drew's amazing.
andmybestfriend.
what kind of girl would be so obsessed with you me at six and all time low?
that'd be me. i'm that girl. jessica's the name, and lying is the game. but lying's not always the game, i didn't lie about my obsession right there. i am obsessed with atl and youmeatsix. i can name all of all time low's song just by hearing it, and i know most of the songs from you me at six.
oh my. here i am trying to "wow" you with some decent first impression and already you think of me as some lying band obsessed teenager. well, you must know there is more to me then that.
like my swagger. and my legit-ness. it's pretty ghetto crazy.
if you're anybody who knows anything, then you'll know i have a mild case of heffaphobia? halfaphobia? i don't know. but i do know i have an irrational fear of being touched. well, i wouldn't say it's irrational. i'd like to think it's rational. as rational as can be. either way, do not, under any circumstances enter my little bubble. i freak the fuck out. ask anybody who's anybody.
that's not always the case. if i'm comfortable enough with you or i'm just comfortable that day, i won't mind. with some i'm comfortable around them all the time, with others it's an on and off thing.
another thing about me; i'm always smiling. well, at least eighty percent of the time. if i smiled one hundred percent of the time, my jaw would need some serious work.
now, i'm not saying that i'm a saint or anything, because i can assure you i am most definitely not even remotely close to being a saint. i've been called a bitch far too many times, i've already lost track. i've lied so many times in my life, i couldn't tell you what was the truth if it was standing right in front of me. i've been grounded because of my anger issues and my attitude. i swear far too much for a girl my age, and sometimes my parents are ashamed of me.
but i'm alright with that.
now if you really know me, you'd know i'm also kind of philophobic. i don't know how this has happened, i think it's because of the whole touching thing, i'm so afraid of people getting close to me physically, that my mind has convinced my body that i'm afraid of people getting close emotionally.
that's pretty logical, right?
of course it is. at least, that's what i tell myself.
sure i've had infatuations, but never have i been infatuated enough for a relationship. besides, i'm stressed out enough. i don't need a boyfriend stressing me out too. plus there's the fact that i haven't found the right guy.
no, not "mr. right" because i'm well aware that he won't be coming around like, ever. i'm talking a guy who could handle me and my moodiness. or the fact that i might put myself before anybody else sometimes. that i might be a demanding, nagging, bitch, but he'll stay long enough to see through that and actually like me because he knows my perks.
yeah. that's gonna happen.
oh, yeah. i'm currently in middle school, and basking in my free health care. which is highly appreciated with all the sprains i've gotten. which leads me to the subject of basketball.
basketball is the whole reason why i have this darn sprained ankle. the same ankle i sprained two times before. once in february again, from basketball, and another time about maybe three years ago from soccer. but basketball is def my favourite sport there is. but that doesn't mean i dislike all the other sports, i'm up for something different.
i like sports. don't hate.
my mind's always in the gutter. and i am not just saying that, because it is exactly as it is. the truth. not it's not exactly eighty year old pedophile dirty, just the whole, oh, yeah, i'm gonna laugh because i can take that sexually. which is pretty much most of the time.
i'm conceited, but i don't consider myself pretty. i haven't met one girl yet who is so self-centered they go around telling people how beautiful they are. i've only ever heard all of my girl friends saying they're 'hideous'. which is far from the truth. so, i'm gonna be one of those annoying girls and tell you i am full on hideous. even if you may think it's a lie, i refuse to depart from denial.
i like denial. it's like a secure, little blanket. you know, one that's so soft and warm you can't help but wrap yourself up with it. and it's pure ecstasy because it's yours and no one else's. and with that blanket you don't have to face the truth. you can convince yourself of anything and everything. it's tainted bliss. your tainted bliss.
but in this case, it's mine.
i'm opinionated and almost always brutally honest, if you ask for my opinion i won't hesitate telling you the truth. if i don't like something, i'll straight up tell you i don't like something. but twenty-five percent of the time i hold it in. not for my sake, of course. i just don't wanna be a bitch all the time. it's a life choice.
i may not say what i really think of you, but i will think it. oh, i will. if you're reading this now, thinking what a terrible human being i must be, think about this. even if you haven't exactly told people off or bitched and moaned about someone behind their back, you're judging me right now. and you hardly even know me.
everybody judges on first impressions. sometimes even appearance alone. i do it, i'm not gonna lie about that. so you can't sit there thinking i'm a complete liar, also everybody's lied. even if it's a small, white lie. a lie is a lie, no matter how much you like to think that it's not.
me. i happen to be a compulsive liar. and i've been one for years, it wasn't until this year that i've admit it.
you've heard about my many flaws. and just like my flaws i have many perks. maybe you'll get to see them one day, maybe you won't. only time will tell.
now continue wondering how i sleep at night.
Sincerely, the most legit bitch there is :]
I'm tired &&bored.
Kinda sucks.
Sigh
Sigh
Sigh
Sigh
Sigh.
&&Sigh again.
I'm still bored.
I don't hook up.
Ha, that's a lie. I hooked up at the dance, I just didn't tell anybody. Not even Becca. Until now. He was hot.
But it was a one night thing.
Now it sounds like I'm not a virgin anymore. Well, I am.
Speaking of the S.E.X word, I saw condoms at a convenient store where a bunch of kids shop. It was out in the open, too. I was tempted to buy one and make a balloon animal.
Oh, sweetheart, but the jaguar down because you don't wanna miss a thing.
I hate Kelly Clarkson's music, but that song isn't so bad. Oh, I know why now. Katy Perry originally wrote it.
Katy Perry's good. I like her songs.
Brady was acting like a Pimp and he said he wanted to get me in bed.
Pssssssh. Brady, Brady, Brady, such a naughty boy.
He wants to be QB. And it's funny because he's shorter then me! Bot that there's anything wrong with that, of course, but Brady's so quiet! And it's so odd thinking of him as a QB.
But I have to admit, if his hair was a bit linger, I wouldn't mind if he wanted to get me into bed. You should see his eyes, they're the prettiest blue I've ever seen!
Yes, even better then Alex Evan's.
Brady
Brady
Brady
Brady
He's my best friend, did you know that?
Well, he's my friend. Gavin's my BBFFL. He was wearing a Superman shirt. That makes him automatically the coolest guy I know.
Besides Josh. He's my other BFFL. No, not the one who pissed on Strath's doors, the Josh in my class.
Brenden's so sweet!
And he's really considerate, we're BBFFFFFFFFFFFFLs, he even admits it. Not to mention hilarious!
Kiss me through the phone.
Can you even do that?
My father's a DICK! I hate him. Honestly, I do. All he ever does is say I break everything, and says I'm careless, and he always asks me what kind of head I have, and last, but not least, he always says I don't think.
Dick.
Hum, hum, hum, HUMMER!
They're bad for our environment.
I spelled environment wrong. I spelled it inviroment.
I'm tired.
1. What's Amber's opinion on cheese?
She said, and I quote "HOLY FUDGE THAT SHIT IS TEH SHIT! XD"
2. Describe Rebecca in five words.
Smart, sarcastic, trustworthy, my BFFL, MINE!
3. What would you do if Taylor confessed love to you?
I'd tell her I love her too, and we'd get married, have 89 kids and have lots of happy fun times! No, I'm jaykaying with you, I'd tell her I love her, just not that way. And we'd have lots of happy fun times!
4. What would you do if Brenden confessed love to you?
I'd laugh because I know he'd be kidding.
5. Have you ever been in Kole's house?
I've been outside it. That counts.
6. If you could do anything with Erin, what would it be?
Hum, hum, hum, we'd get married and have lots of happy, hoppy fun times! No, we wouldn't get married, we'd probably go to the nearest candy store, raid it, go to the Red River Ex, go on roller coasters until we puke, have a sleepover, make chocolate in her chocolate maker, dip bananas in it, laugh about it five minutes later, watch Sponge Bob Squarepants, laugh at each other, kick each other out of the bed, and have happy, hoppy, white-out, fun times!
7. Do you do anything special with Madison?
Me &&Mommy Maddie do lots of special things together!
8. What would you do if you hadn't met Zac?
I would never have experienced wearing a gangsta hat that has bugs on it, so I'd cry.
9. Would you love to read Nevada's very personal diary?
She doesn't have one, but if she did, I would.
10. Would you marry Drew?
Elle Em Ay Eff Oh! Of course! No, I'm jaykaying with you, I wouldn't but we'll hang out. I love her, though!
11. What would you do if Christian and Bourke were going out?
Ironically, they did go out at the beginning of the year. But it didn't work out, but I'd be okay with it.
12. Melysa is actually Jayna in disguise, you know.
Well, at least she's not Justyn in disguise, that'd mean Melysa was hitting on me!
13. How do your and Bourke's talents add up?
I dunno
14. Do you trust Jack?
Yupperdoodle!
15. Do you miss Justyn?
I mostly miss his hair. It's pretty! But, yea, I miss him in a sense I guess.
16. Who is Jayna's best friend?
Kaitlin &&I
17. Who does Kaitlin like?
That's on a need-to-know bases, and you don't need to know.
18. What would you do without Alix?
I'd miss my candy-giving-cell-phone-staling buddy, so I might cry.
19. Do you love Spiderman?
Pssh, Spiderman wishes he had this. But, yea I do.
20. Will God eat those green eggs and ham?
Possibly.
Those are my answers.
Got the questions from this!
So click it.
And have a click it orgasm.
Have Fun!
Fairies &&Cucumbers!
xo.xo
Jessica <3<3
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy,
tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, re-post as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...
My brother's off prancing around in his football equipment, and skipping around on a football field killing eighth graders!
That's odd.
But I love my brother!
Cottage Cheese &&Lollipops!
Jessica <3<3
Well damn.
Since when did life get so, spirally?
Yes, okay, spirally.
Since when could you not trust anybody, because they always end up hurting you or someone you care about?
You know, at first I thought this person was okay, and I trusted this person with my friend's heart. But this person changed.
This person changed so much.
This person treated my friend like shit, me like shit, and every flaw that I found, I stuck with it as another way to hate this person.
I'm not going to mention any names besides my own. But all I know is my friend is broken, and it's really sad because I know that this time, I might not be able to fix my friend.
I should have said something, the minute I suspected it. But I didn't because I trusted this person and I thought this would all blow over and turn out okay.
Ha.
It has fully dawned on me that this isn't one of the stories I read or write, and it'll end up so much more badly then I hoped.
This is reality. And reality sucks.
I'm tired of liars, and I'm tired of putting my trust in somebody, only having them let me down in the end.
I thought I made it clear how much my friends means to me, and that this person really shouldn't have done that. This person should have came clean, but this person didn't.
This person ended it much worse then it should have ended.
That's one strike.
This person was being so hypocritical, and this person made me feel like shit even when I wasn't supposed to. Not to mention, this person broke my friend.
That's two.
This person lied, and possibly cheated. This person --that I trusted-- lost my trust.
Therefore; three.
As you know, I do have immense trust issues, and this person might never get my trust back.
Truthfully, you don't have to read this. It's just a meaningless rant. You don't have to comment, or try to make me feel better or anything like that. I just needed something to write in.
Hopefully, I can sleep tonight and have a good dream. Something that can keep me on a high for the day. Or at least act like it.
Good night.
Waffles &&Bananas
Jessica <3<3
I'm immensely bored!
And I forgot something really important in my locker, no it's not my brush. It something much, much, much more important.
And not what I think you're thinking, Becky.
LMFAO. I just remembered something that happened before homeroom after lunch. My little encounter with Alix, my phone, and Kole's locker.
Damn is Alix really cold. Then again, he was in the rain, so that made him wet too. ROFLMFAO I just remembered a dirty way of saying that.
OH EM GEE ROFL CHEESE STICKS! Bourke asked if I kissed him for my phone. Pht, you know it!
Drew says I should date Brenden. No I really shouldn't, he's like my crackin' brother. Yes, I said crackin', I'm thinking about crackers, don't ask me why because I won't be able to tell you.
Kole and I were also playing patty cake before homeroom. I don't know why, I put my hands up and then we started playing.
At lunch I said dirty things again; about Kole and I, he didn't care, he actually played along, and we grossed out Erin.
Speaking of little Miss Erin, things have cooled down between me and her, and things have also cooled down with me and Janelle, though I still don't like Janelle, I can stand her.
Brenden. Is. Talented.
It is official.
He's also a magician!
First; he takes my spectacular specs and uses them to complete his "look", he tucks in his shirt, pulls up his pants until it almost comes up to his "muscular" chest of his, and he pretends to have a lisp.
OH EM GEE ROFL CHEESE STICKS, he's hilarious. Not to mention my home dawg.
Then he takes a black garbage bag, tells me to turn around, I do being that naive, he sticks it up his shirt, makes me turn back around, and tells me to watch his magic trick.
He pulled out the garbage bag from inside his shirt, and for a few seconds I thought he pulled out something pretty personal.
Then we laugh about it for a few seconds.
I'm pretty okay with presenting now, and it's also because of my adoring fans. Brenden and Justyn. And i could never forget Georgia!
But I was still shaking when I was reading my speech.
Ms. Winkworth sorta freaked me out; making me think I had lost 5 marks. Scared me to death. Or just made me freak a bit.
During me and Alix's fiasco with my phone and Kole's locker, we actually held hands for a bit. It was awwwwwwwwkward. Kole found it cute though, he went all 'Awwwww' on us. Of course, he was kidding.
I think that's how he spells his name. I'm not entirely sure. Either way, today was a pretty damn good day.
Except for our twelve minute run, but oddly, during that I was on a high, so it was by far the best twelve minute runs I've had. And it's not because it's the last one, you silly geeses.
Okay, so it's partly that.
CRACKA! Josh pissed on the doors of Strath. Funny, funny Joshie. Josh is one of my brother's friends.
I don't like rain, do you?
I don't like it because it always screws me over, not to mention screws up my hair. Annnnd, last time a car splashed me while I was walking to school. Little cracker never even stopped to apologize.
What a fork.
This weekend me and mommy are off to buy me more skinny jeans! But it's because my kitty scratched up my favourite pair of them. What a silly kitty. I also need new sweats, the ones I have are FUNGOUS! Are Oh Eff Elle, fungous is a funny word, I'll have you know.
Well, I'm off to watch a movie that might scar me, or scare me. Whichever comes first.
OREOS AND MILK!
Jessica <2 <--- Elle Em Eff Ay Oh, what a messed up heart.
Now I'm fo' real gonna go.
Bye!
Waffles and Bananas!
Jessica <3<3
