I'm not entirely sure what the plot is (mainly because I'm slow) and that confuses me about why there is all this fighting and how these people know each other. Maybe a prologue about how they met (like during some sort of war or something?) would help develop the plot better and maybe make the villain more obvious. Muscles are hard to draw, trust me, but in the title page they don't look quite right and there is nothing on the background to give it an overall purpose. I thought when I saw it that it was just a practice for a chapter page before you completed it. Remember that your title page should express the overall atmosphere of you comic (or, if it's going to be a long series, the volume.) Is this supposed to be a serious volume? If so, use dark colours and shading. I suggest red is a good colour for anger and war. If it is supposed to have a tranquil feel (which I doubt from all the sudden fighting) then light colours like green, white and blue to give it a ghostly feel. I'm going to be posting up a series called 'How to design a good Title Page' (not because of your story. I've had it in my head for ages), maybe you can check some advice from there at some point. Anyway, I think that in order to get straight to the plot this beginning fight should be cut short (like the villain is forced to leave early for some reason leaving the heroes to hunt him down to strange locations or something). Also, watch out for foreshortening and close ups. Especially in page 26, show the look of pain in the entire guys face and show the man grabbing the other one with his fist and raising his other fist to strike him. It's times like these that a battle cry is necessary.
elementalprincess
Otakuite++ | Posted 03/31/12 | Reply
I'm not entirely sure what the plot is (mainly because I'm slow) and that confuses me about why there is all this fighting and how these people know each other. Maybe a prologue about how they met (like during some sort of war or something?) would help develop the plot better and maybe make the villain more obvious. Muscles are hard to draw, trust me, but in the title page they don't look quite right and there is nothing on the background to give it an overall purpose. I thought when I saw it that it was just a practice for a chapter page before you completed it. Remember that your title page should express the overall atmosphere of you comic (or, if it's going to be a long series, the volume.) Is this supposed to be a serious volume? If so, use dark colours and shading. I suggest red is a good colour for anger and war. If it is supposed to have a tranquil feel (which I doubt from all the sudden fighting) then light colours like green, white and blue to give it a ghostly feel. I'm going to be posting up a series called 'How to design a good Title Page' (not because of your story. I've had it in my head for ages), maybe you can check some advice from there at some point. Anyway, I think that in order to get straight to the plot this beginning fight should be cut short (like the villain is forced to leave early for some reason leaving the heroes to hunt him down to strange locations or something). Also, watch out for foreshortening and close ups. Especially in page 26, show the look of pain in the entire guys face and show the man grabbing the other one with his fist and raising his other fist to strike him. It's times like these that a battle cry is necessary.
Unknownquestioner
Otakuite | Posted 03/29/12 | Reply
The pictures are great, but the words are kinda fuzzy & hard to see. But other then that, it's awesome!
Last edited by Unknownquestioner at 9:46:36 PM CDT on March 30, 2012.