Okay, so, I don't give a shit if nobody reads this, I just really need to get this off my chest and my trusty, old journal just won't do it for me.

I have a best friend. Well, we just got into highschool and she completely changed. I feel like whenever I talk to her, I annoy her. I opened up to this girl and she listened to me. Which not many people do and it felt good! Just to talk to somebody who listened for once.

She didn't brush me off like I didn't matter, she didn't call me stupid for what I did, she didn't get mad at me, she didn't give me a one worded answer before going on and talking about herself. She tried to help. And she did, just by listening. We hung out all the time. Like, every weekend. Not even exaggerating. Her family considered me family, both my parents knew and liked her, and she got along so well with my brother. Which is rare.

I thought I could tell her everything that was bothering me any time and she could talk to me about anything as well. And I did and she could and it was good. I had a best friend. A genuine best friend. Then grade 9 rolls along and she meets new friends. Which is cool with me. I'm not harboring any jealous feelings and I am in no way clingy, but we rarely talk anymore, let alone hang out. She's too busy hanging with them now.

At first, it was like, 'okay, she has new friends, that's fine with me', then she started blowing me off for these friends. Her supposed best friend. Honestly, I feel like we're not even best friends anymore, I feel like we're more of acquaintances. One time, I tried talking to her about how I was feeling and she just, I don't know, didn't care. It sucked. Now she's all about her new friends and on the rare occasion we do hang out, she always talks about her new friends. I feel like I've been side-lined, or just completely taken off the court. I can't talk to her the way I used to. I have friends, people to hang out with outside of school, but she was my best friend. And yeah, okay, I admit I've done this to some of my friends too but I never actually knew how it felt until now and it sucks shit. I owe those people a huge apology.

Well, that's it for my rant. And on a side note, I'm pissed at my mom because I ordered some clothes and she was supposed to be here to sign for them while I was away at school learning shit about fucking canadian citizenship from my bitchy social teacher and then she goes out and buys herself some lancome shit. Honestly. I was really looking forward to wearing them tomorrow because I paid for them with my paycheck. Which I have never done before! The least she could have done was sign the motherfucking box so I could gush and coo over how soft my motherfucking Obey sweater was. Okay. Now I'm done.