drew's amazing.
andmybestfriend.
what kind of girl would be so obsessed with you me at six and all time low?
that'd be me. i'm that girl. jessica's the name, and lying is the game. but lying's not always the game, i didn't lie about my obsession right there. i am obsessed with atl and youmeatsix. i can name all of all time low's song just by hearing it, and i know most of the songs from you me at six.
oh my. here i am trying to "wow" you with some decent first impression and already you think of me as some lying band obsessed teenager. well, you must know there is more to me then that.
like my swagger. and my legit-ness. it's pretty ghetto crazy.
if you're anybody who knows anything, then you'll know i have a mild case of heffaphobia? halfaphobia? i don't know. but i do know i have an irrational fear of being touched. well, i wouldn't say it's irrational. i'd like to think it's rational. as rational as can be. either way, do not, under any circumstances enter my little bubble. i freak the fuck out. ask anybody who's anybody.
that's not always the case. if i'm comfortable enough with you or i'm just comfortable that day, i won't mind. with some i'm comfortable around them all the time, with others it's an on and off thing.
another thing about me; i'm always smiling. well, at least eighty percent of the time. if i smiled one hundred percent of the time, my jaw would need some serious work.
now, i'm not saying that i'm a saint or anything, because i can assure you i am most definitely not even remotely close to being a saint. i've been called a bitch far too many times, i've already lost track. i've lied so many times in my life, i couldn't tell you what was the truth if it was standing right in front of me. i've been grounded because of my anger issues and my attitude. i swear far too much for a girl my age, and sometimes my parents are ashamed of me.
but i'm alright with that.
now if you really know me, you'd know i'm also kind of philophobic. i don't know how this has happened, i think it's because of the whole touching thing, i'm so afraid of people getting close to me physically, that my mind has convinced my body that i'm afraid of people getting close emotionally.
that's pretty logical, right?
of course it is. at least, that's what i tell myself.
sure i've had infatuations, but never have i been infatuated enough for a relationship. besides, i'm stressed out enough. i don't need a boyfriend stressing me out too. plus there's the fact that i haven't found the right guy.
no, not "mr. right" because i'm well aware that he won't be coming around like, ever. i'm talking a guy who could handle me and my moodiness. or the fact that i might put myself before anybody else sometimes. that i might be a demanding, nagging, bitch, but he'll stay long enough to see through that and actually like me because he knows my perks.
yeah. that's gonna happen.
oh, yeah. i'm currently in middle school, and basking in my free health care. which is highly appreciated with all the sprains i've gotten. which leads me to the subject of basketball.
basketball is the whole reason why i have this darn sprained ankle. the same ankle i sprained two times before. once in february again, from basketball, and another time about maybe three years ago from soccer. but basketball is def my favourite sport there is. but that doesn't mean i dislike all the other sports, i'm up for something different.
i like sports. don't hate.
my mind's always in the gutter. and i am not just saying that, because it is exactly as it is. the truth. not it's not exactly eighty year old pedophile dirty, just the whole, oh, yeah, i'm gonna laugh because i can take that sexually. which is pretty much most of the time.
i'm conceited, but i don't consider myself pretty. i haven't met one girl yet who is so self-centered they go around telling people how beautiful they are. i've only ever heard all of my girl friends saying they're 'hideous'. which is far from the truth. so, i'm gonna be one of those annoying girls and tell you i am full on hideous. even if you may think it's a lie, i refuse to depart from denial.
i like denial. it's like a secure, little blanket. you know, one that's so soft and warm you can't help but wrap yourself up with it. and it's pure ecstasy because it's yours and no one else's. and with that blanket you don't have to face the truth. you can convince yourself of anything and everything. it's tainted bliss. your tainted bliss.
but in this case, it's mine.
i'm opinionated and almost always brutally honest, if you ask for my opinion i won't hesitate telling you the truth. if i don't like something, i'll straight up tell you i don't like something. but twenty-five percent of the time i hold it in. not for my sake, of course. i just don't wanna be a bitch all the time. it's a life choice.
i may not say what i really think of you, but i will think it. oh, i will. if you're reading this now, thinking what a terrible human being i must be, think about this. even if you haven't exactly told people off or bitched and moaned about someone behind their back, you're judging me right now. and you hardly even know me.
everybody judges on first impressions. sometimes even appearance alone. i do it, i'm not gonna lie about that. so you can't sit there thinking i'm a complete liar, also everybody's lied. even if it's a small, white lie. a lie is a lie, no matter how much you like to think that it's not.
me. i happen to be a compulsive liar. and i've been one for years, it wasn't until this year that i've admit it.
you've heard about my many flaws. and just like my flaws i have many perks. maybe you'll get to see them one day, maybe you won't. only time will tell.
now continue wondering how i sleep at night.
Sincerely, the most legit bitch there is :]
I got your picture
I'm coming with you
Dear Maria, count me in
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle
And I'm the pen
If you wanna see a kid in a speedo, does that make you a pedophile? Yea, I thought so, too.
When the lights go off
I wanna watch the way you
Take the stage by storm
The way you wrap those boys around your finger
Go on and play the leader
'Cause you know it's what you're good at
The low road for the fast track
Make every second last
Wanna know what's funny?
A slinky going do the stairs.
Wanna know what's funnier?
Seeing somebody trip down the stairs.
'Cause I got your picture
I'm coming with you
Dear Maria, count me in
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle
And I'm the pen
Make it count when I'm the one
Who's selling you out
'Cause it feels like stealing hearts
Calling your name from the crowd
You knock down a table full of cans, and suddenly you're banned for life! How whacked is that?
Then in the field you'll be the show girl of the home team
I'll be the narrator
Telling another tale of the American dream
"You're not cool enough to say da bomb." -Me
"IT'S GONNA EXPLODE!" -A guy sitting with a bar in between his legs. AKA Nick
I see your name in lights
We can make you a star
Girl, we'll take the world by storm
It isn't that hard
There's a reason why parents' don't let men with dirty, busted white kidnapping vans near their kids. I wonder what it is...
'Cause I got your picture
I'm coming with you
Dear Maria, count me in
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle
And I'm the pen
Make it count when I'm the one
Who's selling you out
'Cause it feels like stealing hearts
Calling your name from the crowd
Whoa...
We call that rape.
Ha ha..
"Don't put your hand there!" -Me
Take a breath, don't it sound so easy
Never had a doubt
Now I'm going crazy watching from the floor
Take a breath and let the rest come easy
Never settle down
'Cause the cash flow leaves me always wanting more
"No I will not marry you." "Why?" "For personal reasons." -Me & Erin
'Cause I got your picture
I'm coming with you
Dear Maria, count me in
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle
And I'm the pen
Make it count when I'm the one
Who's selling you out
'Cause it feels like stealing hearts
Calling your name from the crowd
"Mmmm, bananas dipped in chocolate." ... "Please don't make those noises." -Me & Madison
'Cause I got your picture
I'm coming with you
Dear Maria, count me in
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle
"Erin, don't leave me! I can change!" -Me.
"Madd, move your a$$." -Me
"Please tell me Cleo was the one that farted." ... "Get the Febreeze." -Me
"Erin." "Yea?" "Please move your hand." "GROSS!" -Me & Erin
"We've talked about this, Erin. I don't like you like that." -Madison
"Jessie, play with me!" "No comment." -Me & Erin
"I'll play with you, Erin." "Again, no comment." -Me & Madison
"The Hell is--? HOLY F*CK!" -Me
"Stop playing footsie with me!" -Madison
"Don't rub my thigh!" -Me
"You poked me in the wrong place" -Erin
Ahh, the wonders of sleepovers.
Song: Dear Maria Count Me in - All Time Low
I'm bored and it's Monday and I woke up early.
I had a sleepover at Erin's and she drew on my face. I'm no sleeping beauty in the morning, but I was extra cranky.
Well, anyways, I'm bored.
Oh, wait. I said that.
OH WELL!
I should be writing, but I have a mad case of writer's block and a brain fart. Fan-f*cking-tastic.
There's this story on http://www.fictionpress.com and it's called Hit the Ground Running
I'm in love with that story. It's almost as witty as I am! (If not more) But, seriously, if you like reading good vampire stories check that one out. It's really, really good. In fact, that story gave me the idea for my new story And the Clock Struck Midnight
Either way, check out my story if you want to, but I highly recommend the first one.
I need a pick me up. I'm gonna listen to my favorite song, Vegas or Waking Up in Vegas. Gawd those songs are orgasmic.
Somehow I think tic-tacs made me crash.
Odd. But I'm A-OK with that!
On my jeans it says VEGAS BABY. And I'm okay with that too. I'm pretty laid-back today. But at the same time I'm a little peeved and hyper.
I really should be writing.
So I'll go do that again.
Remember; Smurfs will eat your babies, no matter how cool they look.
xoxo
Jessica <3s you!
"When I was in Elementary school, the teacher told me to write down what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote 'happy'. She told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told her she didn't understand life."
"The worst thing about being lied to is knowing that you weren't worth the truth."
"Don't play games with a girl who plays them better."
"Stand for something or you'll fall for anything."
"One day, you're gonna want that girl. The girl that knew she wasn't perfect, but tried to be perfect for you. The girl that believed the scraps of you she was given were worth it, because something was better than nothing. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you and loved you the only way she knew only she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can't being herself to hate you, even though sometimes, you know you deserve it. That girl who saw past your pretty face and treasured parts of you that no one else had ever appreciated. That girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. That's the girl who sees this&& still loves you. And on that day, she'll open her eyes, get up, and move.on."
"I tried to see things from your point of view, but sadly, I couldn't get my head that far up.my.ass."
"We're not sarcastic--we're just hilarious... We're not annoying--we're just cooler than you... we're not bitches--we just don't like you... We're not obsessed--we're just best friends."
"Too often, we loose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but only takes 4 to extend your arm and bitch-slap that motherf#?@&3 upside the head!"
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let us down probably will. You'll have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when someone broke yours. You'll fight with you best friend and maybe even fall in love with them. You'll blame a new love for things and old one did. You'll cry because time is passing by too fast and you'll eventually loose someone close to you. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt, because every 60 seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."
"The shit you hear about me might be true, but then again, it could be as fake as the bitch who told you."
"Music screams the words we're too afraid to speak."
"Girls are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys who don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't nearly as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there's something wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing and just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top."
"Keep your head high, gorgeous. There are people who would kill to see you fall."
"&&She's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone that ever said 'I'll Be There' left."
"She'll chase you around for a while; but there's gonna be a day when she's gonna stop running in circles around you. She's going to get over you and at that very moment, you're gonna wish you had let her catch you."
"I am nowhere near perfect. I eat when I am bored, I fall for boys too easily, I'm vulnerable to believing lies, I'm hoping that one day I won't need a fake smile, I live by quotes that explain exactly what I'm going through, I make up excuses for everything, I have best friends and enemies, I have drama and memories. And that's life. Live it, Love it, Learn from it."
"Don't worry about the people in your past; There's a reason why the didn't make it to your future."
"Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do. I've learned that life is like an hourglass. Sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom. All you have to do is be patient and wait for someone to turn everything back around. And when no one does, be strong and do it yourself."
"I like a challenge, so challenge me. If I fight, fight me back. But it's okay to sometimes let me win. Know that I have my own mind and so should you. Nobody likes an easy girl. Nobody likes an easy boy. Tell me when I'm wrong. Admit it when I'm right. Respect me, my actions, and my words. Feel free to argue. As long as you'll kiss and make up. But remind me as often as needed that you love this."
"You'll never leave where you are until you know where you're headed."
"I'd rather be a bitch than a hoe, rather tell it like it is than blow every boy I know, rather be known for what I do than who I screw."
"Doesn't it always seem that you don't know what you've got until it's finally gone?"
"A broken heart is like reading a book outside on a windy day. Every time you try to turn the page and move on, the wind blows and you end up right back where you started."
"Having the love of your life break up with you and say We Can Still Be Friends is like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep it."
"It breaks your heart when people you know become people you knew, when you can walk right past someone as if they were never a huge part of your life. You used to talk for house on the phone and now you can't even look eachother in the eye. &&it completely breaks your heart to know good things change, and there's nothing that you can do."
"Behind every beautiful girl, there's a dumbass guy who did something wrong and made her strong."
"Have you ever been so completely alone in a crowded room?"
"Never say I love you
If you really don't care
Never talk about feelings
If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
If you're only going to break my heart
Never say you're going to
If you don't even plan to start
Never look into my eyes
If all you do is lie
Never say hello
If you really mean goodbye
If you really mean forever
Then say you will try
Never say forever
'Cause forever makes me cry"
"A million words couldn't bring you back. I know because I've tried. Neither could a million tears. I know because I've cried."
"This ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid."
"Some girls are so naive. He didn't unbutton your blouse for a better view of your heart..."
"Don't make someone a priority, when to them, you're an only option."
HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 6 YEARS?
-------------6 years ago----------
1.) How old were you?: 6
2.) Where did you go to school? Elementary
3.) Where did you work? No where
4.) Where did you live? At Home
5.) Where did you hang out? In my house, and at friend's
6.) Did you wear glasses? Not until grade 1
7.) Who was your best friend(s): Erin, Ashley, Alyssa, Janelle, Lauren, etc.
8.) How many tattoos did you have? None
9.) How many piercings did you have? Just my ears
10.) What car did you drive? Phht, a mustang, b*tches!
11.) Had you been to a real party? Not really
12.) Had You had your heart broken? No
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Divorced, I threw the ring pop at him. Good times...
-------------3 years ago----------
1.) How old were you?: 9
2.) Where did you go to school? Elementary
3.) Where did you work? No where
4.) Where did you live? At home
5.) Where did you hang out? The park, my friend's, at home, other places
6.) Did you wear glasses? Yeaaaaaaah
7.) Who were your best friend? Madison, Erin, Alexandra, Ashley, Karla, etc.(I still thought boys had cooties. Those were the good ol' days.)
8.) How many tattoos did you have? I loved the temporary tattoos!
9.) How many piercings did you have? My ears
10.) What car did you drive? I drove my friend's toy car if that counts.
11.) Had you been to a real party? Yeah
12.) Had your heart broken? Noperdoodle!
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? I believe I was single.
--------------------Today--------------------
1.) How old are you?: 12, b*tch!
2.) Where do you go to school? Middle school/Jr.High
3.) Where do you work? No where
4.) Where do you live? Home
5.) Where do you hang out? Strath, my house, my friend's house, Linwood, Sargent Sunday, etc, etc.
7.) Who are your best friend(s)? Erin, Madison, Rebecca, Kyleen, Jocely, Kole, Brenden, Alex(He gives me candy), Amber, Iggy, Jesse(Becky, remember him??), Drew, my favorite Retarded Goose(Taylor), Nevada, Melysa, Bourke, J-J-Jayna!, Nakiah, McKenzie, (Sorta)Justyn, Maty!, etc.
8.) How many tattoos do you have? None
9.) How many piercings do you have? 4
10.) What car do you drive? None
11.) Have you been to a real party? You bet!
12.) Had your heart broken? Nopes!
13.)Single/Taken/Divorced? Single and lovin' it!
WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
1 MINUTE AGO: Typing
1 HOUR AGO: Getting up
1 DAY AGO: Watching movies with Chrissykinz!(My brother from anotha mother. Jk! We have the same mom)
1 YEAR AGO: Uh, I dunno
I LOVE: My friends, my family-ish, candy, sugar, salt, animals, music, colourful things, laughing, smiling, my hair(IT'S SEXXII!), MY KITTY!, my jeans that I wrote on, All Tim Low, saying F*ck, the word F*ck, etc.
I HATE: Bugs, spiders, stress, pointless drama, big words, math, french, etc.
I FEAR: Bugs, spiders, Jolt running out, not having candy, getting sick, my dad, clowns, blood(It also makes me nauseous), etc.
I FEEL: Tired/Hyper/Happy/Perverted(That's 24/7)
I HIDE: Most of my feelings, my tears, my stash(I'm not telling you what it consists of), etc.
I MISS: Jolt, my friends, my permanent marker I got high off of(JK), etc.
I NEED: Caffeine
I KNOW: That I might be mentally unstable, my friends think I need mental help, I'm loud, I don't think things through very well unless it's really necessary, I'm not very good at spelling though I get good grades, people think I'm a smart-ass, people judge me, people think I'm emo even though I don't act like it, I'm a grammar-freak, I should be labeled crazy for thinking straight jackets are fun, my dog hates me(Even though I don't have one...), etc.
I WANT: YO MOMMA! Just kidding! I want Jolt.
First piercing: Ears
First credit card: My CIBC one.
Last big car ride: Um, yesterday.
Last movie seen in theaters: Hannie Monatanie!
Last food consumed: your brother's banana! JK! I don't remember.
Last person you texted/called: I called Becky, and I texted Erin this morning.
Last CD played: I don't remember.
Last drink drank: Water
SHORT ANSWER
I AM: Typing, yelling at my internet, trying to listen to Remembering Sunday - All Time Low
I HAVE: Fan-f*cking-tastic friends!, a swearing problem, OCD, ADD, a brother who thinks I have both of those, a short-term memory, photographic memory, UR MOM! JK
I LIKE: Bananas, other fruit, candy, a lot more stuff.
I WISH: my family could get along, my dad wasn't such an a$$, etc!
FAVORITES
NUMBER: 7
COLOR: Lime green, neon colours, black, blue, bright colours, red, etc.
DAY(S): Saturday and Friiiiiiiiiday!
MONTH(S): February and June
SEASON: Summer
DRINK: Jolt
IN THE LAST 2 DAYS, HAVE YOU..
CRIED?: No
HELPED SOMEONE?: Yeah
GOTTEN SICK?: Sort of
GONE TO THE MOVIES?: No but I watched a movie at home!
SAID 'I love you'?: To this random kid down the street
TALKED TO AN EX?: Nope he's over 2000 miles away from me!
WRITTEN IN A DIARY?: No
HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: Yes
_______ Best ________
1. Male Friend: Um, I'd have to saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Kole.
3. Best Age: Right here, right now.
4. Best Memory: First tasting ice cream. That was orgasmic!
_______ Worst ________
1. Time Of Day: Morning
2. Day Of The Week: Monday
3. Food: Uh, fish eggs, EWWWWWW!
4. Memory: That's restricted information, come back next week!
_______ Last ________
1. Person you saw: My brother
2. Talk on the phone: Jayna!
3. Person you kissed: It was either Jay-R, or one of my brother's friends(It was on the cheek, don't worry!)
5: Instant Msg: Becky!
_______ First ________
1. Job: Newspaper thing
2. best friend: Either Erin or Alyssa
3. roommate: My brother, but he shouldn't count
_______ Today ________
1. What are you doing now: Typing still, and drinking more water
2. Tonight: I'll be watching Role Models with my brother
3. Wearing: Boxers, and my daddy's t-shirt
4. What did you eat for lunch: Nothing
_______ Tomorrow ________
1. Is: Monday
2. Got any plans: I might hang out with Becky!
3. Goal: I dunno
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: It's Monday, what is there to like? Well, besides the fact there's no school.
5. Likes about tomorrow: There's no school and I might get to try Beaver Buzz!
He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Starting making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days
I just finished reading and watching Norbit!
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs
ATL is a kick a$$ band.
Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
Dwarfs aren't all happy-go-lucky, they will kill you in your sleep.
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me
My best friend's a unicorn named Sparky.
And even though she doesn't believe in love
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
I have an imaginary dog named Scruffy. He's a vicious chihuahua.
Waking the neighbors
Unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside
Here's a tip; if you hear screaming, grunting, and some girl yelling 'Help! He's raping me!', rape is happening. Don't let some sweet old guy down the street fool you with candy.
Man, I am never doing that again.
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me
Niley's gay. No offense to any of their fans!
The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
I wonder if Nelly Furtado really eats men. If so, that's cannibalism! And that's frowned upon in a lot of places.
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, whoever she may be
The Backstreet Boys will never come back. No matter what they say.
I'm not coming back (forgive me)
I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling)
But you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
Now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm)
Washing you out of my hair
Ever wonder where sexy went in Justin Timberlake's song "I'm Bringing Sexy Back'? Yea, me too.
And out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world
From so many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now
I'm at home in the clouds
And towering over your head
Alivn and The Chipmunks are ma home dawgs.
Well I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home
Don't let squirrels fool you. They'll bite your nose off.
No joke.
Song: Remembering Sunday - All Time Low
