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I have been getting loads of homework recently because my school doesn't believe in breaks (unless breaks mean breaks from tests? But it doesn't mean breaks from presentations or papers).

I am on my break the week after next and yeahh...way too much I gots no free time.

But tonight I ditched socializing to watch some dramas and I just realized I should probably post about this one here since this something I've probably been going on about for years that I've always wanted to go to Japan, of course.


Next year I get to study abroad in JAPAN~ :D I get to see mah friends again and go shoppin' and buy some real clothes~ (Not kids clothes...for that is what I wear...;orz). I also plan on cutting my hair the style that I want it that American hairstylist people just don't understand for some reason. When I say cut my hair like the picture I would like my hair cut like the picture, that doens't mean give me a trim....O.o; What the heck America??? (Or just cheap hair cutting places and the few salons I've been to)

I am trying my best not to get too excited, but it's not really working since it's already invaded my dreams. It makes it difficult to concentrate on the now...AKA homework.

Yep...but as you can see my brain is not currently working right now and only wants to consume romantic dramas right now...sooo...yeah...can't say much right now. Definitely dead after a week of really hard exams in classes that I can't understand (Economics does not work in my brain).

Oh! There's something to talk about! I just need to get stuff off my chest right now and rant 'n stuff...

I think it's just because I stressed because of my classes but I've been hating people a lot recently. I feel like everyone thinks I'm an idiot because I don't understand Chemistry or Economics (economics especially since this is a first level class) like they do. I am also an Art Major, and that doesn't seem to mean much to anyone.

I've been getting especially annoyed by my friends quoting 'art majors' to argue with me. Excuse me? Am I not an art major as well? Does my opinion not matter but some random 'art major' you met does matter? Also for some reason my friends have been majorly criticizing my doodles for no reason...O.o; I don't's like they are trying their best to say that I am an idiot and not a real art major or something. Like they were asking who my favourite artists were and then judging me about that...O.o; I like most artists, why do I have to have a specific and obscure favourite. I just gave them Leyendecker, I guess he is slightly obscure, but there are too many artists that I like I really can't just show off my 'art major' status with names of some French guys...

They were asking of the masters...and like....seriously...anybody who knows about the masters know they are MASTERS. They are amazing artists each with their own styles and major skills. Leonardo had his own anatomy style different than Michelangelo's and I like them both a lot, but I don't feel like I could really compare because their styles are so different to me.

Also I often recommend movies and anime to people and nobody ever watches what I recommend them (except for a few of my friends who don't really influence the group). I like having inside jokes about anime or movies that I like. I do that with my brother and my roommate, since we usually watch the same movies and anime. Then recently one of my friends got everyone to watch a movie that he liked and then everyone declared him the movie person since all the movies he's recommended were good. What? You never watched the movies I recommended? What the heck?! And then somebody else was the anime person. She got my friends to read yaoi and watch yaoi shows...Why is she the anime person???? I write research papers about anime and manga and I have written some manga myself and taken classes on it and I am not the anime/manga person?? Nobody cares about my opinions about things I care about...

It really pisses me off...

Maybe I am just feeling insecure about not being able to understand Economics at all...since everyone else in my class seems to understand it pretty well and lots of my friends are Economics majors and apparently it is the easiest class at my school. But I think the teacher I chose was harder on the students than the other teachers, thus the reputation of it being easy...But brain does not want to understand Economics....;m;

They've also been talking to me a lot like I am their pet or some sort of weirdo...O.o; I guess my interests are slightly eccentric...but I dunno...I don't know if I want to be friends with people who look down on my interests...I have become a joke to them and I am unable to have any deep conversations. This may just be because they usually just want to relax and joke and hang out.

I also really hate hanging out. It makes me feel so stressed out. I enjoy talking, but not hanging out. I could be dancing, drawing, practicing Japanese, writing manga, anything but no, they want me to 'hang out'.

Also I just learned about one of my 'friends' using 'negging' on me...O.o; Or that's what my other friends called it. I had a slightly open hearted conversation about being stressed and stuff and how I want to have deeper conversations with people, but they just want to make jokes and then he said 'See, you aren't an idiot.'

When did I ever say I was an idiot?

I am very sensitive about being thought of as an idiot. I think most people probably are. I like my image of an intelligent person, but I break it down and be silly with friends because we have different areas of expertise and I am not perfect and have not memorized all the terms in the world.

I try my best to not really talk about anything because somebody always tells me I am wrong or say I am saying something really far-fetched and ughh... Maybe I just have communication problems I don't know...but people...I don't want to talk to them's too stressful...

Also my only friends in my chemistry class think I am the biggest idiot ever when it comes to chemistry. Every time I work with them in a group they keep telling me I am wrong and that the oldest girl has the right answer and then I ask the professor and it turns out I was right all along and then they apologize to me. This happens every time.

Another time, by the advice of my professor, I asked my friends if we could meet and discuss the chapters in order to study because you really know your stuff if you can have a conversation about it or explain it to somebody else, so I thought it would be helpful for everyone if we explained what we thought some of the concepts were and to say it in our own words.

But INSTEAD they thought that I needed HELP on it.

No, that was not the original plan.

As they saw I did know the content and the 'help' seemed pretty pointless. Yes, it was pointless. I wasn't asking for 'help'. Why did they think I needed help if they didn't think I was an idiot?

I have been thinking really hard recently about what friends are and I don't know what they are anymore.

I don't think I enjoy having friends that I know that well because then I depend on them for things that they end up never doing like inviting me to play table top rpgs or just talking with me for more than 30 minutes even though I cut out a lot opportunities to talk to famous artists in order to hang out with them longer and I just sit alone in my apartment, or eating dinner with me on my birthday, or even just y'know including me in that fact that you are eating out somewhere else on my birthday and won't be able to eat dinner with me, or letting me borrow your umbrella so that my laptop doesn't drown in the rain...just things I thought friends would do...

I guess nobody is perfect...

I DO know I have a habit of getting really upset at people the more I hang out with them. I think it's mainly just that I am tired to seeing them every day and I am at my limit of socializing with those particular friends...


Sorry for the long rant...I think I am done now...

Recently I have been writing down random ideas I get at random times! Hopefully I will get into the habit of writing these in manga form since most of them are short story ideas. I want to be able to show short concise scenes with a lot of emotion so that if I make the story longer then each chapter will be powerful and I can put meaning into each page so that the story won't be so flat.

I'll just give you my ideas for the heck of it! Maybe they will inspire you as well (I have a lot more written down in notecards and napkins in my pocket but I haven't organized anything so these are the only ones I could find so far):

Reverse Harem #1
Girl who is a like a play boy getting all the boys and flaunting them in front of friends.

Reverse Harem #2
Girl who isn't interested in romance is raided by typical romantic characters types. Tries to put them off on other girls instead of herself.

Guy who is outside of the harem

*Girl who can see success and help guys to their success that she likes. She always pushes them to a place she can't reach so that they can reach their dreams. She does this for many guys, but there is only one guy who doesn't want to be separated from her.

*Person/robot who acts as an average of all the feelings or decisions of the people in a room.

*the smallest particle is the largest space. The world is like a loop ever shrinking and growing. There is not a biggest or smallest (This one makes sense to me! XD It probably makes no sense to anyone else though...XD)


I'll end this with a nice song:




I totally forgot about theO around the time of my birthday! SO SOWWYYY!! TT^TT

Also this term was quite busy...I was surprised. All I did was read manga, watch anime, and read about manga and anime. But it was surprisingly a lot of work...leik I had to rad all 7 volumes of Nausicaa in two days. Technically 1 day, but I knew that was impossible so I read before it was assigned. it's one of my favourite mangas of all time. Holy crap. I didn't like the anime that much because I wanted more, and I got more, and it's basically all my favourite Hayao Miyazaki movies combined except for the pretteh pretteh imagery of Castle in the Sky.

I also understand Miyazaki and Kon Satoshi more as artists and what their films are saying. Also I know how to properly analyze anime~ YAAAY! I would like to do this some time in the future~ ;D Something I be talkin' lots about...

Although I have pretteh low expectations when it comes to scholarly writing about anime and manga so I keep wanting to make videos or something that would entertain and spread the word of treating anime and manga as art forms....*shrugs*

Sorry, went off on a tangent.

I have been on break for a while now and haven't been on because I was pretty much dead. Before my birthday I went out to eat with a ton of friends, then I worked all day the next day on manga for my class, and then on my actual birthday I went to a master class for dance with the Paul Taylor Dance Company...and by the way I suck at I thought this was a good idea, which it was, just it was EXTREMELY HARD. Especially since I haven't practiced dancing since fall semester...;orz So the next day....actually all last week my body hurt like hell and I could barely move my legs...had ta walk like a robot for days...;3;

And I was so exhausted for that period of time I didn't want to do anything so I just watched random videos on youtube, tried reading some Jojo, played some video games here and there, and hung out with one of my friends.

Now I am here!


I totally forgot about you guys on my birthday 'cause my birthday (actual day) since it was celebrated on a different day, really sucked...I think next year I have to tell my friends that although I enjoy having my birthday celebrated, I would rather celebrate it on my birthday even if it might be hard or extremely small just because birthdays are the days when I am most sensitive....O.o;

Basically my friends, I guess they thought since they celebrated already, they didn't need to celebrate that day, so they all went out to eat and didn't tell me. Luckily I have more friends than them and got to eat dinner with those guys, but really hurt my feelings and I felt like nobody cared.

But seeing all of these comments and gifts and stuff now, even though I didn't do it on my actual birthday, it still makes me feel extremely happy that you guys cared enough to do all that stuff! TT^TT

Okay, enough thanking and stuff...

Just an update on what I've been doing besides school. I have a manga that I did for my class which is 8 pages on done traditionally...which means the scanner messed it up to crapville...;orz And then the first chapter of my webcomic which needs to be cleaned up and translated...

Because of my experience with traditional manga I hath fallen in love! Although I can't tell if this is because I have been doing digital all this time and can see all the problems with digital mangoes or what, but it just feel SO MUCH EASIER! TT^TT And because my digital mangoing skills I can clean up any mistakes on the computer~ ;D So I can still combine digital and traditional~

I also have a G-pen and guys...this pen is AMAZING! Plus the ink is....JUST...SO...BLAAACCCKKK! *3* I love it~

I want to do more traditional mangoes~ I also have lots more paper so that can happen~

The paper I got is deleter manga paper A4 (I think...this is the size I usually use on the computer...sooo...I think I tried to get something that matched). It erases like the gods and is oh so smooottthhhh~ X3

I can do manga on other paper, but that stuff is the best. I will probably do manga on different paper in the end, though! XD

I think I need more different kinds of tools for mangoing....but that'll be then...when I get to the point when I want different tools.

It's like with use the same stuff every day and then that time that you run out you decide to buy different stuff and maybe something else?

Also...this is actually pretty stupid...but I have the habit of typing up new ideas on a writing program then saving it as 'story idea' or something random but not clear in the slightest so I decided to just make them all one document and this has been a life saver because now I am able to put random ideas in it whenever I feel like it~ :D

Uhh...yeah...question here is why I never thought to do that earlier since that's just common sense...but now I can see I have tons of different ideas~ Maybe I will start being able to organize them some more by genre or something (though the idea of most of these ideas is to flip the genre around or something)....

Since I want to make this post super long for no reason...let's go onto random topics about vidya games since that's what I be doing~



I played this minigame with my friend for leik 4 HOURS when she came to my house. We couldn't find Smash Bros Brawl so we just played Pokemon Stadium and HOLY CRAP is this game addicting. Why is it addicting? Because you have to use strategy in order to win the game...'cause CPUs...;3;

You are supposed to get the most expensive meal by eating whatever they bring out. There is a hierarchy of expensive foods and some food give you food poisoning or are too hot to eat, so you have to be careful. Also the other CPUs plus players always want the most expensive foods.

The trick here is that you also get combos from eating the same foods in a row so if you eat the same food the entire time you might end up with thousands. But other players might see this strategy so you can move them out of the way...and GAIZ IT IS JUST SO FREAKING ADDICTING! TT^TT

Next we have...

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Which is Genji: Dawn of the Samurai. I bought it a long time ago, played it for like 10 minutes, stopped, played some other game. But I decided it looked pretty so I would play it again...

AND IT LOOKS SO PRETTY ASODNIDNGIUDFNGBIUDHFISNGDGDF is this...why is it so pretty? But I stopped playing because I died...and also I read that I am pretty much at the middle and I've only been playing for an hour...;3;

But lemme tell you why I love it:

-bootiful (already established)

-the gameplay is simple, but can be difficult enough and still fun. Unlike some hack and slash type games that are poorly made (there are some out there..or just some that aren't supposed to be but are hella boring anyway) it feels like I am in total control of my character. I can attack to the front. Somebody behind me? Back flip and hit them. It is just so smooothhh...*3*

-You can hit arrows from bowmen back and kill them. WOOAHH! I didn't realize that I could do that. So all this time it was turning black and white was 'cause I was hitting the enemy before they could hit me....*3* I feel like they told you this at the beginning, but now I have more appreciation for this game.

-When you change armor or weapon IT. ACTUALLY. CHANGES. I think this is something that should ALWAYS happen in EVERY game. I say it's a fail on the gamer maker's part if they do not do this. I am usually only interested in the aesthetics of games, so this tickles me fancy when I see it actually happening.

-Last thing, this game was made in 2005 and it is 2015 and it is still amazing to me.

'course this is coming from a person who normally plays n64, nes, snes, gamecube , gamebody, gamebody advanced, and ps2 games normally...and who's most recent game in possession is a ps2 game...But seriously...I like graphics to as much as the console or developer wants to go, I am okay with really polygon-y graphics, as long as there is a good color choice.

But I don't solely play games for the graphics, I also love to play them for the ACTUAL GAME. Story is okay, usually pretteh bad, but the gameplay is why I play 'em and Genji's got some bootiful gameplay and some bootiful graphics.

It made me think that I'd love to play a game that is mixture of strategy and hack and slash.

In my head I see two modes you can play in, but at different times to do different things. Say you play the commander of some army, so you start off battling as solo in a hack and slash thing, then as you get a bigger army you do more strategy moves, then you can go in and kill the commander through some sort of adventure hack and slash thing. And all the while you can still run around through the battlefield to collect stuff...

herm....collecting things...

Okay so you'll be like a demon god and your minions collect the dead bodies and any extra armor or stuff they find??? :D

I also got another idea for vidyagames! Have some game like the lickitung thing or just really fun, but also really easy at the very beginning or in some area where you are supposed to feel stuck or as if you are in heaven...just some kind of heaven for gamers at least...and then be all like 'Now ya gotta leave' at some random point so then it actually feels like you are leaving heaven.

Do stuff like that with gamers. I never could connect with characters who enter some situation that is comfortable and then they're all like 'No, we gotta leave' and understand how huge that choice is...because it is.

Or maybe it's an area where you can play lots of other different games, and then suddenly the game is all like 'You have to leave'

But in order to be nice to the gamer, after they beat the game, or by some sort of difficult side-quest, you can play those games outside the actual game.

Yep, I think that's a good idea in meh opinion.

I also really like japanese fantasy games. I love medieval fantasy games, but the setting doesn't really make feel excited....

I still like my Tengu adventure idea...I need to figure out how to make games on Linux (not what it's for) and then maybe I can live out this dream! *3* (Because it was really a dream to begin with, and now I want to do it in real life~)

Okay, I think this post is long enough! XD

Here's some good moozix fo ya troubles:



But I am very close.

And by done I mean with the first chapter~


Here is a preview pic and example of why I am not done:

Certain parts of this are not supposed to be coloured...;orz

Also no text!

I realized that I don't know any sfx in japanese or english...O.o; Just like basic sound effects, but not how to use them. Like what is boom? And I know dokidoki, but I ain't wrai-tan no shoujo mango.

So I need to borrow my friend to help me with that. I also need to figure out a good way to put in text into the speech bubbles. I figured out a better way to the do the speech bubbles, but I decided not to do that on any of the speech bubbles.

I would also like to post this on pixiv as well as random western site of my choosing (probs smackjeeves) so I would like to to be in English and Japanese, so I also need help with that.

But the good news is that everything has been drawn! Now I just need to add text and fix some problem areas.

I think I will do somewhere like two pages a week or something...O.o; Or one page a week? Depending on how the first week goes...

I actually already have a few more chapters written, they just need to be drawn...Which...will take forever as well...

But I think it's getting easier and I am getting faster. I did 3 pages today plus school and long hours of talking to friends. So I think that shows some improvement. I feel like if I try and get into the habit of doing a page a day or so then I will get better and better. Right now my stuff is really amateurish, but I see potential (in meh own stuff) because sometimes I get the anatomy spot on, but it's a bit too realistic...So I just need to practice more, and what better way to practice than to just keep on chugging along wit dis?

I also have to write a manga for my class right now and I want to write a manga for the Silent Manga contest which is quite hard this year since I rarely write any stories with motherhood as the subject. I love my mom, but I never want to be one so I never thought about what it means to be a mother...Maybe I should talk to my professor about this....

The manga I have to do for class has to have a shoujo...and I wanted to write about an executioner. I might just do that on the side for the heck of it! XD The shoujo I am thinking about doing a short version of another idea, one of the IHY stories, or a short story about one of the female characters in my webcomic since she isn't your average shoujo character and I'd like to use her more.

Welp, that 'tis an update. I is pooped and I is satisfied...:D



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I am very bad at drawing poses. I was just attempting to draw energetic poses but they all look like somebody is falling or messed up, so I enhanced one of the doodles with speed lines so they did look like they were falling down! XD

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For that OC december thing which I never did...I drew an antagonist and a really old OC Hyojin Tzu. Then I drew peeps from Idolling 'cause yeah. I realized that I don't actually have any antagonists, it was really difficult finding one. Most of the antagonists of my stories are the protagonist themselves...or maybe the situations or choices are bad...but usually there isn't one bad guy trying to ruin them.

So for my antagonist I chose the secret main character of a story I keep telling myself I am going to write but the laaazzeee....;orz

Drew pics of singer from Sakanaction while watching the music video:

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I thought his outfit looked cool so I couldn't help but draw him.

I actually have more of him on the other page but I forgot to take a picture of it...but oh wellzzz...:D

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Some character designing for my webcomic. Trying to understand Seiichi as a full character....

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Stuff I did in the car on Monday on the way to mah grammie's house (I don't actually call her that! XD). Just some new character designs and redesigns of old characters. I have had them in my head for a while, I just wanted to see what they looked like again.

Welp, das it gaiz!

I was planning on doing my nails now...but I accidentally bought washable kids paint instead of acyrlic paint and now I am sad and dun wanna paint my nails...;m; Maybe I will go play some games or sometin' I dunno. Tomorrow I will work on more mangoes and do some shopping, some laundry, maybe then I will get some acrylics and do my nails~ ;D

I go back to school on Tuesday...but it's all good 'cause it's ANIME AND MANGA CLASS! Woot! Supah excited wit mah favourite professor and all~ WOOT!

Oh yeah, I just moved back into my dorm today! It feels really empty because my roommate transferred to another college and now I have the room to myself...which is actually quite sad. I like having a roommate..;3; But now I can have a couch and more space to spread out my stuff! :D I organized my makeup and nail stuffs too and omigosh! Just realized I can buy stuff on amazon with a gift card. Gonna go do that!

Getting excited talking about all the things I can do right now~ I dislike being in my house because it's small and cramped, but I feel like I have so much space right now. To be honest it's just a problem of table space, not really walking space or anything...

But yeah, I'll stop talking here. Post is already waaaayyy too long.


SKATCHES!!! Numbah Uno

'cause sketches has an 'a' in it. Yes it does, don't deny it! >:0

Since I just discovered I have batteries in my desk I have a lot of pics to go through so I will have two sketch dump posts.

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Nostalgia~ *3* I just felt like drawing nostalgic things. It all started with the kirby. Then I was thinking about all the other stuff I was obsessed with when I was younger so then I drew some more kirby stuff (because that's what I first drew when I was little. NONSTOP KIRBY). Then after that phase I remember being obsessed with Evolution Worlds. The only stuff in my diary was about Evolution Worlds and all the stories I wrote at the time were with the Evolution Worlds characters. So I tried drawing Linear and Yurka in my style. I really like drawing Yurka and I kind of want to draw him some more. At the bottom is Heero Yuy and Tsugaru. Tsugaru was one of the bad guys in one of the Tenchi Muyo series. He's a pretty minor character but he just LOOK SO COOL! ;3;

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I think I just continued drawing fanart-y stuff that I've been wanting to draw. Tried drawing Rokuro from Deadman Wonderland...for some reason I thought his hand was over his eye...hence the 'wurt'...'cause it's supposed to be on his neck...;orz

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Mads Mikkelsen!! I drew him in 5 minutes before my art class. I was feeling down about my inability to draw the face like the model so I tried drawing Mads and I think I did pretteh okay wit it.

The bottom couple is an illustration of my friends' alter egos. The one with darkened eyes is Mr. Flowers a Ukrainian mob boss and my other friend is his prostitute. Don't ask. My friends make no sense. The weirdest part about it is that they requested this drawing and didn't expect it to be borderline yaoi. I mean, with that it definitely screams yaoi typical pairing...XD

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Was listening to pokemon moozix hence the pic 'o Gary. I also tried drawing Tamamori Yuta.

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Berserk stuffs. Also tried drawing Andrea Cavalcanti...need to work on that. Trying to branch out into manlier men. Or pretty manly men...if that makes any sense?

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Seiichi! Peeps! OMAIGAH! And then some notes on what ta do in mah manga...pretteh boring page 'cept for the da fact that it's in pencil and I rarely use pencil. For once I was like 'wonder what it feels like to draw with a pencil' Then I remembered it smudges so I stopped that.

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Character designs for a one shot. Not sure where I am going with the designs, but I felt I had to put something down.

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This is technically the oldest the chronology of pages in this post. When I felt like drawing nostalgic stuff. I drew Aka and Wakusei. My two marysue characters from long ago that I drew all the time.

I tried drawing some chibis...need to work on that some moar.

I saw these two guys at my school and I thought they looked super cool so I tried drawing them and it didn't work out. They weren't particularly good looking, just their style and looks weren't anything I had seen before.

I also read something about how if when you write your words lean left and right in the middle of the words then you have some sort of schizophrenia. It's total bullocks but I do have my letters leaning different ways when I write. Writing is just such a struggle for me, even if I try to write cleanly I always end up having some kind of shock of confusion and can't finish the cleaniless of the writing. I dunno..writing is a weird uncomfortable feeling for me.

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This was going to be finished and it was going to be a Happy Halloween thing, but I only gave myself an hour to do it so I didn't end up finishing it...;orz It is a pic with some of my many characters like Seiichi in a dress and Klan being normal and Hisoka being cute and Tadao playing with Seiichi and Ana with a dress on and Poe doing her thang. Yap....I should finish it eventually anyway.

But this is the reason I didn't do any holiday pics this year 'cause I ended up not having enough time for this pic so I didn't find time for the other ones...

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CAPED BALDY! I love love LOVE One Punch Man! The story is awesome, the art is just sooo so perfect and I am extremely in love with this manga. So I drew some Saitama 'cause he's supah easy to draw.

This was drawn during a study break thing my school was having during finals. They gave us crayons and colouring book pages, but I just decided to draw my on stuff 'cause I don't really like to colour.

I drew Mr. Flowers again as well as some Griffith (really terribly drawn) and a winged walrus with a flowing mane...O.o; As requested by one of my friends. I also drew one of my friends while she as colouring in the top left corner.


Ran out of pic space on this post so I will be making another post soon with the rest of what I haven't posted on here!