Hm... I remember seeing the original pages of this a long time ago... May I offer some constructive criticism? While it's not too bad, your proportions are off. For example, look at Malik in the second panel of this page. His head looks too big, and his arms are rather twiggy, if you know what I mean. This can be easily fixed though, and everything else about this little doujinshi seems excellent so far. I like it! Keep it up! ^^