Don't you miss those days?
You know. Those days; you would almost get banned from the library because you trampled everybody in your way for that one certain Garfield book.
Where you were so naive to everything around you, and the word boyfriend/girlfriend never even crossed your mind once.
Where you still thought the opposite sex had cooties that if you got, you'd suffer a miserable death.
Where you were too innocent to know the words rape, sexual assault, kidnap.
Where you were sheltered and protected against everything any anything.
Where it wouldn't matter the age difference between you and your most bestest friend, because he or she would play dolls or cars with you.
Where you could prance around and not give a damn about anything.
You know; where you were free and felt free, too.
God, I miss those days.]
I loved almost getting banned from libraries, dirtying up my outfit because I didn't like it, changing my favourite colour every week, when the worst that could happen was falling and getting a "boo boo", where heartbreak was foreign to you, and heartache never existed in your world, because you were so happy.
You can't deny you miss at least one part of your younger years. I know I miss a lot. How I would always argue with my old guy best friend, that growing up would be boring. How I could go to his house and play with my dolls and make him wear the jewelry I stole from my mom just for him.
Those were definitely the days.
Then again, if I had stayed my seven year old self for as long as I lived I probably wouldn't be here right now.
I wouldn't have met those people that I now call my friends, and if I had passed them by as my seven year old self, I wouldn't have given them a second glance because they were strangers in my eyes.
I wouldn't have experienced my first crush on my neighbor who moved away, and I wouldn't know what the real world was like, because I was always sheltered and protected.
I wouldn't have experienced my first broken wrist from basketball, and I wouldn't know what it would have been like being able to go places without being supervised.
Why am I suddenly writing this?
Honestly, I have no idea. I think all the fresh air has finally gotten to my head.
But I think I realized something.
At first; I thought I couldn't trust anybody. And I learned that you can usually only trust yourself because at some point, the person you trusted the most, will lose your trust.
But I met a person who I can tell anything to, and she'd listen for hours on end, because she actually cares and she's experienced things much worse then myself.
I learned that my life may not be perfect, or even close to it, but at least I have a life, right?
There were times that I thought I should quit, and give up on life. But I pulled through my depression, and I looked on the bright side.
I may not get to keep my Becky-Boo forever, and no I don't mean like that, but at least she'll be there until she can't be anymore.
I learned that somewhere in this world, somebody as it harder then me, and somebody probably has it harder then anybody reading this.
So here's my advice to anybody who's doubting themselves right now; Appreciate it. Be happy that you might have one person who cares enough to listen and help you through the darkest stage of your life.
Appreciate the fact you have a life and that you get to experience the things you do. And as overused as it is; you only get one life, live it to the fullest.
I also realized something else, Beck told me there's this lady who's looking for teen/tween authors. Becky told me I should give it a shot, I thought 'Oh no, not gonna go there. I'll just be rejected.' But, I'll never know if I don't try.
So try the things you've always wanted to, try your best in everything because eventually they might lead you to something great!
This song August Is Over - We The Kings inspired me to post all this.
And some of it might not make sense, but these are my thoughts and they hardly ever make sense, just be happy I was able to write at least a regular sentence... Somewhere in here.
I'm off.
Be happy, be healthy!
.xo.xo.
Jessica &&Hearts <3<3
I'm bored and I just finished my art homework. Now I have to write. Well, damn. I'm gonna be a busy bee today. Ben Stiller is funny!
I think I'm gonna make this a long post today.
Wanna know how??
A SURVEY!
That I stole.
Because I'm James Bond like that.
Let's make that two surveys that I stole. Because I'm a Panda Bear like that.
GIRLS ONLY:
Do you sleep in your bra?
That's confidential information that only Andy Sandberg knows.
Do you enjoy drama?
Bleh, no.
Are you a girly girl?
Depends on the day and what I'm feeling.
Last person you hugged?
Jayna
Small or big purses?
Big please.
Do you think you’re conceited?
Depends
Do you dress up on Halloween?
Pssssh, I go as Erin for Halloween. I scare a lot of people.
Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
I forget.
Has anyone touched/smacked your butt?
Yes, and Brooke tickled it. That was very, very, awkward.
Last person who walked you somewhere?
I dunno
Do you call anybody by their last name?
Depends
Do you wear makeup?
Yes. Eyeliner, and sometimes lip gloss
Ever cried at a movie theater?
Not that I remember
Can you put mascara on without opening your mouth?
Not a chance
Have you ever been called a bad influence?
OH EM GEE ROFL CHEESE STICKS! YES! And it was pretty damn funny.
THIS OR THAT:
Eyeliner or Mascara?
Eyeliner
Louis Vuitton or Dooney & Burke?
Louis Vuitton
American Eagle or Hollister?
Americanb Eagle
Heels or flats?
Floaties! No I'm jaykaying with you. Well, actually, no I'm not. But flats.
Skirts or pants?
Pants. I only wear skirts to like weddings or something like that.
Hoodies or jackets?
Hoodies. I wear them almost everyday of my life.
Heels or sneakers?
Sneaks
Straight or curly hair?
Straight or wavy
RANDOM:
What color is your bra that your wearing?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Think!
Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
I usually go for the dark haired guys, but if the light hair works on him, he's a keeper!
Are you currently frustrated with a guy?
Somewhat. But it's only because he keeps teasing me
Do you have a best friend?
Yes. I have more then one, thank you!
Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
No, I don't believe in that sort of stuff. I like natural beauty, not fake.
Do you like your life?
It could be better, but I still love it.
Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Yea. But technically I was pushed, and I pulled them in with me. I do not go down alone.
Would you ever tell someone you loved them even though you didn't?
LMFAO. Yes, but they knew I was kidding around.
Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
Yes. I bitch slapped him back to China Town! Well, no, but it hurt him!
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Once or twice. But that's over now.
Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
I've never been that attracted to someone.
Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Yupperdoodle!
Are you currently missing someone?
Yea, actually a lot of people.
IN A BOY:
Preppy or Punk/Goth?
Punk/goth. But if the shoe fits, then preppy. I don't really judge on labels.
Well-educated or Dropout?
I don't want him to be crazy smart, average would be nice.
Anything Cute or Abercrombie?
Neither.
Contacts or Glasses?
Hm, I don't usually fall for the guys with glasses, so most likely contacts, but if he looks hot in glasses, then I don't care. Also, he has to be able to make me wet my pants from laughing. No, jaykay. But he has to make me laugh.
Funny or Serious?
Funny! But serious when needed to be.
Long Hair or Short Hair?
Long, but not past his shoulders. Think Kelly Edwards hair. No longer then that.
Curly Hair or Straight Hair?
Depends, but I usually like straight.
Good Dancer or Good Singer?
Singer. We'll have a lot of fun, teaching him how to dance ;)
Basketball Player or Football Player?
I love both! Basketball because I could play one-on-one with him, and football so he could teach me. If you get what I'm hinting at. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge! ;)
Smoker or Non-smoker
Non-smoker. Honestly, smokers disgust me.
Drinker or Non-drinker?
He can drink, but I don't want him to be an alcoholic.
;;@~NEXT SURVEY~@;;
YOUR BOY SIDE
(x)You love hoodies.
(x) You love jeans.
( )Dogs are better than cats.
(x) It's hilarious when people get hurt. (As long as it's not serious)
(x) You've played with/against boys on a team.(Psssh, I've played with and against them!
( ) Shopping is torture. (I find it fun!)
(x) Sad movies suck.
(x) You own an X-Box.
(x) Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. (LMFAO! Of course!)
( ) At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
(x) You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.(You know it!)
(x) You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.(I loved the blue one)
(x) You watch sports on TV.(I love watching Football!)
(x) Gory movies are cool. (Especially when they're Horror)
( ) You go to your dad for advice
( ) You own like a trillion baseball caps.
(x) You like going to football games
( ) You used to/do collect baseball cards.
(x) Baggy pants are cool to wear. (If they're sweats; sure. But I'm more into skinny jeans)
( ) It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.(Not at all. I don't even care if I have a sleepover with a guy)
(x) Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.(Black, red, and blue.)
(x) you love to go crazy and not care what people think.(Let them think what they want. I won't give a shitcake!)
(x) Sports are fun.( I <3 Basketball &&Football)
(x) Talk with food in your mouth. (Sometimes)
(x) Wear boxers. (Damn right!)
Total: 18
YOUR GIRL SIDE.
(x) You wear lip gloss.
(x) You love to shop.(Like I said; I find it fun!)
(x) You wear eyeliner.
( ) You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
( ) You wear the color pink.
( ) Go to your mom for advice.
( ) You consider cheerleading a sport.
( ) You hate wearing the color black.
(x) You like hanging out at the mall.(Making a scene and having fun is the shit)
( ) You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
(x) You like wearing jewelry.(Just earrings and sometimes necklaces and rings)
( ) Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
( ) Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
( ) You don't like the movie Star Wars.(Hayden Christensen is a HOTTIE!)
( ) You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
(x) It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories. (It takes me an hour just to shower)
(x) You smile a lot more than you should.(I love smiling!)
( ) You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
(x) You care about what you look like. (I admit; I do. But I don't care that much)
( ) You like wearing dresses when you can.
(x) You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.(I love my cotton candy perfume!)
(x) You wear girl underwear. (I am a girl)
(x) Used to play with dolls as little kid.(I loved Barbies and Polly Pockets!)
(x) Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.(It's also fun playing dress-up, and drawing on your face with eyeliner!)
(x) Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera. (My cell's filled with photos of me and my friends!)
Total: 13
So, there it is! I'm more boy then girl, but I'm A-OK with that. I was being truthful the whole way through! I swear!
My friend is having emotion troubles, so I'm going to try to help her as much as I can!
We stick together like Peanut Butter &&Jelly! But hold the jelly, because I don't like that stuff.
My brother said he'd eat me. What a cannibal. Tsk, tsk.
My friend has been a bitch lately. It kinda sucks.
I'm off to eat something before I pass out from lack of nutrition! It's happened, don't let me fool you.
.xo.xo.
Jessica &&Hearts <3<3
You know what Tay pointed out sometime in French on Friday? She pointed out that Justyn and I flirt in every class but we're not dating. She says we should, we say we shouldn't.
I couldn't think of Justyn that way. It's...Weird. She said we had a complicated relationship.
Justyn and I are just friends. We just tease each other and flirt with each other a lot.
Let's see? What else?
I'm currently writing chapter six of my new story, and it's pretty knee slappin' if you ask me. I'm in love with my character, Tyler Gabe Matthews.
I love the song Remembering Sunday - All Time Low. It's really good, you should listen to it.
I forgot my french homework in my locker, so I'm screwed. Oh well, I'll just hand it in late, I'm pulling a 98 in that class, I'm sure I won't fail if I lose a few.
Let's eat sugar. It's dope!
I hate cheesecake. It's gross.
Becca pushed me onto cement. Now my leg's scratched up, Erin also tripped me, and I got a small cut on my other knee. Becca I hope you know that I could've gotten my cut infected, and then I might've had to get my leg amputated, and you'd have to hear me whining everyday of my life, telling you how you jeopardized my sex life!
Forget the last part, because that came out of nowhere. But if I really did have to get my leg amputated, she'd be paying my surgical and hospital bills. Then I'm gonna make her write my will because sometime during the surgery I lost the use of my hands from being shocked or something, and I'd make sure to give her the thing she will never want.
But I still have to find out what that is.
Furthermore, Becca you owe me two scoops of ice cream and one more new chapter or else I will get my lawn mower and shove it down your throat!
Becca and I have a very loving relationship.
I'm off to clean cat poop!
Tooooooooodles!
Becca I very much dislike you!
In a very loving way!
I don't know how that works, but in my head it does!
.xo.xo.
Jessica &&Hearts <3<3
Byeeeeeeee!
I hated my LA sub, he held us back and got me all restless.
Tomorrow we're having a party! And cake! Ms. Winkworth is absolutely a-maz-ing.
Erin dared me to go up to three random guys and ask them if they liked my hair because it was in pig tails. And I'm glad to say I did it, and some of them even complimented it!
Except my locker buddy, Robby. He's a party pooper.
She also dared me to yell at her sub through the window. I'm glad to say I did that, too.
It really sucked when it rained. That sorta ruined my day. Brenden's my ex-BBFFL. I forget what he did, though.
Justyn tried to "impress" me during french by doing the Johnny Toe-Touch. He got me to look at him, alright.
Brenden can do it so much better, though. Funny, funny, funny.
It's official; Tay counts as a guy.
I learned about nouns, adverbs, verbs, adjectives, and more all in one video!
Janelle thought we were locker buddies. Pssssh, I've moved onto Robby.
Just follow these steps!
1) Cut a hole in a box.
2) Put your junk in that box.
3) Make her open that box.
And that's the way you do it!
Dick In A Box is a good song. Listen to it. OH EM GEE ROFL CHEESES STICKS! I'd still bang Andy Sandberg.
Before you started this survey, what were you doing?
Your mom. I just said that with a serious face, which makes it serious. Laugh. No, I'm jaykaying! I was blow drying my hair while dancing around in a Chicago shirt. Don't ask me how to do that, 'cause I'm not gonna tell you!
What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Um, I believe it was some type of Horror movie. I think it was The Grudge, or Saw V.
Without looking, guess what time it is
5:30
Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
5:42
With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
I can hear the song Circus, the song The Kill, and the song What Have You Done Now?
When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I was getting the mail in my fuzzy slippers and my pajamas.
Did you dream last night?
Probably.
Do you remember your dreams?
Hardly ever. But I talk while sleeping... Yea.
When did you last laugh?
When I saw my brother. No, I'm kidding. In french. Or while walking with Melysa, Drew, Marden, and Megan.
Do you remember why / at what?
Well, Brenden did the Johnny Toe-Touch or because one of them said something funny.
What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Calender, time table, eyeliner, marker, pictures, you know, the works.
Seen anything weird lately?
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, I can think of a few things. (Lol, Becca. JAYKAY!)
What do you think of this quiz?
S'alright.
What is the last film you saw?
The Grudge or Saw V
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Hm, Florida, California, someplace sunny. Or where I am now.
If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Clothes. Flats. All the skater shoes I love. A new iPod. New phone. And a VIP pas to Sargent Sunday. Cotton Candy ice cream is the shit.
Tell me something about you that most people don't know.
I could tell a lot of things most people don't know. But honestly, I don't want to.
If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
A lot. Like kill George W. Bush! That's for killing my bug friend, Bob. Stupid Bush.
Do you like to dance?
I go to dances, don't I?
Would you ever consider living abroad?
Hm, I don't really know what that means,s o no thanks.
Does your name make any interesting anagrams?
What the Hell is that?
Who made the last incoming call on your phone?
Celly; Mommy Maddie. Home phone; Chris.
What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
I believe it was Dick In A Box.
Last time you swam in a pool?
Two years ago. I hate swimming now.
Type of music you like most?
Well, well, well. That's a toughie. I'm gonna have to say; a lot.
Type of music you dislike most?
Country. Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!
Are you listening to music right now?
You know it!
What color is your bedroom carpet?
A light brown.
If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
Get myself a balcony, make my house bigger, go all out, 'ya know?
What was the last thing you bought?
Lemon scented water.
Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?
I've rode on a scooter, that should count.
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Both, 'cause I'm a daredevil like that.
Do you have a garden?
Yes.
Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
It kinda comes to me while singing it. If I'm not; then no, I don't.
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
Well, today it was 'Waffles and syrup.' Yesterday it was 'Rollie Pollie Ollie' and the day after that was 'Ow. Fuck you Chris.' he pulled me out of bed and I fell off it.
If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
Alex Gaskarth, hands down, no questions. Or Andy Sandberg.
Who sent the last text message you received?
Who was the most loved today; Maddie.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Hot Topic or Pac Sun. DC is erotically orgasmic.
What time is bed time?
10:30-11:00PM
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
If I have; I am going to kill the person who put me in it.
How many tattoos do you have?
None, but I want one or two.
If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one?
PSHA!
What did you do for your last birthday?
Sleepover and horror movies, and pigging out with besties.
Do you carry a donor card?
Oh yeah! Well, no I actually don't. But saying 'oh yeah!' made me feel like the Kool-Aid Man!
Who was the last person you ate dinner with?
My brother and mommy.
Is the glass half empty or half full?
I dunno. You tell me.
What's the farthest-away place you've been?
Philippines.
When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
I thought that said hormonal tomato, so I'm thinking 'You wanna be my first?' but I think it was last year.
Have you ever won a trophy?
Yup.
Are you a good cook?
I almost burnt peanut butter and set my toaster on fire. What do you think? But I'm great at cooking anything that's not simple! I'm terrible with cereal.
Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Yea, except I go a tad bit crazy with it.
If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?
Hm, I'm gonna have to say Alex Gaskarth or Andy Sandberg. No, not because I owuld jump them. Phhhhhhhht, NO! (Well, okay, yea.)
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?
Noperdoodle!
Do you touch-type?
Whoa! Do I WHAT?!
What's under your bed?
Hm, some used condoms. That guy from last night. And-- Oh, never mind. No, jaykay. I don't have an under, under my bed if that makes sense.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Do you believe that if you shoot yourself in the head, you won't die?
Think fast, what do you like right now?
Ice cream, Candy, Andy Sandberg, Alex Gaskarth, and-- Oh never mind let's say music.
Where were you on Valentine's day?
Hanging out with friends and laughing with Erin and my other friends.
What time do you get up?
On weekdays; 7:30 or later. Weekends; Any time after 10AM.
What was the name of your first pet?
Peter the Pebble. I was so sad when I had to flush him down the toilet. But then he almost clogged it. He stopped breathing.
Who is the second to last person to call you?
Cell; Justin looking for my brother. Home phone; Jayna.
Is there anything going on this weekend?
I was supposed to go to the movies with Nakiah, but then I got grounded.
How are you feeling right now?
Pretty okay.
What do you think about the most?
My mind's everywhere. So a lot of things.
What time do you get up in the morning?
Scroll. Up.
If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?
Wait about thirty seconds, then cue the 'Fuck'.
Who would you tell first?
That dog that would be sitting beside and old lady with a cane.
What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?
Hannah Montana
Do you sing in the shower?
No, but I yell in the shower. Does that count?
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Wow. Scroll. Up.
What do you do most when you are bored?
Read, write, listen to music, call people, text, dance, take pictures. You name it; I've done it. Well anything but it and anything that involves sexual stuff. And maybe some other things.
What do you do for a living?
I write, but it's nothing official or anything.
Do you love your job?
Do I have a job? No.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Doctor
If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?
Pediatrician. (Kids' Doctor) and if that doesn't work out, an author.
Which came first the chicken or the egg?
Well, well, well, don't you think that's between me and the farmer? That didn't make sense; it only made sense to the people who have a dirty mind like mine.
How many keys on your key ring?
1
Where would you retire to?
Let's seeeeeeeee... I dunno yet. Maybe right here.
What kind of car do you drive?
The kind that goes really, really fast and you can control it with a touch of your finger! Also known as; the toy car!
What are your best physical features?
Well, I like my nose, ears and eyes, and my hair! You gotta admit, it's utterly sexy. I told Erin she was undeniably sexy. Of course we were only kidding around. She said I was so hot I was on fire! Good times. (That was at lunch)
What are your best characteristics?
My sense of humor, I bounce-back quickly, I'm independent, I'm passing my subjects, ask Becca for more. She'll know!
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?
Florida, California, Philippines, or the States. Barack Obama is on my speed dial.
What kind of books do you like to read?
Adventure, Romance, Suspense, the works.
Where would you want to retire to?
Stop fucking repeating yourself!
What is your favorite time of the day?
Night time or sunset.
Where did you grow up?
Winnipeg.
How far away from your birthplace do you live now?
I dunno. Far?
What are you reading now?
This.
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
I dislike mornings very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much! (I hate mornings) so I would say night owl.
Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
I'm this | | close!
Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?
Oh yeah.
Do you have pets?
Yupperdoodle!
How many rings before you answer the phone?
Until I see the name, so about three. And if I don't have caller ID, three.
What is your best childhood memory?
Tasting my first ice cream cone. Swear to God, I was in Heaven.
What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?
Newspaper shit. I hated it.
Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?
I made a new friend!
What is most important in life?
God, friends, family, books, ice cream, candy, sugar, my kitty, a lot of things are important to me.
What Inspires You?
People, dreams, the people around me, a lot of things.
"Yes Erin. I find you undeniably sexy." "Oh thank you, Jessie. You're so hot, you're on fire!" -Me & Erin.
We love each other so much, that it's not awkward anymore! Lol.
.xo.xo.
Jessica &&Hearts <3<3
Talk with your hips.
The title; very true story. Christian said he was like 50 something and announced in math that I like older men.
Honestly, I do. All the guys in my grade are short and well, just my friends. It'd be weird to actually date one of them.
Tyson broke up with Nakiah during lunch break and Tay asked me out for Justyn in french. Of course I said no.
I'm drinking lemon scented water. That stuff is the shit. I'm not allowed to hang out with any of my friends this week, according to my mother & father.
But I'm happy that I got my hair thinned and my internet back. So that's good.
Keyboard Cat is fucking amazing. Excuse my language.
CHARMANE ULTRA! LESS IS MORE!
Gawd do I love that song. I sing it on a daily bases.
It's my dick in a box!
Not that I have one or anything; it's a good song.
I'd bang Alex Gaskarth, too. Becca knows all about it.
I broke into her locker again. Well, I guess it's not necessarily "broke into" considering she was standing right behind me. And I sort of announced it. And then I said I'm not breaking into it.
I'm so good, I could rob a bank!
Well, no. I'm actually not that good. Truthfully, I'm not even half that good. Or good for that matter.
My hair's not poofy anymore! I have to admit; I sorta miss all my hair with it's mane like-ness.
I have two chapters up for my new story The Boy Across the Street. READ IT! But, here's a warning; there's some foul language in there. But it's good, nonetheless.
I'm off to continue writing the third chapter.
Toodle Loo!
.xo.xo.
Jessica &&Hearts <3<3
I'm a tragedy in the making and a failure at heart.
Personally, I have no idea what I mean by that.
And I don't know why I wrote that either.
But I thought what the Hell, why not?
BYEEEEEEEEE!
