I rather like your father's solution to the problem that you mentioned. Where if they didn't have time for the ensemble because of time issues, then they obviously didn't have time for the 'fun' stuff either. That just strikes me as wonderfully ironic and something my own father would say.
As the oldest, I can kind of relate to what you're talking about. Most of us are pretty far apart so when Selene came along, I was already sixteen and I was almost twenty when the last little sister was born.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is I've had the fortune to be both in the work with and 'help out the younger brothers with stuff' deal. And I've also actually helped out more with raising and tending the youngest ones. Free babysitting anyone? lol
You may not be the parent, but I can certainly understand and I completely agree with the stance of not handing them the answers. So I agree with your father reminding them that dropping fun is also necessary too. Though based on your post, it sounds like that's something they're not interested in doing.
Right. And the distinction between leading worship in church and, say, entering the youth orchestra is that the church function is supposed to glorify God, and if you don't have the desire to be there then what's the point?
So in that regard I'd rather they not play since they don't appear to want to. I only do it because I love it and feel led to do it. It shouldn't be a burden.
Except I feel more like "if you don't have a desire to do it you shouldn't do it" instead of "if you don't want to you shouldn't have to" because people have to do all kinds of things they don't want and they still live.
I didn't mean for that to refer to every kind of activity; as I said, homework is different. It's a responsibility.
I meant more like, if it's mostly a hobby - which is something that should be fun for them - then I don't see why they should continue on with it if they no longer enjoy it.
Personally, I don't really care what they do with their time. They could spend all day online or playing games or out with friends and it wouldn't bother me at all. Only thing I get aggravated at is when they do these things and then complain about not having enough time to do homework, and instead of looking for things they are overindulging in or can scale back, they look at what commitments they have and get rid of the ones where they actually do stuff for other people. Because, really, being in the ensemble is technically a community service.
But we agree on the participation thing, really. Except I feel more like "if you don't have a desire to do it you shouldn't do it" instead of "if you don't want to you shouldn't have to" because people have to do all kinds of things they don't want and they still live.
Also my father has already said that if they have to drop out of the ensemble on pretext of needed time, they're also dropping out of the fun Wednesday night activities that miraculously don't conflict with homework at all, because those take far longer in terms of time. They of course immediately protested.
Last edited by Allamorph at 5:16:48 PM EDT on August 18, 2009.
I never had that problem. But then my two older siblings were gone by the time I was old enough to really notice it. So there was never any competition or concern over how time was spent.
However, it annoys me to have stuff sitting undone, so I tend to do it first. I just enjoy goofing off better if I don't have homework waiting to be done. ^^
Vagrant AI (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/18/09 | Reply
Well... anything pertaining to the ensemble, I think it's your sisters' choice whether they keep with it or not. If they don't enjoy it, I don't see why they should be forced to do it.
However, with homework, that's different. I've procrastinated plenty myself on school things, but I recognize that it'd be much better if I just got the homework done FIRST and then did other more distracting things. Therefore, I don't complain when I end up with a ton of homework by the end of the night. I even ended up working out a decent schedule to getting things done while still keeping up with my hobbies and such.
But again... when it comes to that, that's their -- your sisters' -- responsibility and choice. Trust me when I say it is infuriating to have your older brother(s) telling you what to do, whether or not they are right or wrong. No one likes a know-it-all; just leave any of the child-rearin' to your parents. :P
Last edited by Miss Anonymous at 3:09:42 AM EDT on August 18, 2009.
Dr. Mama Cat. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/17/09 | Reply
My parents were pretty strict about what we were allowed in terms of goofing off time. This is something that has carried over and I find myself still doing to this day. For example, if I have assignments or other obligations that aren't done, then my goofing off time is strictly regulated.
I still cycle through stuff like you mentioned, but until required stuff is done, it's kept to short 10-15 minute periods through out the day, and I make sure it doesn't turn into hours, I keep it to say an hour tops, at least until whatever homework or other stuff that needs doing is finished. It's mainly just to give myself a short break.
I never could pull the 'when I was your age' deal on anyone. I was the third child of four and now I'm the youngest. But my older brothers, though they had their moments, still turned out pretty good. =P
But yeah, it's one thing if they really don't have time, and another if it's because they want an excuse to do other activities to the point that they interfere with the important stuff.
I may enjoy my goofing off time, but I absoutely loathe not getting good grades or not having enough time for friends. Though that's why I only just finished beating Dragon Quest VIII after owning it for nearly three years. Work, school and friends come first. :)
~Crystia
Last edited by Indi at 9:34:00 PM EDT on August 17, 2009.
Cure Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/17/09 | Reply
During grade school, it was like that with me and my brother. Then my sister was born and the 'other' things happened and we drifted. It kinda turned to the, "go ahead, stick the keys in the light socket. Find out why we tell you not to." Sorta thing.
In the end, it was not so much a time regulation, but a subject regulation. Ya know, sticking to the ratings and what not.
Though, since all my siblings are close in age to me, I can't really do the whole "When I was your age" stichk. Though my granddad loved that one. Maybe, when I have kids, I'd be the grandparent that does it. Just to spite my granddad.
NNM
Up hill both ways, in the snow, on Sundays, during the summer. And I never complained
It is nice and refreshing to hear this. I'm the youngest so I can see both viewpoints. I wish my parents were more strict with me than they were. I also wish I had better study habits and less addictions. I am going to try to work harder at college this year.
Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat.
That reminds me of how we weren't allowed to own video games, ever, when I was younger, but now my youngest brother can barely think of a life without Playstation or internet not blocked by the AOL filter of fail or even cable... and then whines when he is barred from such things. = =
Nathan
Good Old Reliable | Posted 08/20/09 | Reply
I rather like your father's solution to the problem that you mentioned. Where if they didn't have time for the ensemble because of time issues, then they obviously didn't have time for the 'fun' stuff either. That just strikes me as wonderfully ironic and something my own father would say.
As the oldest, I can kind of relate to what you're talking about. Most of us are pretty far apart so when Selene came along, I was already sixteen and I was almost twenty when the last little sister was born.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is I've had the fortune to be both in the work with and 'help out the younger brothers with stuff' deal. And I've also actually helped out more with raising and tending the youngest ones. Free babysitting anyone? lol
You may not be the parent, but I can certainly understand and I completely agree with the stance of not handing them the answers. So I agree with your father reminding them that dropping fun is also necessary too. Though based on your post, it sounds like that's something they're not interested in doing.
Allamorph
Spiritus Memorae (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/18/09 | Reply
@Miss Anonymous:
Right. And the distinction between leading worship in church and, say, entering the youth orchestra is that the church function is supposed to glorify God, and if you don't have the desire to be there then what's the point?
So in that regard I'd rather they not play since they don't appear to want to. I only do it because I love it and feel led to do it. It shouldn't be a burden.
Miss Anonymous
Vagrant AI (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/18/09 | Reply
@Allamorph:
Except I feel more like "if you don't have a desire to do it you shouldn't do it" instead of "if you don't want to you shouldn't have to" because people have to do all kinds of things they don't want and they still live.
I didn't mean for that to refer to every kind of activity; as I said, homework is different. It's a responsibility.
I meant more like, if it's mostly a hobby - which is something that should be fun for them - then I don't see why they should continue on with it if they no longer enjoy it.
Allamorph
Spiritus Memorae (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/18/09 | Reply
@Miss Anonymous:
Personally, I don't really care what they do with their time. They could spend all day online or playing games or out with friends and it wouldn't bother me at all. Only thing I get aggravated at is when they do these things and then complain about not having enough time to do homework, and instead of looking for things they are overindulging in or can scale back, they look at what commitments they have and get rid of the ones where they actually do stuff for other people. Because, really, being in the ensemble is technically a community service.
But we agree on the participation thing, really. Except I feel more like "if you don't have a desire to do it you shouldn't do it" instead of "if you don't want to you shouldn't have to" because people have to do all kinds of things they don't want and they still live.
Also my father has already said that if they have to drop out of the ensemble on pretext of needed time, they're also dropping out of the fun Wednesday night activities that miraculously don't conflict with homework at all, because those take far longer in terms of time. They of course immediately protested.
Last edited by Allamorph at 5:16:48 PM EDT on August 18, 2009.
Aaryanna
Otaku Legend | Posted 08/18/09 | Reply
I never had that problem. But then my two older siblings were gone by the time I was old enough to really notice it. So there was never any competition or concern over how time was spent.
However, it annoys me to have stuff sitting undone, so I tend to do it first. I just enjoy goofing off better if I don't have homework waiting to be done. ^^
~*Aaryanna*~
Miss Anonymous
Vagrant AI (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/18/09 | Reply
Well... anything pertaining to the ensemble, I think it's your sisters' choice whether they keep with it or not. If they don't enjoy it, I don't see why they should be forced to do it.
However, with homework, that's different. I've procrastinated plenty myself on school things, but I recognize that it'd be much better if I just got the homework done FIRST and then did other more distracting things. Therefore, I don't complain when I end up with a ton of homework by the end of the night. I even ended up working out a decent schedule to getting things done while still keeping up with my hobbies and such.
But again... when it comes to that, that's their -- your sisters' -- responsibility and choice. Trust me when I say it is infuriating to have your older brother(s) telling you what to do, whether or not they are right or wrong. No one likes a know-it-all; just leave any of the child-rearin' to your parents. :P
Last edited by Miss Anonymous at 3:09:42 AM EDT on August 18, 2009.
Indi
Dr. Mama Cat. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/17/09 | Reply
My parents were pretty strict about what we were allowed in terms of goofing off time. This is something that has carried over and I find myself still doing to this day. For example, if I have assignments or other obligations that aren't done, then my goofing off time is strictly regulated.
I still cycle through stuff like you mentioned, but until required stuff is done, it's kept to short 10-15 minute periods through out the day, and I make sure it doesn't turn into hours, I keep it to say an hour tops, at least until whatever homework or other stuff that needs doing is finished. It's mainly just to give myself a short break.
I never could pull the 'when I was your age' deal on anyone. I was the third child of four and now I'm the youngest. But my older brothers, though they had their moments, still turned out pretty good. =P
But yeah, it's one thing if they really don't have time, and another if it's because they want an excuse to do other activities to the point that they interfere with the important stuff.
I may enjoy my goofing off time, but I absoutely loathe not getting good grades or not having enough time for friends. Though that's why I only just finished beating Dragon Quest VIII after owning it for nearly three years. Work, school and friends come first. :)
~Crystia
Last edited by Indi at 9:34:00 PM EDT on August 17, 2009.
Neko Nana Mode
Cure Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/17/09 | Reply
During grade school, it was like that with me and my brother. Then my sister was born and the 'other' things happened and we drifted. It kinda turned to the, "go ahead, stick the keys in the light socket. Find out why we tell you not to." Sorta thing.
In the end, it was not so much a time regulation, but a subject regulation. Ya know, sticking to the ratings and what not.
Though, since all my siblings are close in age to me, I can't really do the whole "When I was your age" stichk. Though my granddad loved that one. Maybe, when I have kids, I'd be the grandparent that does it. Just to spite my granddad.
NNM
Up hill both ways, in the snow, on Sundays, during the summer. And I never complained
Japan
Bagel Gurl | Posted 08/17/09 | Reply
It is nice and refreshing to hear this. I'm the youngest so I can see both viewpoints. I wish my parents were more strict with me than they were. I also wish I had better study habits and less addictions. I am going to try to work harder at college this year.
Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat.
Nehszriah
Hits Self With Axe (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 08/17/09 | Reply
That reminds me of how we weren't allowed to own video games, ever, when I was younger, but now my youngest brother can barely think of a life without Playstation or internet not blocked by the AOL filter of fail or even cable... and then whines when he is barred from such things. = =
Be true, be you and of course, be otaku.