Well, looks like I still got the help I needed because the last couple of days have been good...I started praying again, and I hope I continue doing so. I still have a lot of frustration inside of me but all in good time.
Have I ever flattered you? Of all the people I have been talking to these days, only your your words have some understanding...Or, maybe its because you know so much about me, you know how to deal with me? Rest assured, its not flattery Kyle.
Sleep Well!
1- Good analogy.
2- I disbelieve in what you say about novels and anime, you speak fondly of novels because whenever books are involved you get truly intrigued. I know you want to study to become a teacher because you hate dumb stuff like me. I think you like anime because you like things that help you escape reality, quite like myself.
3- Well we're in the same boat, so don't jump off, just enjoy the ride to the portside.
That's a lie you need to stop trying to make yourself believe. If you really felt that way, then why are we having this conversation?! Despair is silent, never spoken.
1-My brother and I are like distant friends, who meet once in a while watch a movie together, and go their separate ways.
2-I don't think anything gives me comfort. I read novels to pass time, I study to impress my parents, I watch anime and movies because my brother tells me to. I trash talk with my friends at college because that is required.
3-I don't know what to say about this point. You have told me this a lot of times, but I don't stand up for myself.
Its all my fault Kyle, I don't think I want to make my life better. I think I just want to die. Or not live, just go numb or something, unfeeling.
Well I respect you on the don't trust anyone motto that I try so hard to live by, but I think that's part of your conundrum.
1- How is your status with your brother? He should be more protective of you, at least, that's what I've been told, so if he helps it won't be so hard.
2- Do you have faith in anything? I don't say that to be condescending or aggravated, I really want to know if there is anything you can find comfort and closure in? Because it should be key to your faith in God, because the first thing people say to excuse their disbelief is "There is so much bad I can't believe that there is anything that is good."
3- Don't let anyone boss you around, something is wrong if they are still getting physical with you.
I'm so afraid though. I don't have the strength to do it...Some of my college friends are telling me that praying will fix everything and urging me to pray, but then, I can't seem to do that either. I am really stuck in a rut. I feel like I'm in a battle from all sides.
And, it hurts more since my brother can talk to my dad about anything, I have seen them, but whenever I say anything they just misunderstand and end up shouting at me or hitting me. Even my brother. I don't trust anyone, not my family, not God, no one.
No, there isn't. We don't talk at all at home. I have especially gone silent. I just don't talk anymore. I get scolded 3, 4 times a day and I remain quiet. I don't see how it'll help, talking has ended up quite badly in the past.
Have you told them any of this? It seems like there's a lot of internalizing on both parties, considering there isn't much of an exchange of words, so I feel like there's not enough being said to progress the situation into a better direction.
My mum has started treating me like I'm a boarder and not her own daughter. She hates making me breakfast, and never puts in any effort. Most of the time I am doing her part of the chores cus either she's not at home or she doesn't bother and a few days a ago she lent me some money and then asked back for it, although she knows I don't earn myself. And, my Dad just keeps telling me to be considerate of her.
I think my parents hate me...Especially my mum is showing all her stepmotherish qualities all at once these days and my dad keep covering up for her. I knew this time would come.
Hey Kyle. My internet is cut off these days. I'll be back in December.
Oh yeah, I'm with you there. Always do your homework before your body starts to laze. That is the most important thing...We all neglect it though I think. xD
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 12/02/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
Y'know I'm always praying for you, but we'll discuss the semantics of it sooner or later.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 12/01/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
Well, looks like I still got the help I needed because the last couple of days have been good...I started praying again, and I hope I continue doing so. I still have a lot of frustration inside of me but all in good time.
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/27/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
Well forgive me for being blunt, but if that's true you have some jacked up friends/family.
But then again, who doesn't?
I don't know you as much as you think I do. Our stories are similar in a way, so maybe that's it?
I slept LATE, so does that count?
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/27/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
Have I ever flattered you? Of all the people I have been talking to these days, only your your words have some understanding...Or, maybe its because you know so much about me, you know how to deal with me? Rest assured, its not flattery Kyle.
Sleep Well!
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/27/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
Please don't say that if you don't mean it, flattering me is dust.
I'm falling asleep, but we should continue this conversation.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/27/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
Kyle, you're knocking some sense into me. Thank you.
I feel like I have to turn things around, take everything slowly.
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/27/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
1- Good analogy.
2- I disbelieve in what you say about novels and anime, you speak fondly of novels because whenever books are involved you get truly intrigued. I know you want to study to become a teacher because you hate dumb stuff like me. I think you like anime because you like things that help you escape reality, quite like myself.
3- Well we're in the same boat, so don't jump off, just enjoy the ride to the portside.
That's a lie you need to stop trying to make yourself believe. If you really felt that way, then why are we having this conversation?! Despair is silent, never spoken.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
1-My brother and I are like distant friends, who meet once in a while watch a movie together, and go their separate ways.
2-I don't think anything gives me comfort. I read novels to pass time, I study to impress my parents, I watch anime and movies because my brother tells me to. I trash talk with my friends at college because that is required.
3-I don't know what to say about this point. You have told me this a lot of times, but I don't stand up for myself.
Its all my fault Kyle, I don't think I want to make my life better. I think I just want to die. Or not live, just go numb or something, unfeeling.
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
Well I respect you on the don't trust anyone motto that I try so hard to live by, but I think that's part of your conundrum.
1- How is your status with your brother? He should be more protective of you, at least, that's what I've been told, so if he helps it won't be so hard.
2- Do you have faith in anything? I don't say that to be condescending or aggravated, I really want to know if there is anything you can find comfort and closure in? Because it should be key to your faith in God, because the first thing people say to excuse their disbelief is "There is so much bad I can't believe that there is anything that is good."
3- Don't let anyone boss you around, something is wrong if they are still getting physical with you.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
I'm so afraid though. I don't have the strength to do it...Some of my college friends are telling me that praying will fix everything and urging me to pray, but then, I can't seem to do that either. I am really stuck in a rut. I feel like I'm in a battle from all sides.
And, it hurts more since my brother can talk to my dad about anything, I have seen them, but whenever I say anything they just misunderstand and end up shouting at me or hitting me. Even my brother. I don't trust anyone, not my family, not God, no one.
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
An issue I have, but maybe when you get the strength to break the silence before it breaks you, it could be a big step forward.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
No, there isn't. We don't talk at all at home. I have especially gone silent. I just don't talk anymore. I get scolded 3, 4 times a day and I remain quiet. I don't see how it'll help, talking has ended up quite badly in the past.
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
Have you told them any of this? It seems like there's a lot of internalizing on both parties, considering there isn't much of an exchange of words, so I feel like there's not enough being said to progress the situation into a better direction.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
My mum has started treating me like I'm a boarder and not her own daughter. She hates making me breakfast, and never puts in any effort. Most of the time I am doing her part of the chores cus either she's not at home or she doesn't bother and a few days a ago she lent me some money and then asked back for it, although she knows I don't earn myself. And, my Dad just keeps telling me to be considerate of her.
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
Ah, so its that time...
I'll have to face mine in the future so I don't know what to tell you now...I need some more detail.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
I think my parents hate me...Especially my mum is showing all her stepmotherish qualities all at once these days and my dad keep covering up for her. I knew this time would come.
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
How has everything gone haywire?
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Kazamas-Keyblade:
I just feel like hitting my head on the wall these days cus everything has gone haywire. Dx
Kazamas-Keyblade
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
I was wondering where you went off to, but I'll be patient.
Yeah, I really need to stop procrastinating.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 11/26/14 | Reply
Hey Kyle. My internet is cut off these days. I'll be back in December.
Oh yeah, I'm with you there. Always do your homework before your body starts to laze. That is the most important thing...We all neglect it though I think. xD