Um... Yet another tip. You should put more time into the art. This seems rushed, just like the first page. On the next one, take a little more time on the art and characters and everything. :D That would make it great.
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Some comic advise, try using the sound of what the characters are doing rather than just putting the verb. With the verb it looks tacky. For example, when Esmeralda tosses the wrapping, think of how that would sound and put something like "fwip" rather than "toss." Other than that, this is good. You should color it.
wonderkid
Otaku Legend | Posted 04/26/06 | Reply
RedTigress
Otaku Legend | Posted 04/25/06 | Reply
Kokkoii-Matoku
Otaku Eternal | Posted 04/25/06 | Reply
PHANTOMBLITZ
Otaku Legend | Posted 04/25/06 | Reply
XxRhokotsuxX
Senior Otaku | Posted 04/24/06 | Reply
Reikimaru
Senior Otaku | Posted 04/24/06 | Reply