Hello, Moka.
I am sort of facing a "What should I do?" issue and I want your opinion on it.
Dear Moka,
There is this person in my school, one whom I do not like at all but I could possibly help him in a way? I don't know. Long story short, there is this girl that he likes, and she doesn't like him that much, but has lately been being nicer to him.
And I heard from the local gossip (whom I strongly dislike) that the girl (who is currently in a relationship)'s boyfriend has been cheating on her. Now I don't like to get in peoples' business but I was wondering if I should let her know what I heard. Now I really hate gossip, and I've been in situations before where it has caused someone to try and fight me, but what if I sort of deflect the attention from me (because I know how this works) and to the person who said it, then would I be doing a good thing?
I'm really confused about this whole thing, I really want to stay out of it, but at the same time I don't like seeing things go wrong and not say anything.
Signed,
Speeding Bullet.
Dear Speeding Bullet,
I understand exactly what you're talking about. I know that you would like to help these people out, and that's a good thing. The girl. She needs to know about what is going around regarding her boyfriend. Leaving her out of the know about such a serious possibility would be cruel. If you care about this girl whatsoever, you should tell her. It may cause problems, though. Be aware of the fact that she will likely think you're lying (unless, of course, you're close enough to her so that she trusts your opinion), so, if you decide to tell her, do not be shocked if she gets upset and angry and denies everything. Here’s a tip, though: Gather more information first. Don’t tell her anything without knowing things such as who the other girl might be, what exactly they have done, etc. Details that will be important when and if she confronts her boyfriend.
It's a tough decision, I know. Being the "man" and telling her the truth. You may risk ending her relationship with a non-cheating boyfriend, or you could save her from further hurt and pain. She could end up thanking you for telling her.
However, if you decide to not tell her directly, find somebody that you know she knows well enough, and have them break the bad news to her.
As for the boy that you first mentioned, I would help him purely out of the kindness of your heart. You may not like this guy very much, but a little kindness goes a long way. If he knows that she has a boyfriend, then all he can really do is just wait until they split up before he (gently and suttly) makes his move. Picks her up off of her feet, dries her tears, and makes her happy once more.
If you have anything else you would like to know, just PM me and we can continue this privately~ Thanks for submitting!
-Moka
Dear Moka,
Hi. Im having some personal problems with friends. You see, all three of my close friends ended up in the same class. Except for me. I didn't have a problem with it, until they started becoming friends with this other girl (Which i will refer to as "S").
My close friend sits with S, and they have become friends. like, best friends. I didn't really care, since i was friends with S since elementary, but it seems like shes stealing my close friend away from me. They told me im overreacting, and i believed her, until today.
I ran up to my friend this morning, but she didn't say a word to me. Not even a "Hi". Then S walks up to her and my friend starts talking to her, with a smile and everything, ignoring me when i try to say something. I admit that I'm a yandere, so of course i get jealous and storm off. My friend then starts saying that im overreacting again and that i should get over it, then leaves for class.
I haven't talked to her, for the whole day, and I feel really neglected. I also kind of avoided her because im not good with feelings and i cry really really easily.
I feel like she hates me now, and that shes replacing me with S. I'm in a different class from all of them, so its not helping, either.
What should I do?
From,
Overly Attached Yandere
Dear Overly Attached Yandere,
I can TOTALLY relate to how you feel right now. The exact thing has been happening to me for a couple of months now. Just recently my used-to-be BFF just suddenly turned on me for who knows what reason? I dunno, and I don't think I ever will.
I would have to say that...if you have any classes with S or you have any times where you can see her, then I would actually try and become friends with S. Assuming that you like her, that is. I can see why you would be jealous since, after all, your closest friend has started ignoring you for her. Maybe it's because you two have become so strained since they began talking, and she feels like you don't want to be friends?
I'm also assuming that you're in high school, right? I want you to remember this: People change in high school. Believe me when I say that by the time you graduate (if you're not already in your senior year) that you will not hang out with the people that you hung out with freshman year. That's a rare thing to happen to somebody.
So, if you feel desperate enough, sit down with your friend and talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Make an agreement that she won't walk way or make fun of you if you start to cry (because you probably will.) You can't just go on without taking some sort of action. You can't avoid this drama.
HOWEVER. You can handle it in a mature manner. If all goes well with talking to your friend and she starts listening to you again, then all's good!! On the flip side, if things go wrong and she starts hating you, hey. Just blow it off. Show her that she can't hurt you. I'm sure that you have other friends at your school that you can hang with and maybe get closer to. Just.........don't let this bring you down, okay? There are so many people out there that you can become friends with. Not just those who attend school with you. Believe me.
Anyways, just give it a try. First try and become friends with S. Try and do things with just the two of you like go and see a movie, go to the mall, who knows? You may eventually become BFFs. But...if it doesn't work out, then just leave them. True friends wouldn't do what they're doing to you.
Hope this helps!
-Moka
Question: So, I know two guys.
Guy one: Generally sweet, nice to everyone and has some things about him that I found interesting. He seems to indirectly notice whenever I cry, though doesn't really do much. Conversations between us are interesting and engaging. However, we have different opinions on a variety of things, especially regarding anime (he considers it a waste of time, and will roll his eyes whenever I mention it). He also doesn't pay a lot of attention to me.
Guy two: Notorious for being "Hard to get". He doesn't flirt, doesn't pay attention to (most) girls, and refuses to ask anyone on a date. However, he's funny, pays more attention to me on a day-to-day basis, and, although not a complete otaku himself, he is half-Japanese and loves his heritage (considering he spent part of his life in Japan), and so understands whenever I mention my love for anime/Japan. (Oh, yeah. And he's nice. Though I can't really describe him as "sweet").
Were I to pursue one of these guys, which one should I pursue?
Signed,
Kitty Kat
Dear Kitty Cat,
This really does seem like a tough dilemma. Both guys have qualities that would definitely make me want to go out with them. However, I feel that you should focus more on who you see yourself happier with.
Guy Number 2 would make a great best friend, but given that he refuses to even ask anybody on a date, I wouldn't go for him (unless you hate dates. Then that's not going to be an issue.)
Guy Number One...I feel that you can make things work with him. I would say to strike a deal with him or something so that you may at least talk about anime with him without him rolling his eyes and possibly upsetting you.
I can see that you're trying to focus on the good qualities of these boys. However, before you make a decision, you may want to think about their flaws. Like, whether or not one of them gets violent when angry, or how they react to not getting what they want. Those factors are HUUUUGE when it comes to men. A boy may be a complete gentleman to a lady, have the looks of an angel, yet at the same time he may be cruel and abusive deep down. Men tend to show their good side around women so as to attract them, and then once they feel like they should, they stop hiding who they really are.
Who knows? They may both be well-mannered and respectful inside and out. However, if I were to make a choice based solely off of the information given to me, I would have to say that Guy Number 1 would be best for you. He seems like he would definitely make a better life partner than somebody who chooses not to think about having romantic dates and such with girls.
Just go with what your heart says. If you still can't decide, I suppose that you could flip a coin. You will automatically know who you want because you'll be thinking "Oh, I hope I get Guy # __!!!" That way, you will know who you want. Hope this helps!!!
Sincerely,
Moka
