I hate it when parent do some shopping for you and keeps telling you about it over and over again. If he was that much upset about spending Money, he shouldn't have bought them from the start, didn't he.
I think you shouldn't give up and stop trying to be happy. If we have some hope in our lives everything comes out ok after some time.(my lack of english speaks, dont even know if i wrote sentences right) Anyways, if life were always happy and normal we wouldn't understand happiness' meaning. I read the commnents too, if he can't syop doing that just ignore him and behave like it didn't happen.
I'm 20, I'm also not allowed to go out of my home without my brother or Dad. While our culture has it's restrictions, I think my parents can be more liberal.
Thank you, it makes me feel better to know that you understand. I'm also 20, and I'm also still at home, and the only time I'll be allowed to leave is when I'll be getting married! And, I'm also not allowed to have a job, so it's hard to get by with only pocket money. I sometimes feel like a burden to my parents.
Unfortunately, I have feared my parents since I was very little, it's past the point of recovery. I'm afraid of their scoldings, and their disappointments. I always struggle to make everything perfect for them, but I still end up making mistakes like the one I made yesterday. And, that wrecks me from the inside.
Also, I do hold a grudge against them, because they didn't let me study the profession of my choice. Ofcourse I wanted to go into arts but I'm stuck doing home economics. I hate every single subject at my college, but I'm getting by. Every time, something goes wrong at college, I literally curse my parents.
I do love my parents, they're giving me a home to live in, clothes to wear, to eat, and all these other things. But, they took the things I wanted most, so I do hold a grudge. I don't even know how to take it back, how the accept the situation I'm in and how to be happy with what I have. I'm always in a disturbed space. And, I don't know how to come back from it.
Thank you. I'm not allowed to have a job, so I have no way to save money. Every year, I try to buy all the things I need from the money my uncles and aunts give us on Eid(a festival like Christmas), but it's also not that much. I try to get by.
Thank you, I feel much better now.^^ I think my Dad already realises that he's a meanie sometimes, but I think he can't help it, exaggerating and condescending are two things my Dad does without even without thinking, he's like a big baby sometimes. I don't know, it's been pretty dense with him. And, I want to stay in the invisible limits that he's set for me.
Yeah, a bag and shoes that are absolutely necessary aren't spoiling, it's basic child care. It's not like you were asking for designer stuff or a pair of shoes and a bag for each outfit you have, so his words really aren't appropriate. Next time he says something like this, you can just reply with "Well then, I'll go to school barefoot! The neighbors will love that!" or "I'll just carry all my things in a bedsheet then! Never mind you'll spend 3x as much on new books when I inevitably drop them and get them dirty!"
I've never had the "spoil you too much" argument with my folks in relation to objects but, speaking from experience, focusing on the useful/functional part of objects (as opposed to the aesthetic one) works better. *hugs* Good luck, and sorry that you had to go through something like that :(
I've been in this situation before, with my parents. I've spoken up about my feelings and opinions and I get stomped down because of what I say out loud. It doesn't take long for me to learn from these types of situations either, so I shut up after only two times of having my opinion slapped away. But recently I spoke up to my mom about some issues and it was actually the right thing to do :) My dad has started to listen to me more and my mom is also understanding how I feel. I think sometimes it is better to stay quiet though. My dad also has been uptight with money... the last time he got upset at me is because he was nagging me to pay rent (I'm 20 and living at home still). Anyway I just made him happy and kept to myself. And stuff really does hurt like this, I feel ya!! But take your time to calm down and reset yourself. Learn from this but don't hold a grudge or fear. It is a great thing that you love your parents and honor them, and I totally believe that everything will work out for you. Its a good thing that you ranted here because that does help <3 *hugs*
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Your father had no right to say that at all. Whether he spoils you or not, those are his decisions and his fault, not yours. You deserve to be happy; and honestly, silence is not the solution to everything. It's great that you are being aware of what you need and don't need. However, don't keep quiet.
Perhaps you can talk to your dad about it?: how you feel when he made that rude comment and that you're grateful for the things that you have. Maybe there is some way to sort things out? The thing that I learned after going through depression is that silence is never the answer; talking is. The situation will still be the same if you don't express how you feel.
While you should be happy with what you have, it is perfectly okay to want things. It's okay to complain sometimes. Not all the time, but every once and awhile isn't so bad. And if you need something, don't stay quiet about it. It pisses me off when parents don't put the needs of their kids before their own needs. That's their job as a parent. Do you have a job? Maybe start putting away any extra money for the things you need?
oh no! i'm so sorry that you are going through this. You are amazing and you do deserve things once in a while. You deserve to be happy! just keep in mind! You are strong and a great person and just think you can soon be on your own and explore life the way you want to. parents dont think about what they say half the time. I'm sure he will eventually realize that he isn't always as nice as he should be. Don't stop being happy cause you deserve it
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 06/05/14 | Reply
@aurora witch:
Thank you, I appreciate your thoughts. Everything seems so tough sometimes, but you're right everything will turn out ok in the end. :)
nikkeh09
~Nikkeh~ (Grand Otaku) | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
well we all care about you here and know how awesome you are so don't worry. ^^
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
Oh, I didn't realize there was a cultural difference. that makes me understand a lot better now.
aurora witch
Endless Witch (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
I hate it when parent do some shopping for you and keeps telling you about it over and over again. If he was that much upset about spending Money, he shouldn't have bought them from the start, didn't he.
I think you shouldn't give up and stop trying to be happy. If we have some hope in our lives everything comes out ok after some time.(my lack of english speaks, dont even know if i wrote sentences right) Anyways, if life were always happy and normal we wouldn't understand happiness' meaning. I read the commnents too, if he can't syop doing that just ignore him and behave like it didn't happen.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
@DemonsandAngels:
I'm 20, I'm also not allowed to go out of my home without my brother or Dad. While our culture has it's restrictions, I think my parents can be more liberal.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
@MangaKid:
Thank you, it makes me feel better to know that you understand. I'm also 20, and I'm also still at home, and the only time I'll be allowed to leave is when I'll be getting married! And, I'm also not allowed to have a job, so it's hard to get by with only pocket money. I sometimes feel like a burden to my parents.
Unfortunately, I have feared my parents since I was very little, it's past the point of recovery. I'm afraid of their scoldings, and their disappointments. I always struggle to make everything perfect for them, but I still end up making mistakes like the one I made yesterday. And, that wrecks me from the inside.
Also, I do hold a grudge against them, because they didn't let me study the profession of my choice. Ofcourse I wanted to go into arts but I'm stuck doing home economics. I hate every single subject at my college, but I'm getting by. Every time, something goes wrong at college, I literally curse my parents.
I do love my parents, they're giving me a home to live in, clothes to wear, to eat, and all these other things. But, they took the things I wanted most, so I do hold a grudge. I don't even know how to take it back, how the accept the situation I'm in and how to be happy with what I have. I'm always in a disturbed space. And, I don't know how to come back from it.
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
Wait... why aren't you allowed to have a job?
How old are you?
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
@sweetdevil:
Hahaha, I loved your retorts, but talking like this would get my Dad fuming mad at me. xD So, I'd rather not say anything...>.>
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
@DemonsandAngels:
Thank you. I'm not allowed to have a job, so I have no way to save money. Every year, I try to buy all the things I need from the money my uncles and aunts give us on Eid(a festival like Christmas), but it's also not that much. I try to get by.
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
@nikkeh09:
Thank you, I feel much better now.^^ I think my Dad already realises that he's a meanie sometimes, but I think he can't help it, exaggerating and condescending are two things my Dad does without even without thinking, he's like a big baby sometimes. I don't know, it's been pretty dense with him. And, I want to stay in the invisible limits that he's set for me.
sweetdevil
Embracing Insanity (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/03/14 | Reply
Yeah, a bag and shoes that are absolutely necessary aren't spoiling, it's basic child care. It's not like you were asking for designer stuff or a pair of shoes and a bag for each outfit you have, so his words really aren't appropriate. Next time he says something like this, you can just reply with "Well then, I'll go to school barefoot! The neighbors will love that!" or "I'll just carry all my things in a bedsheet then! Never mind you'll spend 3x as much on new books when I inevitably drop them and get them dirty!"
I've never had the "spoil you too much" argument with my folks in relation to objects but, speaking from experience, focusing on the useful/functional part of objects (as opposed to the aesthetic one) works better. *hugs* Good luck, and sorry that you had to go through something like that :(
MangaKid
Otaku Legend | Posted 06/02/14 | Reply
I've been in this situation before, with my parents. I've spoken up about my feelings and opinions and I get stomped down because of what I say out loud. It doesn't take long for me to learn from these types of situations either, so I shut up after only two times of having my opinion slapped away. But recently I spoke up to my mom about some issues and it was actually the right thing to do :) My dad has started to listen to me more and my mom is also understanding how I feel. I think sometimes it is better to stay quiet though. My dad also has been uptight with money... the last time he got upset at me is because he was nagging me to pay rent (I'm 20 and living at home still). Anyway I just made him happy and kept to myself. And stuff really does hurt like this, I feel ya!! But take your time to calm down and reset yourself. Learn from this but don't hold a grudge or fear. It is a great thing that you love your parents and honor them, and I totally believe that everything will work out for you. Its a good thing that you ranted here because that does help <3 *hugs*
NinjaBluez
Otakuite++ | Posted 06/02/14 | Reply
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Your father had no right to say that at all. Whether he spoils you or not, those are his decisions and his fault, not yours. You deserve to be happy; and honestly, silence is not the solution to everything. It's great that you are being aware of what you need and don't need. However, don't keep quiet.
Perhaps you can talk to your dad about it?: how you feel when he made that rude comment and that you're grateful for the things that you have. Maybe there is some way to sort things out? The thing that I learned after going through depression is that silence is never the answer; talking is. The situation will still be the same if you don't express how you feel.
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/02/14 | Reply
While you should be happy with what you have, it is perfectly okay to want things. It's okay to complain sometimes. Not all the time, but every once and awhile isn't so bad. And if you need something, don't stay quiet about it. It pisses me off when parents don't put the needs of their kids before their own needs. That's their job as a parent. Do you have a job? Maybe start putting away any extra money for the things you need?
nikkeh09
~Nikkeh~ (Grand Otaku) | Posted 06/02/14 | Reply
oh no! i'm so sorry that you are going through this. You are amazing and you do deserve things once in a while. You deserve to be happy! just keep in mind! You are strong and a great person and just think you can soon be on your own and explore life the way you want to. parents dont think about what they say half the time. I'm sure he will eventually realize that he isn't always as nice as he should be. Don't stop being happy cause you deserve it
Yukkiteru
Otakuite++ | Posted 06/02/14 | Reply
@Hifsa:
I like corn too, your point is?
Hifsa
Otaku Legend | Posted 06/02/14 | Reply
@Yukkiteru:
Such a corny reply. :P I no like radishes much.
Yukkiteru
Otakuite++ | Posted 06/02/14 | Reply
I yawned when reading this, I've only been awake 4 hours too. Myah. A rantish, it's a radish. I like radishes. Sometimes.