@kita mikichi:

*Hugs back.* You're welcome!

@Keba Si Rota:

TuT I'm so happy to hear you say that! *hugs you* Thank you for reading!!

Well, it's a little after 12:30 am, and I finished So Distant. I just couldn't "put it down" so to speak. I cried. I smiled. I'm still a little teary-eyed. It's a very engaging story.

@Keba Si Rota:

I've got all the big scene jumps marked now. Is that helping?

@Keba Si Rota:

Some of the scene change difficulty results from my editing (I took out something in the specific part you mentioned) and theO's formatting. It's slightly easier to separate the paragraphs on DA, and in my original version in Word, I have several lines to indicate scene changes.

Thank you so much for your feedback!! It helps a lot, and I will adjust them! Also glad to hear that it's getting an emotional response and that you're enjoying it. ^-^

I'm up to chapter 9 now. And I'm a little teary-eyed.

I noticed that it's a little hard to tell when the scenes change. Maybe you could indicate it with dashes or asterisks.

In chapter 9, when the scene changes from Haruko and her mother to Shizuyo driving Naoyuki home, it threw me off a bit because you start the first sentence of the new paragraph with "she". I wasn't sure who "she" is. Maybe you should change it to "Shizuyo drives home late at night".

Other than that, I'm really enjoying the story. Having been a victim of bullying myself, I can relate to Naoyuki a little. Obviously, Naoyuki has it much worse, since I was hardly ever physically beat up. Anyway, I find the scenes with Naoyuki being bullied are the most powerful.

@Keba Si Rota:

Thanks for letting me know; I'll go fix that! Also, thanks for the feedback. :)

I set it in Japan because I based the story around a Japanese character, basically. ^^' The character ideas usually come to me first, then I build the story. In Naoyuki's case, this story wound up this way because I came up with the idea of this character who chooses not to speak, and when I thought of the reasons behind that, this is what I came up with (along with the help of just enough psychology research to make it believable).

I'm up to chapter 6 now (I noticed you forgot to put an indication that this is the page for chapter 6).

The flashbacks of Naoyuki being too scared to say his lines and then being bullied made me want to cry a little. I found that part really powerful.

I have a question, too. Why did you decide to set this story in Japan?

@Keba Si Rota:

All right! If you see it again, let me know, and I'll fix it. The typo in chapter 1 is already corrected. :)

@kita mikichi:

You know, I thought I had seen another typo in one of the following chapters, but I can't seem to find it. Sorry about that.

@Keba Si Rota:

Okay, thank you!

@kita mikichi:

Chapter 1: "She tries to but a Band-Aid to his face" (Should be put.)

Unfortunately, when I go to the next page, the comment box goes away. I might have to make several comments.

@Keba Si Rota:

Thank you! And yes, that would be great! ^^

I just want you to know that I'm reading what you posted of So Distant. I find it very touching and sweet.

I found a couple typos. Would you like me to point them out to you?