Should I bite my tongue until blood soaks my shirt? Never fall apart so tell me why this hurts so much, My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you, But still we'll say, "Remember when", Just like we always do, just like we always do.
July 25, 2009
Time: 3:25PM
Mood: Miserable
Music: Story Of The Year - Until The Day I Die
Sometimes I really do hate being a girl. I've cried so much today and last night. Last night because my dad banned me from my best friends house because of poor cell phone reception. He blames me.
Today because my mom's making me choose who I want to live with if or when my mom and dad get a divorce. And then two more times, one because I'm just overly emotional right now and another because I got really frustrated and just broke down.
But, then again; it was bound to happen. I just didn't think it'd happen so soon.
I really want to get out of my house for a couple of days. I was going to go to this BBQ with Becca, but I couldn't because it's in Steinback. And my dad pulled all the "what if"s on me.
I don't want to live a fucking careful life. Screw fucking careful. Sure, if you're walking on the edge of a cliff, you should be careful. When you're first learning how to skateboard, be careful.
But I wanna take a few risks at least. Shitfuck.
The weirdest band name I've heard; Big Blue Monkey. Story Of The Year used to call themselves that, but then they found out a blues group had the same name. It wasn't changed until 2002.
Yesterday when I was with Drew, Becca, and Maggie there was this guy in a yellow car (Not a very good one, BTW) and he kept staring at us and like, giggling. Then he told his friend, so they were giggling together and just staring.
I was just about to give them my trusty, 'ole middle finger. And Drew was just about to yell "Fuck you!".
My grounding end tomorrow, and so does my debt. Therefore, I will be free to spend my money as I chose and go to sleepovers/ have them. I really wanna rent Haunting In Connecticut then invite Dew and Becca to sleepover then watch it.
We have ice cream. Yummy.
I think I just bounced back. I'm wearing short shorts. Feels good.
I'm off.
Spray Paint &&Pencil Sharpeners
xo.xo
Jess <3<3
