Chapter Twelve

If You Can Dodge A Ball

“We’re going to have a school-wide tournament a week from today,” the teacher told the class that Friday. It was in the final moments of class, when he normally would have allowed for quiet study. “The principal decided that you lot were too lazy and has decreed that there shall be a competition between the grades to see who has the best dodgeball team.”

“Isn’t the concept of dodgeball inhumane?” asked one of the girls.

“Nonsense,” the teacher said. “Do not believe all the griping you tend to hear from the parents of whiny crybabies who would rather sit on the sidelines and do nothing for an A. Dodgeball is a very fun thing to participate in and not everyone has to participate if they don’t want to. Our class does have to be represented by a team though, so I am expecting at least a handful to step up to the plate and bite the bullet for the team. I need a minimum of six people for the team, so speak up!”

The entire class was silent. After a minute of awkward glances and uncomfortable waiting, a predictable voice rang out.

“I’ll play!” Haruhi said happily. She was no surprise, and most of the class was simply shocked she had not volunteered sooner.

“Me too!” Saki chimed in.

“So Yamamoto-san and Takizawa-san,” the teacher muttered as he wrote their names down on the board. “Come on boys… are you all fine with being shown up by a couple of girls?”

“Not me!” Hans snapped, standing nearly upright in his seat.

“…and I’m not being overdone by a brat,” Masaru muttered, raising his hand as he glared at Hans. The young boy stuck his tongue out at the teen, who subsequently snarled silently back.

“Then if Gokudera-kun and Sasagawa-kun are in, and there are no other willing participants, would you be so kind as to fill in Dokuro-kun and Sawada-kun?”

“Pardon me, Sensei, but why us?” Kiyohiko asked. “I am the worst in the class after Gokudera-kun in P.E. and would only weigh the team down; while Dokuro-kun is pretty good at sports, he never volunteered.”

“You two work best with those who volunteered,” the teacher said in an as-a-matter-of-factly tone. “There are roles in the team that anyone can fill, even those without any athletic prowess.”

The bell rang and the class began to shuffle out. Kiyohiko went up to the teacher at his desk and waited until the rest of his classmates had left.

“Please Sensei… I don’t want to participate in this,” he said.

“As far as I know, you have no medical conditions preventing you,” the teacher said. “Class 1-C is not going to be underrepresented just because no one feels like it. All you have to do is get a light tap with the ball early on and you’ll be fine.”

“…but I don’t want to, is the problem,” Kiyohiko retorted. The teacher sighed and looked his student in the eyes.

“No offense, Sawada-kun, but this is Japan. I know you grew up in Europe and they do things differently there, but here in Japan we do things for the good of the group… even if we don’t enjoy these things. You should probably try practicing over the weekend. I spoke with your personal trainer the other day and he says he’s been attempting to whip you up into shape, so I feel no qualms over this.”

“I don’t have a personal trainer,” Kiyohiko said plainly.

“Reboyama-san,” the teacher said. “Short fellow, spiked hair, slight accent…”

“Oh… him,” Kiyohiko frowned. “That’s more of a disillusioned houseguest than a personal trainer.”

“Either way, the exercise and group bonding will be good for you. Now have a good weekend, Sawada-kun.” With that, the teacher was finished packing up and left the classroom, leaving a rather perturbed Kiyohiko to his own devices.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“You talked to my teachers?!” Kiyohiko screamed at Reborn, who was pensively having a cup of tea with Leon on the study table. “Why can’t you stop interfering with the normal parts of my life?!” The teenager had only been home long enough to change into some more comfortable blue jeans and a t-shirt before he began berating the infant hitman.

“I do not interfere where I am not required,” Reborn stated, a glazed-over look on his face. “I mentioned nothing of the Mafia and was under the guise of a personal trainer. He suspects nothing.”

“That still doesn’t give you the right to meddle with my teachers! The dodgeball tournament was your idea too, wasn’t it?!”

“I have no idea as to what you are talking about, Yohi,” Reborn said. “I merely informed the current principal of Namimori that you are in need of some intense training and it might help if some was under the guise of a school-wide tournament of sorts.”

“You little blackmailer!”

“Hey, you coming Little Cousin?” Masaru asked, poking his head in the door. “Everyone’s got to be over at the park by now.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming. Just let me finish scolding the brat,” Kiyohiko growled. Masaru took hold of his cousin’s arm and dragged him along anyways.

“Stop yelling at Reborn,” Masaru ordered once they were finally out of the house. “You’ve become extremely moody since he showed up.”

“Can you blame me?”

“No, but it’s really no way to act. What if your mom and dad saw you acting like this? What would they say?”

“I don’t want to hear about them right now.”

“See… that’s your problem: you’re an extreme grump. Dad said that everyone had tons of fun when Reborn was training your dad…”

“Yeah, and they were almost killed multiple times and dragged my mom and Haruhi-san’s mom into it all. How many times do you think they were almost killed in the line of fire?”

“At least seventy to my memory.”

“…and that’s all they decided to tell us.” Kiyohiko angrily kicked a discarded tin can that was lying in the middle of the alleyway. “There’s a reason why I moved to Japan and it’s crumbling before my very eyes. Don’t you know how it feels to watch something unfold and be totally powerless to stop it?”

“A couple times, when I was extremely little.”

“Well, that’s how I feel now. It’s enough to make anyone get moody.”

“Now that’s not the Little Cousin I know and love,” Masaru grinned. “I think you’re in an extremely better situation than Tsuna-oji. He never knew anything about the Mafia until it was too late. You’ve always known and most of us have known as well. Yeah Saki-chan and Goku-oji’s brat didn’t know and Haruhi-chan is reverting to thinking it’s a game, but it’s not like they’re extremely helpless. I bet they’ll be part of your Guardians one of these days.”

“I don’t want them to though. I want them to live out normal, happy lives.”

“You forgot that this is normal for us and makes us happy. Stop being so selfish, Yohi.”

Kiyohiko looked at his older cousin to see a goofy smile on his face, one that echoed his Uncle Ryohei to the tee. The young Vongola chuckled and gave a wan smile himself.

“So… then you think you’ve got my Guardians all figured out?” he asked.

“Well of course! I’m Sun, Haruhi-chan’s Rain, Damiano’s Mist, Hans has to be Storm, I’m pretty sure Saki is Thunder and… hmm… I don’t know who we know that could be of a Cloud Attribute other than Hibari… and I don’t want to go near him as long as I can help it, so we probably haven’t met your Cloud Guardian yet.”

“Why is Damiano-kun Mist? I’ve never seen him use an illusion. The only person I’ve seen using a Mist illusion recently has been Annje-chan, and she’s eight.”

“So is Hans. Lambo-nii was only five when he was chosen, so I guess we can’t count out the squirts no matter how annoying they are.”

“Hey! Yohi-kun! Masaru-kun!” called out Haruhi, signaling to the boys that they had arrived at the park. The surrounding area seemed deserted, which both pleased Kiyohiko and made him feel uneasy. Haruhi was already waiting with Damiano and Saki on one of the park’s benches, with Hans and Annje shouting at one another in German a few meters away.

“What’s with them?” Masaru asked, pointing at the children.

“Gokudera-kun found out that Annje-chan’s from the Netherlands and is now calling her… a…” Saki began. She paused and listened to the shouting a little more closely before nodding. “…either he’s saying she’s ‘a drunken cycling nut cursed with cheese-breath’ or she’s ‘a punk and Viking nut that’s a wurst’s peas’ breadth’. She’s coming back with some bad poorly-translated colloquialisms that I can’t make out, but assume have something to do with Nazis and Bavarian oompah bands. Either way, it’s not sounding happy.”

“I did not know you spoke German,” Reborn said, appearing suddenly on the bench next to Saki. He was dressed in a military uniform, complete with a sword and general’s stars on the shoulders.

“Oh, I’m not very good!” Saki laughed, ignoring the suddenness of the hitman’s entrance. “I’ve picked up a couple key words thanks to my mom loving foreign cinema. I’ve been watching subtitled movies from Europe since I was little. It would be the same as a German watching anime and understanding a little Japanese because of it.”

“Then your predisposition towards foreign language shall be one of your greater assets,” Reborn said. He hopped off the bench and paced in front of the teenagers. “Now, in one week, you have to be ready to represent Freshman class C at the Namimori Dodgeball Tournament. It looks like you have an extra body in the ranks.”

“She refused to let me come without her,” Damiano sulked. “The bambina is really getting on my nerves.”

“Hmm… either way, she can join the opposing team once they arrive,” Reborn mused. “You all must gather over there, in that patch of grass. Go on, before I shoot you all to death.”

The teens obeyed and walked over to the far side of the field, dragging Hans with them. They turned around to see Annje still standing near the bench, whilst Reborn was roughly between them.

“Why’d you guys abandon Annje?” the girl half-sobbed, a hurt look on her face.

“Aw, come off it you sissy!” Hans yelled across the field.

“You stupid boy!” Annje cried. She dropped down to the grass and began to cry.

“Ah, jeez…” Hans groaned, slapping his forehead with his palm. “I can’t believe that she’s the same age as me.”

“Why… because she acts her age?” Kiyohiko asked. He glared at the boy, who glared back, until they caught something out of the corner of their eyes.

“Awww… are they being mean to you?” Annje looked up and saw Rosario staring down at her.

“Mmmhmm…” the girl whined.

“What are you doing here Rosario-nee?!” Haruhi called down the field.

“Zio Reborn called in a favor to the Varia,” Rosario replied. “The Varia has been requested to assist in the training of the Undicesimo. Although this is a non-combat situation, the percentage of success is incredibly high and I would be a horrible subordinate for Leader if I did not take such a simple request.”

Suddenly, about a dozen camouflage-clad men emerged from some nearby trees and bushes. Each of them was armed with bright red dodgeballs instead of guns and looked to each be formidable opponents in their own right.

“Merda...!” Damiano cursed. The group scattered as the camouflaged men began attacking. Before long, it became a veritable free-for-all that turned the entire park into a battleground.

Kiyohiko leaned up against a tree, panting from all the running. He was quickly joined by Damiano, who seemed just as exasperated.

“This is going to be the death of us,” Kiyohiko panted. “It’s not exactly how I imagined I would spend my weekend, or how I would see Rosario-nee again.”

“She does seem to be getting along with Annje well, doesn’t she?” Damiano noted. The Vongola peeked out from behind the tree too see that Rosario and Annje (aided by Gerardus the Unicorn) were starting to corner Hans; the little boy cursing and half-crying at the futility of escape.

“A little too well,” Kiyohiko frowned. He looked up and saw a decent-looking branch about halfway up the tree. “Hey, Damiano-kun…”

“Yeah, Don Yohi?”

“Can you still climb trees?”

“Is Sorella still psycho?”

“Then give me a boost, will you?”

Damiano smirked as he cupped his hands together as a step for his friend to vault up the tree with. He ascended not too long afterwards, finding that Kiyohiko had found a branch with a perfect view of the park.

It was chaos. Over at one end, Masaru was laying spread-eagle on the ground after being pelted in the side of the head with a dodgeball, leaving Saki and Haruhi to run around in an attempt to tag him back in. Hans was curled up in the middle of the park, trying his best not to cry. Rosario and Annje were scurrying around, attempting to tag their team’s members back in.

“Signorina Haruhi is so cool…” Damiano sighed, staring at the girl in question.

“Well, you haven’t tried to teach her mathematics yet,” Kiyohiko laughed. “Her dad was never very good at schoolwork and I doubt she even tries to pick things up from her mom.”

“She makes up for it in other areas.”

“Oh really now?”

“Yeah. She makes me kind of nervous whenever she’s around.”

“...and defensive whenever Reborn is added to the mix.” Kiyohiko let out a chuckle and sighed. “I wish he would let up, you know?”

“Of course. The Arcobaleno infuriates me. It’s almost like I’m not myself… but more like…”

“I know.”

“Yeah.”

Kiyohiko and Damiano sat there in silence for a while, watching what was going on below. Things were so peaceful that they never expected a dodgeball to come whizzing through the tree branches and crack Damiano in the back of the head. The teen fell to the ground, causing Kiyohiko to panic.

“What the!?” he cried out, jumping down to his friend. Damiano was a bit groggy from hitting his head on the grass, but was otherwise fine.

“No hiding,” Reborn said. Kiyohiko looked up to see the infant hitman perched on the branch they were just on, a dodgeball in each hand. “It obviously looks like I need to take it up a notch.”

“No you don’t…!” Kiyohiko warned. Reborn ignored him and threw one of the balls at him. It sped past his face and into the grass behind him, exploding on impact.

“Shit! Let’s get out of here!” Kiyohiko panicked. He was literally dragging Damiano along as he ran over towards Hans. The teen ducked to avoid another exploding dodgeball, covering Hans so that the child was not hit by the flying clumps of grass and dirt.

“Eleventh! I’m supposed to be the one protecting you!” Hans protested, trying not to show that he had been crying despite the snot running from his nose betraying him. “We need to go get revenge on Rosario and Annje! I am not going to be beaten by them!”

“That’s all good and fine, but we need to bolt,” Kiyohiko said. He breathed a small sigh of relief when Damiano came to his senses and seemed to have recovered from the hit to the head. “Reborn’s using exploding dodgeballs now.”

The small boy’s eyes grew wise at the mention of explosions and, to Kiyohiko’s absolute horror, grinned madly.

“Awesome!” he cheered. “If those explode, then things are just getting interesting!” He whipped out his slingshot and launched a pebble that had been on the ground. The pebble hit a ball halfway across the field and exploded mid-air. Everyone else in the park stared at the smoldering remains as they drifted down to the ground.

Kiyohiko blanched. “Not good.”

“Scatter!” Damiano shouted as some more dodgeballs came their way. He, Kiyohiko and Hans split up, all attempting to avoid the exploding balls.

“Where are these things coming from…?!” Hans noted as he narrowly avoided a ball that instead of exploding, produced spikes that flung everywhere.

“I don’t know, but I’m sure Reborn has something to do with it!” Kiyohiko said. He ended up kicking a ball, which caught on fire and caused one of the camouflaged men to erupt into flames.

“Woah…” the guys marveled. After a split second, Damiano found himself running off after Haruhi and Hans had jumped on Gerardus the Unicorn, attempting to make the Box Animal toss Annje.

“Get off! You’re going to make Annje fall!” the girl cried.

“That’s the point!”

“Hey, pay attention Little Cousin!” Masaru laughed, coming up from behind and slapping Kiyohiko on the back. “It looks like the game is getting extremely exciting now!”

“Extremely dangerous is more like it,” Kiyohiko replied. “You wouldn’t be able to differentiate between fun and dangerous if your life depended on it.”

“Now that is a highly negative view,” Reborn said, materializing out of nowhere. He stood next to where Kiyohiko was crouched down, holding a purple bazooka that was aimed right for Kiyohiko’s head. “I believe you must be punished for such thoughts.”

Just as the cannon fired, Kiyohiko ducked. He remembered what that bazooka did—it was the Ten Year Bazooka and the last thing he wanted was to be thrust ten years into the future into an environment that was completely foreign and possibly, heaven forbid, dangerous. The bazooka’s shot went over his head and headed straight towards the still-bickering Annje and Hans.

“Look out you guys!” Kiyohiko screamed. He was too late however, since the children only had a second to look before being enveloped in a cloud of smoke.

“Oh my… now look what you did Yohi,” Reborn scolded.

“You were the one who fired the cannon!” Kiyohiko protested. He had no more time to argue though, as the smoke was clearing up. In the place of the children were their eighteen-year-old forms. Hans was tall and slim, looking like an eighteen-year-old version of his father with shorter hair and slight chin stubble. Annje, however, was even taller than Hans—about an entire head taller than Damiano—was curvy and “smoking hot,” as Masaru put it. They appeared to have come right from a club, as they were dressed in trendy clothes that were nearly dripping in sweat and were in the middle of dancing, which they awkwardly stopped once they realized the music was no longer playing.

“Oh… so our younger selves must have been hit,” Older Hans said as he looked at their surroundings. He wore one of Gokudera’s signature scowls and seemed to scratch the back of his head the same way. “I was wondering when this would start happening. We were eight when we first met, right? That would certainly put us due for a few of these backpedaling trips.”

“Ja, ja, Schatz… I remember this…!” Older Annje smiled nostalgically as a dodgeball sped past her. She appeared to be unfazed by the schoolyard-type carnage that lay about her. “Weren’t we on different teams?” She absentmindedly played with a ring that she was wearing on a necklace chain as she observed her surroundings.

“I do believe so,” Older Hans smirked. “Oh, hey there Eleventh! Wow… you sure were small when we were in freshman year. Then again, I was much smaller…”

“Enough chit-chat,” Reborn said. “You remember the teams: now continue! Remember the sensitivity of this time period!”

“Ja Reborn!” they both smiled. The two from the future faced each other and jumped back, eerie grins upon their faces.

“Gerardus!” Older Annje shouted, calling forth her Box Animal. A majestic indigo unicorn materialized in front of her. “Let’s get him! He’s powerless without his Attribute Weapons!” She scooped up a dodgeball and hopped onto Gerardus, heading straight for Hans.

“…as if I’m totally defenseless,” the young man chuckled. He crouched down low to the ground once the ball came towards him and then did a dangerous leap between Gerardus’s legs. The unicorn stumbled, its form faltering and returning to its box. Older Annje fell on top of Older Hans, who giggled and rolled over so that he was the one on top.

“Uh… ew,” Haruhi said, staring at the scene. By this point, everyone on Kiyohiko’s team had stopped to watch the spectacle while Rosario’s team attempted not to watch. Rosario was watching, however, quite amused at the entire situation.

“That’s love for you!” she swooned.

“Is that Gokudera-kun and Annje-chan older siblings…?” Saki gaped. Masaru blinked at her.

“You’re extremely lost, aren’t you?”

“Not my fault you guys have strange rules.”

“That right there isn’t one of our rules,” Kiyohiko grimaced, not able to take his eyes away from what was quickly becoming an intimate and giggle-filled moment. Older Hans was closing in on Older Annje’s face when the telltale smoke enveloped them and the regular child versions of Hans and Annje appeared, the former dragging the latter as she lay curled up on the ground with her ears covered.

“Annje doesn’t like the noise! It’s too loud and there’s lots of people she doesn’t know!” the girl sobbed, screaming at the top of her lungs.

“We’re back!” Hans shouted at her. “Whatever it was wore off!”

“Annje’s still scared!”

“That’s it; I’m going home,” Kiyohiko frowned. He turned on his heel and walked away sourly.

“Wait! Eleventh! Don’t forget me!” Hans called out. He let go of Annje and ran after the teen.

“You did that on purpose,” Damiano muttered in Reborn’s direction.

“The future we are shown by the Bazooka can always be changed,” Reborn grinned.

“That was the future…?” Saki wondered.

“Come Saki-chan,” Rosario smiled as she took Saki by the arm and began to walk away. “Let me explain to you a little thing we like to call the Space-Time Continuum and how it’s totally manipulated bull.”