Hello again everyone... This picture, is not for musikizmylife's contest, I just liked how it looked inverted, so I shall submit it, and go into deeper explaination of whats wrong.
Now, those of you that subscribed to me or like my art or saw the picture entitled "<3", you will remember it was dedicated to 'My lovely man'(That just happens to be a break-up song by the most amazing band in the world, Red Hot Chili Peppers) Mike. On the same day, I also submitted a peice called "Frozen tears".
At the time... I loved Mike. With all my heart. Now, my dear friend Kitsune24 noticed it was odd of me to submit a depressing picture while I'm 'happily' in love with Mike. She was right, somthing was wrong. Around that time, I noticed that Mike wasn't acting the same. He was quiet and somtimes distant. This isn't like him, so I knew somthing was wrong, he had somthing on his mind. Thinking more on the same subject, he was distant twoards me, and didn't talk as much as usual. So there was somthing that had to do with me that was on his mind... Are you catching my drift? Another reason I knew somthing was up, was the vivid dreams I've been having. These type of dreams only come around when somthing horrible, somthing that will bring me to tears and heart ache, is about to happen. Call me crazy but it's true. So... Even though nothing was wrong lately, and everything was going smoothly, I knew he was going to break up with me. And even though I knew it, I couldnt prepare myself for it. On the 8th, I said somthing that offended him and he got drastically angered. I knew it was coming... Then after I wrote an apology note to him, he still was mad at me, and said some things about me to my friends. They asked him what was wrong, what happened... And he replied... "F*** Her. Next time I see her I'm breaking up with her." When they told me that, Everyone was worlds away, I was in a crowded school hallway with tears swelling up in my eyes. I walked as fast as posible to my locker. I ended up crying on the bus, and all my friends surrounded me, trying to comfort me. But the feeling of pain in the core of my body just grew worse, I had a difficult time hearing them over my wimpers... And a difficult time seeing them through the blurry tears. The next thing I know, my body has drifted to my living room couch and no one else is home. My cries grew louder and louder, beacuse no one is there to stop me. My core melts painfully as I went to pick up my phone... But I fell to my knees crying, "I cant do this..." My dog Oscar scamped up and kissed me with his long tounge... He might annoy me at times, but he is the best dog ever. Then I gathered up some courage and dialed his number, I had to apologise. "Hello?" "Mike... I'm sorry. Ashley told me what you said in math... and... I'm sorry!" "... I dont know what to say." A silence grasped the air with it's cold hands... then he said "I have to go." More tears streamed down my face and I threw the phone to the other side of the couch. the rest of the night, I spent on the computer and crying.
Suddenly, an IM from Mike poped up on the screen. "Hi." ... "..." ... "alexis?" I finally decide to reply, "hey" "Look, I'm sorry I overeacted, and I love you. Call my cell if you want to talk cuz I have to go." I sit in utter shock and stare at the screen. I thought that wouldve been his excuse to break up!? I thought. I dont understand why, but an eerie joy filled me. I thought it was all okay again. And we could go back to being happily in love! So I called and had a happy conversation with him. Thank god this day is over. I said to myself. We planned on hanging out the next day... Saturday... Yesterday.
So... I called him to tell him I'm not able to come beacuse my grandfather went into the hospital today. That was no lie, he is still in the hospital now. Luckily, he's getting better. So, we talk and talk and talk. Were laughing it up and having a good time. Then... He says, "I have somthing I need to tell you, but I dont want to tell you beacuse you'll get mad or sad or rip my head off like Ozzie bit that bats head off." I wasn't going to correct him, but really it was a dove, not a bat... Anyways, I know what he wanted to say... I knew it was only a matter of time... So, I'll end it now and not beat a dead horse... I end up bugging him to tell me for about ten mins... Then I finally got it out of him...
"I want to back to being friends. Listen, I really love you, I really do, but I dont want us to get into a big fight and never talk again. Thats what I'm afraid of, so I would rather keep you as a friend, so that doesnt happen." ... All I could say was "Oh." I knew it was going to happen but it hurt so much... that I fell down, beacuse the pain in my chest was to great. It was all quiet after that... He said "I know this isn't a good time to joke around, but you promised you wouldnt get sad." I said, "Yeah." Why I didnt hang up the phone then and throw it into a fire is beyond me. Another silence took place then he said, "So... are we still hanging out tommorow?" I was so shoked at that, You just broke up with me, what the hell are you trying to do?!? Just hearing his voice on the phone was making me cry, I dont want to imagine hanging out with him... "... Sure..." I was shoked at that, too. What am I doing?!? Then a final silence that I broke with, "Acctually, I dont think I'll be able to, and I kinda gotta go right now..." I tried my hardest to not give a hint that I was crying. "Okay... Bye." And thats the last time I heard from him. Well, that was yesterday. I just stopped crying this morning... When I finally fell asleep at 5 a.m. It's hard to believe... That it's the end of me and Mike... Now every time I think of him... Tears fall from my eyes and the world starts to spin...

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~GG, Down and out...