So, another St. Patrick's Day successful in gorging me with corned beef, cabbage, skin mashed potatoes, Irish potatoes, scones and soda. A few highlights, if I may:
- The Annual Smith Family Gift Exchange
From what I hear, some people call this the Chinese Auction. However, we proud Smiths (yep, that's my last name. As Irish as it gets) stole it from the Chinese, flooded the pile with Irish paraphernalia, and had an awesome time. From it humble beginnings four years ago, I have always had the best of luck when picking good gifts, which began with a t-shirt that looks like a green tuxedo. Since then, I wear my trophy proud every St. Patricks gathering, taunting my competition. I know you wanted this shirt, Uncle Bob. Well, too bad. It fits me oh so nicely and, dare I say, increases exponentially my Irish swag. So, this year comes along, and I'm sitting upon a chair, treating it like the throne of luck. My position was 16th to choose. Not bad, certainly opens up some options, a lot revealed. There was a chance to walk away with all four Leprechaun movies on DVD, a set of 6 drink glasses, a green t-shirt (wait, already have one AND I'M WEARING IT, SUCKERS!), or even a box of Thin Mints, which just recently went out of season. So I get up from my lucky pimp chair and, like a boss, stroll over and pick up an unwrapped gift. A small gasp hushes over the crowd. My glory hangs in the balance of the unknown. Open it up. Chocolate gold coins. Eh, could've been...wait, hold the shamrock shakes. What is this? Chocolate gold bars as well? I hit the jackpot. I win. Everyone can go home now, because you can't touch this. I took the yellow mesh packaging and tossed it up and down like a British orphan who just knicked it. Oi blimey, I think I be airlocked in me noggin, because I just the MOTHERLODE.
Also, the chocolate didn't give me a case of instant diabetes from being too sweet but were oh so delicious being imported from the Netherlands, so bonus.
- First time in a bar on St. Patrick's Day
Lesson one from being in a bar on St. Patrick's Day: If you are going to be in a bar on St. Patrick's Day, make sure you are of-drinking age as it is the law and being only one of two sober people in a crowd of raucous Irish-blooded Philadelphia area purists completely blows, especially when you are only twenty. Lesson two from being in a bar on St. Patrick's Day: Learn to know when to cut your parents off and leave the building, especially your mother. We all know she's not an alcoholic, but she's tone-deaf and is trying to sing "Wild Rover" at the top of her lungs. Lesson three from being in a bar on St. Patrick's Day: Even if they insist on driving, you drive home. We made it home okay, but they had Guinness enough to poison a toy dog. With age comes recreated limitations, and with the future, I have to be the sober one, which defeats the purpose of going to the bar in the first place.
So, lesson learned: Never go along with your mother's idea to go to a bar when your under-aged. It's clear she's trying to relive something and wants to go bar-hopping because to her the night is young. Meanwhile, my eyes are burning from the body heat and I can only take so many sticky floors and so much tone-deaf Danny Boy. Rather, arrive at a bar of-age on St. Patrick's Day knowing who your designated driver is. That way, everyone gets some alcohol in their system, burns it off to a point, gets to sing with the worst of them, and has a good time without vehicular disaster.
I would've stayed at that bar for one reason, though. Japan was playing Puerto Rico in the World Baseball Classic. Being a Japan team sports fan (Go Samurai!), I really wanted to watch. Just as I settled in as they introduced Kazuo Matsui as the second baseman, it was time to go and we don't get MLB Network at home, so no dice.
- Drunk Livestreams are Best Livestreams
So, I arrive home at 9:30, get into my PJs and finish up the last story of the Anime News of the Week, when I decide to look at YouTube for updates. Who should be doing a livestream but PodTaku. Completely sloshed. Gigguk, Arkada, Holden, and xDisturbedJeans decided to get wasted on the cheapest liquor they could find and speak on camera live. It was glorious, really a once in a lifetime moment. I rushed to tell theOtaku Community Boards, but I suppose the reviewers weren't as famous because not one person knew what I was talking about. So let me give you a rundown of what was discussed, drunkenly mind you:
- Why Gigguk became a monk for a week
- Favorite hentai of all time
- Favorite harem of all time
- Who would win in a fight between the four of them (It was decided Gigguk would win using his martial arts and mathematic skills, given his Asian heritage)
- Who was most drunk (Again, Gigguk won this. Holden is only 19, Jeanne didn't get the drinking memo, Arkada is apparently immune to intense alcohol consumption and received only a light buzz, and Gigguk drunk half a bottle of "something" and laughed the entire time)
- Who had the longest hair of the guys (Arkada was the only one of could make a ponytail)
- How the four of them came into contact with each other.
- Why Jeans loved Chihayafuru when the other three thought it average
- Best anime to watch stoned (My vote goes to Gurren Lagann)
- Best anime to watch naked (My vote goes to Gurren Lagann)
- Would they actually save the evidence of the drunken livestream
Sadly, dear children, the answer to the last one was no, as the video was promptly deleted. So sorry you guys missed it, but if you would be so loving and kind as to check out all four of these wonderful people, as they deserve the love. Drunk love, that is.
So, that was my unorthodox St. Patrick's Day. What did I take away from it? Love the people around you. Love your ancestors. Most importantly of all, love the ones to make life interesting.
Erin go bragh
~hisaishi
