Hello! This is my World...Here is where I will post my thoughts and stuff like that!!! If anything is labled a "Rant" thats what it is me going on and on about somthing I love or hate!!!!
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Ok little pre note before I write the story, (or copy paste from Word as it were)
This is for phantomgirl21's Sideways chalenge! Woot!
Thanks to the urging on the part of Beloved Blood here I am! ^-^
That said I hope I didn't miss any rules... >.> If I did... at least the challenge was good imagination fodder!
Um yeeesss anything else..?
um an OC... loosely (very loosely) off of a time I awoke crying from a dream
Ok that's it!
Enjoy!
~Tsu
I wake up and I wonder why I suddenly awoke. It was a sound. But what sound..? I hear someone crying and it feels distant like a shadow of another world. Slowly I become more conscious and sit up in my bed. The moon creates a beam of light across my ceiling and suddenly I am completely awake. Tears are streaming down my face.
Huh? Why am I crying? I reach a hand towards my face and feel that its wet. All I know is that I am filled with an incredible feeling of loss. I double over my body shaking with uncontrollable sobs. I hug my arms as tight around myself as I’m able and I try to remember. What was it? It was something important. What did she say to me? She? Wait the memory is slipping in and out of my hands. It was definitely something that happened in my dream.
Shock. My Friend was there. She was telling me something. It was important. I shut my eyes tight and try to focus and try to call back what happened and the words she said to me. What was it?
I find my mind drifting back to how she was when I knew her, her smiling face and how she always looked sad when she thought nobody was looking. And instantly I feel regret. I’ve been forgetting about her, about Amanda. Slowly but surely the years have dulled the features of my friend.
My memories are empty whispers, just a blank face with a smile, just gaping eye sockets with purple eye shadow, just a disembodied hand reaching towards a ball. Weather worn and tattered. I don’t really have many memories of her at all. How well did I really know her that all that remains in my mind are vague ghosts? How could I have ever cared about her if my mind can remember crying over losing her more than talking to her? Why can I only remember hearing about her death rather than Amanda’s voice?
How selfish can I be?
Years. How many years has it been. I haven’t even thought about you lately or maybe even not at all. You’ve been shoved right out of my head and it’s my fault. Now you’re even dying in my memory. It’s losing you all over again and it hurts. Maybe if I could remember what you said… maybe… maybe you’d be alive in my mind once more. Amanda, what did you look like?
What did you say? Your voice, what was it like? I remember you were quiet… Or is that just my imagination creating an illusion? Even my dream of you was just a dream. Yet still I struggle in the dark and I try and I try… I won’t let you suffer death again.
Ah! I remember something. Its fuzzy but it is something. We were playing a game and I missed a shot. You looked me in the eye and we laughed. I remember. The sound was like small falling bells. It was the first time I ever really saw you smile and the first time I heard you laugh. And now I cry.
I cry because you laughed and I cry because even as I hold onto that moment I can feel it leaving. It’s my ball of light and it’s being eaten by the dark. I am not ready. I don’t want to let go and I don’t want to forget you. I need to remember what you told me! I need to know and even through my tears and desperation I know that eventually water slips between the cracks of fingers. No matter how tight I may grasp.
I lay back down in my bed and I hear a car pass by. A bar of artificial light crosses the ceiling breaking up the moonbeam. Just like that the spell is broken. I close my tired eyes to try to sleep and try to dream. Tears continue to slip between lids because I know I’ll never dream of you again.
What did you say?
You’re gone, just a forgotten dream. I fall asleep looking a sliver moonbeam. I awake and I have the unusual sensation that I just heard a tingling bell fall to the floor, and we’re watching sideways. Huh, we? Hmm must just be my imagination. I begin to prepare for the day.
My entry into PuppylovePyro's "Death" contest.
I know it's pretty long... But the lines are short and it reads fast
I want to see if anyone gets what Iam talking about...
I feel like I didn't make it too hard, so I guess I'll see.
PLEASE COMMENT!!!!!
My views always go up but nobody comments! TT.TT
I hope you enjoy!
~Tsu
An Absratct Idea
Never so found
As before one learns
The pure dew falls
So fresh in mourning
Only to dry in day
And disappear
So not to be seen
The colors swirl around
A confused mind
Solid walls
Tall tree trunks moving
Made of dark
Creek and moan
They walk upright
A sprinkler sprays
Wet drops miss the ground
Create a river
Moving down
Shoved from behind
Pulled to the side
Seven men
For seven handles
Heft the heavy
And carry the crate inside
Ashen planes on necks
Face to the front
And the doors open wide
All is dark within
A feeling-less feeling
Overwhelms
A young mind
The crowd moves within
Only to find
Nothing but air
With words
Of empty hope floating
Up to the sky
Hands linked
For reasons unknown
To a tired mind
Rows of blocks
The bees swarm to their hive
They sing their hymns of honey
To loll to sleep
Their anxious butterfly
Songs lifted up
To the tops
Of wooden pillars
To be set on marble alters
An abstract an idea
Presented for the unseen
Words are spoken
Unheard by all
Promises to be lost
With time that ticks
Movement again
In the reverse
The flock moves
Towards the quarry
Filled with valued stone
And people that do not move
Trapped in Medusa’s spell
An open mouth
Stands at the ready
To eat and naw
An oval forms around
The vast pit to the monsters stomach
A foe to this mind
Half seen shadows move
Lift, lift
Lower, lower
A twist and boom
The creature burps
As the food hits
Lilies white snow
Drop with sleet
To wash all the meal down
And heaps and heaps
In rhythm roar
The sound of earth hitting earth
A brick held
By one tall figure
Opens to reveal
A hidden agenda
And ears open
To take in small comforts
A mind is expanding
As it begins to understand
The mystery surrounding
A very strange day
Orbs that widen
And a mouth that drops
A window opens
A door that locks
The snail crawls from its shell
And wonders into the light
Then poof
What magic
Becomes as dust
To be lost
In swift wind
A child
Transformed
Becomes an adult
SHORT EXPLAINATION: My uncle killed himself in March of this year... The following is the peom I wrote just a little while ago, I decided against posting the one I wrote right after it happened...
*bows*
Thank you for reading this rant like non-ryhming poem!!!
~Tsu
I see the gloves removed from hands,
Lain on your grave,
I am back to when you gave me my 16th birthday gift,
Ah the irony,
My first gun,
An offer to learn from you,
A relationship we never had before,
And now your brothers are crying,
And my mother,
Your sister,
Is putting a note in your grave.
And my grandmother is sobbing,
I can imagine the moment of your death,
How you must’ve felt,
Not even a letter left,
As you took the gun,
To your head,
And shot yourself,
In your own mother’s house,
In the room across from her bed,
Oh how your mother must have felt,
When she found you in your room.
You’re the one that taught me,
All the little things,
About pool and gambling,
And as I remember your face,
I feel as though,
I am back in my room,
Being told that you died,
And that they didn’t know why,
Then later that day,
Realizing that that was a lie.
I promised I’d never cry another tear for you,
And as I stand here at your funeral,
Trying to keep it all inside,
Trying to hold it together for my grandma,
For my mom,
All as I watch,
The future as I view it,
Cruelly get covered with dirt,
On a sunny day,
And I think how much I hate you,
Even as my heart aches.
Even now months later,
It still hurts,
I see the effect it has had on my family,
And I can’t help but to wonder why,
My grandma still hears your steps,
Walking down the hall at night,
She’s very depressed,
We all miss you,
We all hate you,
We all love you,
I don’t think,
That we will ever,
Ever forgive you.
This my first fan word contest entry... IT was written with the image of two men sitting calmly eating cake with the end of the world visable through the window...
Thank you for viewing!
*bows*
10-22-2012
Sorry!
This story is down for fixing!
I am planning to persue it further by way of film!
Thank you for your understanding,
Tsu
My 2 year TheO surprise!(Unless you read MyO...)
BACKROUND OF STORY:
This one of two short vampire stories I wrote under the prompt "Your first night as a vampire." Thoguh I like the other story I wrote better (a comedy from a guy's point of view) it's hand written, needs to be fixed and Iam too slow a typer to write it up agian. (Maybe I'll post that one later...) Back to the point now. This is written in a very similar style to "Miss Ratched's Love Story" and is hopefully a good description of the first day night of a vampire.
Please comment!
I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!!! *bows*
The end. Or at least that’s the way it began. My death, that’s how my life came into being. I remember how it felt when my body failed and how the world I had known drifted away from me. There was pain at first but it soon faded. All that was left was me. Then I also began to feel the “me” floating away. Then nothing. Just an endless expanse of nothing. I was quite surprised when feeling came flowing back again. No pain, not anymore, just warmth. It felt wonderful, warm like being wrapped in a blanket. I was so at peace with myself, the world, everything.
I opened my eyes.
Night enveloped me. Oh, how beautiful the world appeared to my new eyes born of darkness. I saw the hidden light that eyes blinded by sun can never be able to see. I understood right away that sunlight would never be enough for me again. It would never make me as happy or as warm as this dark bliss. It felt exhilarating. It was as if the elements themselves were giving me strength. More then I ever could have even dreamed of attaining had in my previous life. I stood up and took a deep breath so I could fully enjoy the sensation of this power. Suddenly I realized that the rhythm of my heart and breathing I had grown so used to was over and everything was still and quite. When it sunk in that I no longer needed to breath and that that life was done, I stopped. No need to pretend I was still alive in the way I used to be. I had a second chance at life within my death. I was beyound description.
Then an odd, but not surprising, feeling took me over. Hunger. Even this feeling was pleasant even though at the same time it was tearing me apart. It was all consuming. The pain itself was beautiful bliss. It was ecstasy. My very being seemed to be crying out, every cell craved blood.
Maybe a cat jumped over my grave? I mused remebering the old stories from my first life, or maybe it was my red birthmark, or was I born with hair? I wonder. I wonder. What made me this way?
Putting those pointless thoughts aside, I then went in search of subsidence. I walked slowly, I was in no hurry. I could feel my goal near; unsuspecting and weak. Their heartbeat sounded delicious. I crept closer. They could not hear me. After all with out troublesome breath and heart to worry about, I was completely silent. Soon I was right behind my prey. I watched them they were vulnerable and would be easy to take. I slid silently behind the human, and before they could even begin to think, a quick twist to the neck and they were dead, gone to my cause. As to feed before the blood turned cold, I quickly I clamped on to their neck and broke the skin with my long teeth. I then proceeded to drain them of their blood. It was sweet and warm. I could feel it sliding down my throat into my stomach, and feel it being absorbed into my being. I was feeling stronger then ever, it was the best thing I had ever tasted.
I let go of the body and it dropped with a thud to the ground. I licked my lips. And took time to enjoy the moment. Instinct more then anything else told me what to do next. The sun was coming, and my sensitive night eyes would be burned from the brightness of its light. I turned and went back to my new home. I stared at the hole in the ground where I had been thoughtlessly buried by my killer. I climbed into the pit and pulled the earth so it covered me once more. I fell asleep.
I had sad dreams of a life past. In the dream there was sun and a family I will never see again. I know the dream well now, it’s the same one I have every day. And I know when I wake again tomorrow night I’ll have the tears running down my face like I always do. Someday will I finally die? I wonder. I wonder.
