I'm doing it more for the both of us. Because even though I don't know whether she is going to come back or not, I want to prepare for that. We've told each other we wouldn't date anybody else if this were to happen. Now, I don't know about her, but I tend to keep close to that. I don't see it as a noble move or anything like that, but I need to better myself and I want to start off by keeping that promise. I know I haven't been good with those, but I need to start.
It wouldn't have been a loss if I had just been nicer to her... I just want to try again. Even if that just means saying "Hi" once a day until it progressively becomes a sentence, you know? I mean yeah I was an ass, a little rude at times, and so on. I get why she wouldn't want to come back to me. All in all I wasn't great and she even said I was acting like her ex. I didn't realize it well enough until after we broke up. That's like when everything just "hit me". I was an ass to her, I was selfish, I was rude and I want to change all that for her. And in the process it'll help me change myself. I honestly would just prefer if we went back to just dating online (if we ever do) until I am ready to prove myself in real life. And believe me, I get that I need to just let go and move on. But, like I've previously stated, it's just not that simple when you've been with someone for so long.
That's what I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to like smother her or anything though... if anything I've started becoming less of what I really am. I feel my lifestyle is changing. Not because I'm doing it for her, but it's more of I'm just getting bored with what I do honestly. I just wish she'd just see that and think. It's not like I want to get back with her like right now, I would love to be with her, but it's more I'm just trying to fix myself right now. I kind of wish she would just give it some thought instead of saying "No". When she left it was for the both of us to get better for each other. I want to stick with that because I know her. I know she still has feelings for me, whether she wants to be with me or not right now. So I just wish she'd at least just continue talking to me. But I'm just leaving her alone right now like she wants.
She was literally the best thing in my life, regardless of what happened between us...
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be ranting like this, but I really miss her.
xXShayde WolfXx
Otakuite++ | Posted 10/10/16 | Reply
@:
I'm doing it more for the both of us. Because even though I don't know whether she is going to come back or not, I want to prepare for that. We've told each other we wouldn't date anybody else if this were to happen. Now, I don't know about her, but I tend to keep close to that. I don't see it as a noble move or anything like that, but I need to better myself and I want to start off by keeping that promise. I know I haven't been good with those, but I need to start.
Sorry, I'm ranting again...
xXShayde WolfXx
Otakuite++ | Posted 10/10/16 | Reply
@:
It wouldn't have been a loss if I had just been nicer to her... I just want to try again. Even if that just means saying "Hi" once a day until it progressively becomes a sentence, you know? I mean yeah I was an ass, a little rude at times, and so on. I get why she wouldn't want to come back to me. All in all I wasn't great and she even said I was acting like her ex. I didn't realize it well enough until after we broke up. That's like when everything just "hit me". I was an ass to her, I was selfish, I was rude and I want to change all that for her. And in the process it'll help me change myself. I honestly would just prefer if we went back to just dating online (if we ever do) until I am ready to prove myself in real life. And believe me, I get that I need to just let go and move on. But, like I've previously stated, it's just not that simple when you've been with someone for so long.
xXShayde WolfXx
Otakuite++ | Posted 10/10/16 | Reply
@:
That's what I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to like smother her or anything though... if anything I've started becoming less of what I really am. I feel my lifestyle is changing. Not because I'm doing it for her, but it's more of I'm just getting bored with what I do honestly. I just wish she'd just see that and think. It's not like I want to get back with her like right now, I would love to be with her, but it's more I'm just trying to fix myself right now. I kind of wish she would just give it some thought instead of saying "No". When she left it was for the both of us to get better for each other. I want to stick with that because I know her. I know she still has feelings for me, whether she wants to be with me or not right now. So I just wish she'd at least just continue talking to me. But I'm just leaving her alone right now like she wants.
She was literally the best thing in my life, regardless of what happened between us...
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be ranting like this, but I really miss her.
xXShayde WolfXx
Otakuite++ | Posted 10/10/16 | Reply
@:
Believe me, I've been trying... it's really hard not to.