I love reading your posts! Why do you think I always read them and comment, hmm? It is a sad situation all around. I know from being looked down upon and teased all my life, it is kind of hard to shut it out. Yeah it may not be true but when you are told SEVERAL times from various people about how you're dumb or a loser, you start to believe it. On your good days you may just shove it off and shrug your shoulders but on a bad day that is all you tell yourself. So whenever I'm depressed I go down that spiral of repeating all the lies I've been told about me and things that make me unhappy.
I can see where both parties are coming from...HOWEVER as you have stated, it may be the case where she is brainwashed and conditioned...or the emotional attachment is still there so she can't quite leave him entirely. I had this issue with a guy who was emotionally abusive to me. He was all sweet, funny and caring but the moment I stepped out of line he got scary and threatened to stop talking to me, etc. He was a pathological liar, too. Either way, I do hope that she made the right decision and that the same mistakes are not repeated yet again. (Sorry for the spammy comment! ^^;; )
Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat.
Madman With a Box (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/11/13 | Reply
It is sad that in a lot of ways we still have so far to go on social issues like this.
I'm reminded of an episode of Touched by an Angel I saw recently involving domestic abuse. The husband was abusing his wife and all of the things you talked about were prevalent: his apologies, her accepting that it was somehow her fault. But when he finally went berserk and was about to kill her, her sister defended her by shooting the husband. He later died and the sister faced a murder charge. She thought her sister would confirm what happened, that she was defending her from imminent danger, but the wife was so brainwashed by the abuse that she basically lied to the police and told them it was cold blooded murder, but in her head at the time I'm sure she really believed it because she had been conditioned by the abuse to accept that nothing in her family dynamic was wrong. It took the angels' intervention, her remembrance of abuse at the hands of her father, and the realization that her son was starting to act out just like her husband to get her to admit that things were not right.
Its all about conditioning. Victims are conditioned to believe they deserve it and its their fault, and even a large portion of society is conditioned to respond in a similar way, displacing blame onto the victim, or believing that the abuser is essentially a good man that deserves another chance, when in a lot of cases this is just not true.
Last edited by TimeChaser at 9:00:28 AM EST on February 11, 2013.
bellpickle
Pickle of the Year (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/13/13 | Reply
@Japan:
Aww, thank you for the support! ^^
And I'm glad you got out of that relationship, it sounded pretty harmful for you...
Japan
Bagel Gurl | Posted 02/11/13 | Reply
I love reading your posts! Why do you think I always read them and comment, hmm? It is a sad situation all around. I know from being looked down upon and teased all my life, it is kind of hard to shut it out. Yeah it may not be true but when you are told SEVERAL times from various people about how you're dumb or a loser, you start to believe it. On your good days you may just shove it off and shrug your shoulders but on a bad day that is all you tell yourself. So whenever I'm depressed I go down that spiral of repeating all the lies I've been told about me and things that make me unhappy.
I can see where both parties are coming from...HOWEVER as you have stated, it may be the case where she is brainwashed and conditioned...or the emotional attachment is still there so she can't quite leave him entirely. I had this issue with a guy who was emotionally abusive to me. He was all sweet, funny and caring but the moment I stepped out of line he got scary and threatened to stop talking to me, etc. He was a pathological liar, too. Either way, I do hope that she made the right decision and that the same mistakes are not repeated yet again. (Sorry for the spammy comment! ^^;; )
Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat.
TimeChaser
Madman With a Box (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/11/13 | Reply
It is sad that in a lot of ways we still have so far to go on social issues like this.
I'm reminded of an episode of Touched by an Angel I saw recently involving domestic abuse. The husband was abusing his wife and all of the things you talked about were prevalent: his apologies, her accepting that it was somehow her fault. But when he finally went berserk and was about to kill her, her sister defended her by shooting the husband. He later died and the sister faced a murder charge. She thought her sister would confirm what happened, that she was defending her from imminent danger, but the wife was so brainwashed by the abuse that she basically lied to the police and told them it was cold blooded murder, but in her head at the time I'm sure she really believed it because she had been conditioned by the abuse to accept that nothing in her family dynamic was wrong. It took the angels' intervention, her remembrance of abuse at the hands of her father, and the realization that her son was starting to act out just like her husband to get her to admit that things were not right.
Its all about conditioning. Victims are conditioned to believe they deserve it and its their fault, and even a large portion of society is conditioned to respond in a similar way, displacing blame onto the victim, or believing that the abuser is essentially a good man that deserves another chance, when in a lot of cases this is just not true.
Last edited by TimeChaser at 9:00:28 AM EST on February 11, 2013.
Bazinga!