Remember, there is no limit to how many times you can redo a digital painting. Sometimes you can fix things by just going over with more paint or new layers. If you aren't happy with the outcome, try again but try with a different technique. If you're too dramatic, soften your approach. If you're too soft and blendy, give yourself some more contrast! Even adjusting the hue of your work or adding extra high/low lights may give you a different perspective.
As you can see in this painting of Henny, the fur detail isn't over exaggerated. A lot of it is scribbled or low key, so that it adds to the image without making him look too hairy. That being said, I would have worked on this for another day and added even more realistic detail until he looked less painterly and more real. But I decided to end here because that is the outcome I was looking for. Don't be afraid to experiment and make your own decisions depending on your tastes and styles!
Good places to show hair detail are in the subject's outlines, when colours overlap (draw the top colour going over the bottom colour in the proper direction of the fur), when there is lack of thick fur (such as on a muzzle or base of ears), or when you need to accent features (like the eyebrows). This is when the blending or water tool can become your best friend since you can easily tone down the hair detail and gently blend it into the rest of the coat over and over until you're happy with the consistency of the fur.