Wow! I'm really impressed with the setting you built here. Even without other characters or dialogue, you built the character of Richard well, and his despair and loneliness really came across. I'd definitely like to see you do more with this.
Oooooooooh. Yes yes. Good good. ^_^ I like how you use short choppy paragraphs, and i'm glad you use different adjectives, I hate when people are overly repetitive... Keep it up!
NightBeck
Otaku Eternal | Posted 07/28/08 | Reply
Wow! I'm really impressed with the setting you built here. Even without other characters or dialogue, you built the character of Richard well, and his despair and loneliness really came across. I'd definitely like to see you do more with this.
Anomaly
Internet Champion (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/23/08 | Reply
Last two lines - awesome. I liked that you kept the same references throughout, made for an interesting read.
It made me picture a man who was sort of lost in his mind so it was choppy as a protection mechanism, perhaps?
Kaerlyn
Tea pixie (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 07/23/08 | Reply
Oooooooooh. Yes yes. Good good. ^_^ I like how you use short choppy paragraphs, and i'm glad you use different adjectives, I hate when people are overly repetitive... Keep it up!