Ok little pre note before I write the story, (or copy paste from Word as it were)
This is for phantomgirl21's Sideways chalenge! Woot!
Thanks to the urging on the part of Beloved Blood here I am! ^-^
That said I hope I didn't miss any rules... >.> If I did... at least the challenge was good imagination fodder!
Um yeeesss anything else..?
um an OC... loosely (very loosely) off of a time I awoke crying from a dream
Ok that's it!
I wake up and I wonder why I suddenly awoke. It was a sound. But what sound..? I hear someone crying and it feels distant like a shadow of another world. Slowly I become more conscious and sit up in my bed. The moon creates a beam of light across my ceiling and suddenly I am completely awake. Tears are streaming down my face.
Huh? Why am I crying? I reach a hand towards my face and feel that its wet. All I know is that I am filled with an incredible feeling of loss. I double over my body shaking with uncontrollable sobs. I hug my arms as tight around myself as I’m able and I try to remember. What was it? It was something important. What did she say to me? She? Wait the memory is slipping in and out of my hands. It was definitely something that happened in my dream.
Shock. My Friend was there. She was telling me something. It was important. I shut my eyes tight and try to focus and try to call back what happened and the words she said to me. What was it?
I find my mind drifting back to how she was when I knew her, her smiling face and how she always looked sad when she thought nobody was looking. And instantly I feel regret. I’ve been forgetting about her, about Amanda. Slowly but surely the years have dulled the features of my friend.
My memories are empty whispers, just a blank face with a smile, just gaping eye sockets with purple eye shadow, just a disembodied hand reaching towards a ball. Weather worn and tattered. I don’t really have many memories of her at all. How well did I really know her that all that remains in my mind are vague ghosts? How could I have ever cared about her if my mind can remember crying over losing her more than talking to her? Why can I only remember hearing about her death rather than Amanda’s voice?
How selfish can I be?
Years. How many years has it been. I haven’t even thought about you lately or maybe even not at all. You’ve been shoved right out of my head and it’s my fault. Now you’re even dying in my memory. It’s losing you all over again and it hurts. Maybe if I could remember what you said… maybe… maybe you’d be alive in my mind once more. Amanda, what did you look like?
What did you say? Your voice, what was it like? I remember you were quiet… Or is that just my imagination creating an illusion? Even my dream of you was just a dream. Yet still I struggle in the dark and I try and I try… I won’t let you suffer death again.
Ah! I remember something. Its fuzzy but it is something. We were playing a game and I missed a shot. You looked me in the eye and we laughed. I remember. The sound was like small falling bells. It was the first time I ever really saw you smile and the first time I heard you laugh. And now I cry.
I cry because you laughed and I cry because even as I hold onto that moment I can feel it leaving. It’s my ball of light and it’s being eaten by the dark. I am not ready. I don’t want to let go and I don’t want to forget you. I need to remember what you told me! I need to know and even through my tears and desperation I know that eventually water slips between the cracks of fingers. No matter how tight I may grasp.
I lay back down in my bed and I hear a car pass by. A bar of artificial light crosses the ceiling breaking up the moonbeam. Just like that the spell is broken. I close my tired eyes to try to sleep and try to dream. Tears continue to slip between lids because I know I’ll never dream of you again.
What did you say?
You’re gone, just a forgotten dream. I fall asleep looking a sliver moonbeam. I awake and I have the unusual sensation that I just heard a tingling bell fall to the floor, and we’re watching sideways. Huh, we? Hmm must just be my imagination. I begin to prepare for the day.