@Morbid Dollie:

yeah, definitely! there are some people who you realize don't think about you at all when you're apart, and they aren't real friends. but when you are always thinking or them or reminded of them by things, then distance doesn't matter at all!

and yeah, i can agree to that. this world has so many problems. it's about time things just came to an end...that's how i feel. like, it just can't really get much worse, so let's just be done with it then. a few decades ago, things were much more civil and likely to lead to happy lives. harder, maybe, but not like this. not in a depressing way. it would be better to have lived then >.>

haha you're insightful. he probably doesn't. he's just SO sensitive. it's like he'd totally DIE if i left him. and that's even if i'm just trying to prove a point, not really meaning or wanting to leave for real. i hope that his recent behavior continues to be a good pattern and that he's getting this, because i don't want to have to resort to taking off to teach him this lesson. it shouldn't have to get that bad, you know? especially when he claims to love me SO much and more than anything and all that. but i guess we'll just wait and see.

@jikosangel:

I've gone for long times without talking to my friends, but distance isn't what determines your friendship. It's how often you think about them, and if you still feel close with them even when you're apart. I still feel like I'm right there with my friends when I'm not talking with them. I think about them all the time, and I'm sure they do me, too <33

Our world is really falling apart. All of our systems (money/finances, school, government, everything) is really changing, for the worse. I hate living in this world, and the era that I'm stuck in. I wish I was born like 60 years ago, so my childhood and adolescence could have been spent in a happier time, and hopefully my children's too D:

I almost think.....that he really doesn't need more attention. I think he needs to hurt a little, to realize what he may be giving up if his attitude doesn't change.

But, then again. I know for a fact that hurt doesn't always change people DX

@Morbid Dollie:

For sure! there's nothing better than someone who really gets you, and as long as you can talk somehow, it's all good as it gets :D i don't see some of my best friends for months at a time, because of life and circumstances, but that doesn't change a thing! your friends are your friends, no matter what ^___^

and yeah...that's what i thought. my dad sent those to me last week as a head's up, since we've had this conversation on and off for years (about the problems with the school system and such). isn't it awful? can you believe that the people we have elected to govern this country are doing this to us, our children, and the generations to come?! it's so wrong >.<

and you are definitely right. it's just trying to figure out whether he needs more attention and care, or if he needs me to leave so he can break down and get it together. trying to guess which path is better, more effective...but somehow, if we try hard, we'll make it through. it's just gonna take a lot more time than i had thought.

@jikosangel:

True friends don't have to be friends in real life. A friend is someone who is there for you, and someone who listens. Someone who understands you and never lets you down. That's what all of my friends here are to m3 <3

Ok those stories are sickening.......Really, why is our world so screwed up? D:

He will. Patience, my dear. Even if it's a lot of them. And if he doesn't, I'm sure that if you decided to move on, he'll realize how empty his life is without you, and he'll change. Sometimes, you have to burn to realize something. And if that's what it takes for him, that's what it takes. You two will get there.

@Morbid Dollie:

I am glad to hear that! ^___^ sometimes it's better to have true friends than to have physical people in front of you. as long as you still have fun, then it's all good, right?

and hold on... http://manvsdebt.com/why-student-loans-suck/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ManVsDebt+%28Man+Vs.+Debt%29
and http://truthout.org/why-united-states-destroying-its-education-system/1302418800 Try those!

and yeah, i'm giving it my best. it's just hard for me...the way i was raised, you can do anything you put your mind to, as long as you put in enough effort. literally, i accomplish crazy things. I wanted a new job this year because my old one sucked so badly, and after 3 hours of jobhunting (in person- about 6 apps total), I got 2 interviews the next day, and both jobs later that week, and then 2 more interviews in the next couple weeks. if i want it, i make it happen. so when i've done everything i can, and it's still not enough, then i feel like a fish outta water >.> i don't know what else to do. and really, there IS nothing else i can do- it's all on him to decide if i'm worth giving up being a kid and growing into a responsible and reliable man. i love him, more than anything, and i really feel like there's no one else i want, but my parents can't understand that. i'm hoping things will work out.

@jikosangel:

Yeah, absolutely. And you're right, my friends here understand me. They're enough to make me happy <3

Well, the link isn't working D:

Even if it's a problem, and if you have a hard time remembering the good times, you're sticking with him through this. You'll still there, even though you know he's not what you need yet. You have faith that he can become what you're expecting him to be. Hey, to me, that sounds like true love.

@Morbid Dollie:

haha for sure! those of us with brains, who don't fall into all that drama and social pressure, we understand how things work and would get along real well :D all you need is people who understand you, and if your friends here do, then i hope that will always be enough to make you smile <3

schools...they have problems. i know, it would be so much easier if real, smart people could be put in power, and make changes for the better of everyone. instead, the idiots in charge are making things worse and worse:
http://truthout.org/why-united-states-destroying-its-education-system/1302418800
http://manvsdebt.com/why-student-loans-suck/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ManVsDebt+%28Man+Vs.+Debt%29
(I mean, SERIOUSLY?? this is who we are letting run our country, what we're letting them do to our children and grandchildren?!)

and yeah, i know >.> all i can do is wait, wait for him to really "get" how important it is to work hard for us, to be the person i know he can be, or else it will never be worth all the effort i've put in all these years. sorry, little morbid. i think he's FINALLY hitting that point where he's getting it, or starting to, but it's hard not to remember all the last couple of years of trouble. i love him to death, but with everyone asking why i'm doing this, it's hard to remember what few good times we've had against everything. i know he CAN do this, i know it could be wonderful- but now it's all up to him and whether or not he really loves me enough to put in the effort.

@jikosangel:

Outcasts beat preps, jocks, geeks, emos and anything else society can dish out. Definitely. All I need is people who don't get the popular ones, because they'd get me~

A lot of things in this world should be redone, but it's not going to happen. I wish I was in a place of high power, so I could make a change. I really do. Wait, what are they doing? D:

Well, if you both really love each other, you can be patient. Just wait for him to come around and impress your parents. And if he really loves you, he'll do whatever it takes, and I mean whatever it takes, to become the better person your parents want him to be.

@Morbid Dollie:

yup! being an "outcast" is better than being in any popular group, though, by far! it's just different to sit there and deal with the kids who think they're better than you just because they have an army of fake "friends" and you don't >.> who needs them!

and yeah, it winds up being a problem that has no easy solution. the whole school system really needs to be redone, but we know they won't do it. they're actually trying to make it a problem...but that's a whole other argument. i can link you my info if you're curious.

and yeah, i don't blame them for being mad at him. i'm mad at him for promising much and giving little, when i KNOW he has the potential to be everything i want and need. he's getting there, just Sooo much more slowly than i thought it should take >.> they liked him, then he screwed up, and screwed up more, and then big time, and now he's finally getting it right after 5 years, and they will take a while to win back over. ah well, what can i do?

@jikosangel:

That's true, kids at school are just like that, maybe worse. But I'm sure there are a few kids that are decent. The outcasts, probably. Which is where I'd belong in high school.

I really hate the culture we live in, with spoiled pain the butts for kids, and insensitive teachers. Some kids really could use some extra help, but like I said, it would just lead to too many problems D:

Well, if I was a parent, I'd be a little iffy, too, mostly because I'd want what was the best and safest for my child -3-

@Morbid Dollie:

Ahh, yeah, i completely agree! a lot of people our age are just a pain >.> school probably wouldn;t be the best place for you to make friends, then- because the majority of the kids are like that. i always had just a handful of friends in school because everyone else was so annoying lol.

and it's true, there shouldn't be exceptions made for only certain people, and not others, and kids would throw a fit about it (cuz of our stupid culture that thinks they should have everything they want). But i think the teachers should be more sensitive than they are- better about offering extra help, noticing which kids might just need tutoring, instead of just assuming the kid is stupid and not helping. extra credit should be more available, especially in core classes that are mandatory, cuz there's no way everyone's gonna be on the same page, you know? then those who know they're behind can have the choice to put in the extra effort on what they DO know, and bring their grades up some. it would be better if teachers really cared >.>

and haha i hope so, too. but he's made a lot of bad choices and my parents aren't very pleased with him any more >.> i mean, he is definitely getting better, but he made some really stupid moves, and they hold it against him a lot....

@jikosangel:

I go to the mall every now and then, but I don't meet people there either. I don't interact with people, because most of the people around my age there are drama queens or those stupid "emo" wanna-be things. I hate the "emo" thing, as much as I do like cheerleaders or something. So, I don't talk to people. But like I said, my friends online fill the void~

Schools are made to educate, and not give special treatment to anyone (unless they're diagnosed with a disability of sorts) but probably with good reasoning. Students who really need to have a break will ask for an extra day or two to get their work done, and if they're given permission, other students would surely ask for it, too, and if they're not given permission, they'd be upset, and then God knows what kind of troubles that could cause. If they were given permissions, it would lead to an endless amount of delaying their school work. At least, that's how I look at it.

Well, I hope your dad gives him permission then o3o;

@Morbid Dollie:

Ahh, that's true, those aren't really the best places for making friends. You don't go anywhere else? Not even the mall or anything? you never know how people may come into your life :D And yes, it would be nice to be friends in real life, too, if we lied closer!

yeah, it makes sense, when you think about it. regular high schools don't teach you much, and then college is so much harder, and the teachers expect more than the kids can do, and then the kids decide that they hate school and don't wanna put in effort- it's a cycle! teachers are supposed to be in this to HELP us, encourage us, and work with us so we can get somewhere in life!

and i hear you! there are times when too much stress and other things get in the way, and it's hard to give school the effort you're used to. my sister is the same way- school was never really her thing. i know it's a lot harder for some kids than others, and i wish the schools would take that into account instead of making things harder or too easy >.>

and haha, yeah, kinda. more like, he did ask, but he still doesn't have my dad's permission, so it's not "official" yet >.< gonna be a while on that one lol. once he gets his act together and starts being a real man, then dad should say ok. it's...interesting ^^;

@jikosangel:

MikuBerry is the favorite on my poll so far XD
Well, I don't get out anywhere besides the grocery store, and occasionally the mall or something. But you can't really make friends there. So, I'm sorta stuck in this situation. But since I have so many friends here, it makes me forget my real life troubles. For the most part XD I'd be your friend, too, if we were in the same place, and went to the same school~

Teachers need to give students a bit more of a break I think. It's no wonder so many kids have low self esteems. If they can't keep up with what their crazy teachers are feeding them, they're going to feel done and incompetent! It's unfair, actually. I do good in school, too, besides math. Except for right now, for this and that reason, I'm never really behind in school. I always get my work done accurately and fast. I feel for my sister, because she's not quite like that D:

Oh, and you're engaged!? Holy crackers! Congratulations <33

@Morbid Dollie:

Ohh, that's cute! mikuberry, huh? :D well that sounds fitting! and i'm glad you like it! i hear you about being lonely- it's harder to get out there and make friends when you aren't around them daily. but you are being saved from all the cliques and drama and crap that regular school brings, and i promise that is a great thing! if you lived out here, i'd be your friend!! i don't have too many real-life friends either, because we're all so busy with school and work or don't live close together any more >.> life is funny that way.

and yeah, she seems to think i have nothing better to do with my week. i'm not, oh, working every day i'm not in school, and running my apt, managing my fiance's schedule and mine, and taking other classes or anything ^^; lol but the real issue is that she just expects too much-i mean, i am a writer, and an artist, and good at school, so i can pretty much keep up with her. but i feel soo bad for the regular kids who aren't good at school, trying to figure out how to keep up with her and do this book! it's so mean to expect that much out of everyone and then make it a huge part of our grade >.>

@jikosangel:

I'm definitely changing my name because I'm tired of "Cloud". But it will probably be "MikuBerry" because I have a reputation as Miku, and I love Miku xD
Yeah, I'm home schooled. Always have been. I like it, because it's safer, but it's lonely. I have no friends in real life at all ;~; I'd KILL to have some friends I could hang out with......

No need to apologize. If you need to vent because she gives you too much work, I totally understand. That's an insane amount of work. I guess she thinks you don't have a personal life, eh? D:

@Morbid Dollie:

haha cloud to cloudberry to ninjaberry? quite the transformation! ^__^ as long as it makes you happy! and you're homeschooled? wow! although it's less social, i think it's much more educational, but how do you like it? i have a couple of friends who are homeschooled too, and i think that's how i wanna do things with my kids when i have them ^^

and yeah, some teachers are crazy! this lady who assigned the making of the children's book also assigns about 100-200 pages of reading PER WEEK for a once a week, 3 hour class >.< i mean, really? like we don't have other classes, work, and other things to do, let alone your project and readings! haha sorry, she drives me nuts. i hope your mom is a much better teacher!! at least she knows if you're busy and what you can handle!

@jikosangel:

Ninja Cloud! I'm considering changing my name, maybe I'll use Linku's suggesting of Ninajberry XD
But I'm glad that my quick responses make you happy~

Teachers can be crazy, I should know. My teacher is my mom after all xD
I'll be patient. I understand the whole busy schedule thing o3o

@Morbid Dollie:

Ahh, you're here again with me ^__^ Good morning! And being ninja makes people happy, doesn't it? such quick, sweet replies <3 love it! and thanks, I can use the well-wishes, with these crazy teachers >.> please be patient as i try to find more time to work on my art until semester's end!!

@jikosangel:

I'm always getting comments on how fast I reply X33
I like being a ninja, and it's even better to know it put a smile on your face, right before bed. I'd rather that than someone crying themselves to sleep >w<

I wish you luck on the book/finals, and I'm excited to see more work <3

@Morbid Dollie:

haha, ninja for sure! ^____^ well, i really appreciate the immediate response- perfect for a big smile as I headed off to bed! thank you :D

and i am soo glad you like it!! i'll try to get back to work here, once this book is done (well, and then 2 papers, and then finals, but i will try!!) have a great day, cloud-chan!!

@jikosangel:

Well, I'm a ninja with that stuff. I always see a new message/dedication/comment right away and get on replying/commenting!

It looks really really good, absolutely perfect! <333

@Morbid Dollie:

^_____^ it didn't even appear on my page yet, so i ran to the portal to find it, and it already has your hug and fave <3 thank you!!

I am so glad you like it!! ^____^ i tried really hard to get a good balance to the colors and details on here. i love the cherry blossom brushes i got!! i forgot i had them, and went crazy with them haha ^^;

and thank you! i am working hard to get it done, one step at a time! erase pencil, scan, save, color, shade, DONE >.> let's do this!! (lol)

Aw, this is so cute! I really really like it! I love the nature-y look to it (xD)
Really, it looks super! <33 Thank you so much! ^3^

Good luck with the scanning and coloring!