I think I'd leave a comment here
First of all, overall this is a good story based on a creative idea. I mean, wow, lizard man? You have some wide imagination there...
I just have few feedbacks...
I think the story is kind of jumping to each other... Every occurred problems could be solved almost instantly, and then new problems occurred not long after the solution of the last one happened. Another thing, I think you should improve on the ending more, like what happened to the other character I also don't really get the reason why Dylan just totally forgot about Karen. Plus, try to improve in the complications.
Anyway, you have a great grammar!
This kind of information is why I put stuff online! I always tell people: "Don't be afraid of telling me the truth, I can't improve if I don't know what needs work." You've given me some excellent notes to improve my writing.
Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Your question is a good one, and actually the vanishing character is just a blemish in my early writing style (this story is probably two years old give or take). It wasn't a consideration I used to make in "writing out" characters believably when their purpose in a story was finished.
Clyne Lacus
Otaku Eternal | Posted 10/14/08 | Reply
I think I'd leave a comment here
You have some wide imagination there...
I also don't really get the reason why Dylan just totally forgot about Karen. Plus, try to improve in the complications.
First of all, overall this is a good story based on a creative idea. I mean, wow, lizard man?
I just have few feedbacks...
I think the story is kind of jumping to each other... Every occurred problems could be solved almost instantly, and then new problems occurred not long after the solution of the last one happened. Another thing, I think you should improve on the ending more, like what happened to the other character
Anyway, you have a great grammar!
CosmicSailor
Otaku Eternal | Posted 04/11/08 | Reply
@:
Wonderful!
This kind of information is why I put stuff online! I always tell people: "Don't be afraid of telling me the truth, I can't improve if I don't know what needs work." You've given me some excellent notes to improve my writing.
CosmicSailor
Otaku Eternal | Posted 04/06/08 | Reply
@:
Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Your question is a good one, and actually the vanishing character is just a blemish in my early writing style (this story is probably two years old give or take). It wasn't a consideration I used to make in "writing out" characters believably when their purpose in a story was finished.