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SHORT EXPLAINATION: My uncle killed himself in March of this year... The following is the peom I wrote just a little while ago, I decided against posting the one I wrote right after it happened...
*bows*
Thank you for reading this rant like non-ryhming poem!!!
~Tsu
I see the gloves removed from hands,
Lain on your grave,
I am back to when you gave me my 16th birthday gift,
Ah the irony,
My first gun,
An offer to learn from you,
A relationship we never had before,
And now your brothers are crying,
And my mother,
Your sister,
Is putting a note in your grave.
And my grandmother is sobbing,
I can imagine the moment of your death,
How you must’ve felt,
Not even a letter left,
As you took the gun,
To your head,
And shot yourself,
In your own mother’s house,
In the room across from her bed,
Oh how your mother must have felt,
When she found you in your room.
You’re the one that taught me,
All the little things,
About pool and gambling,
And as I remember your face,
I feel as though,
I am back in my room,
Being told that you died,
And that they didn’t know why,
Then later that day,
Realizing that that was a lie.
I promised I’d never cry another tear for you,
And as I stand here at your funeral,
Trying to keep it all inside,
Trying to hold it together for my grandma,
For my mom,
All as I watch,
The future as I view it,
Cruelly get covered with dirt,
On a sunny day,
And I think how much I hate you,
Even as my heart aches.
Even now months later,
It still hurts,
I see the effect it has had on my family,
And I can’t help but to wonder why,
My grandma still hears your steps,
Walking down the hall at night,
She’s very depressed,
We all miss you,
We all hate you,
We all love you,
I don’t think,
That we will ever,
Ever forgive you.
First of all, as those with big families know all too well, its LOUD. There is always someone there talking, singing, eating, typing, being irksome...and various other REALLY wierd things...(For example I once had a relative who would toss hard objects at my head when I wasn't looking. And another that tried to eat my friend...) On the other hand however, you always have somebody to talk to, be it a sister, brother, grandma, aunt, uncle, niece, cousin, 2nd cousin, your great unlce's cousin's half sister's son...etc. There are always people around...This can be good or bad...depends on how you look at it.
Also, YOU KNOW ALOT OF PEOPLE. Half the people you know are family... If you have a large family you probably know alot of them from one place or another. If not you know somebody who knows sombody. Trust me, whether you know it or not if you have a large family, you've been effected by people you have NEVER met before and maybe never will...Agian this can work for or agianst you...Makes you wonder...just how many times has your life been altered by somebody you don't even know exists...
I don't know about your families, but mine only gets together for 2 reasons. Either A.Theres a wedding or B.Someone died. Its harsh, but the sad truth. Weddings aren't just filled with joy and happiness for the newly weds, but also (since you only see these people once in whos Knows how many days, months even years) with saying goodbye to you sickly relatives...Once agian, a sad truth...Sometimes in larger familiese you don't get a chance to say good-bye before they are gone forever and other times you meet a family member for the first time, just to go to their funneral the next month...Its all very sad but at funnerals my family gets to see each other, which doesn't happen often...So in a way its good...I believe this is why the "Family Reunion" was invented...Just some food for thought.
Stories. Thats the best part of having a large family. Telling the stories of things long past. Some funny, some confusing, some upsetting, and others that are really just an inside joke that know one else could possibly understand. They start like "Remember the time when..." or "What about that time..." and they are always,always worth listening to.If you have never listened to a family story, whether your family be big or small, please give it a try next time. Stories are a part of tradition and you may learn something about a close relative you didn't know before or even become closer to one you usually ignore.
In the end families are families. It dosen't really matter the size. Your family could be 100,000,000,000 or 2 people. Your family can even just be your friends. So long as the loves there, you've got yourself a family!
I hope I didn't write too much...All this has been floating around in my head lately...It just boggled itself out in this essay rant hybrid.
-Tsubasachro
This rant is to show you what a rant is...
That means randomness galore...
I usually try to make them funny...Sometimes I actually do...
When that happens I am in shock and faint dead away.
They are informal with bad spelling and sometimes slang...So please forgive me.
I can't spell to save my life and I type really really slooooooow
Oh and I am obsessed with Vampire Hunter D and It'll come up every now and then...
I really can't think of anything cool or fun to say...
DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM
DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM
One day I hope to know what to say at times like these...
So heres a list!!! YAY for lists!!!
Weirdest things that have happened to me...(all thes really happened...scary...)
Almost sacrificed to some demon god...(It was 6-6-06) I was frighted as some stranger pulled me away...Then my friend rescued me!!!
Was attacked by a chicken in a parking lot(It jumped at me from a tree...)
Was chased down a dead end street by a dog and a weird women.
Was served REFRIGERATED ice cream (Do you know how gross that is? It was moldy andmelted and expired and my old crazy lair lady [my aunt] was giving me the death glare to eat it...)
I was sitting at a public computer taking stupid online quizes when out of know where I hear this voice in my ear "Take that one!!!! I want to take that one!!!! Click on it! Click on it!!!!!!" So I did. She took the quiz through me...We're friends now. I call her Girl-Who-Stares-Over-Shoulder.
Was stranded for 4 hours in a rain forest...Miles form a town...During hunting season...In wild boar land...
Did you know that geckos make sounds? Neither did I...The squeek...very loudly they squeek...Then they fall on your head while your sleeping...and hide in you shoes...and all the while they squeek...
Yup. Thats all I can think of. Thats what a Rants like. There'll be good days and bad days...
-Tsubasachro
End
