I'm sorry if my intentions upset you and I really appreciate your concerns, but if it comes to that, then it comes to that. At this point I don't care what happens to me. I know the general logical thing to do is continue in life, but I'm not within that normality anymore... my mentality, my sanity has dropped to a lower definition. My insecurity is peaking higher than it normally has. Honestly, the only thing that's keeping me around is the fact that I can't let go... once that happens I truly don't know what's going to happen.
Ok. first off, I actually find that a little offensive and not because it's fucking "#2016". I don't compare myself to a god damn stereotypical bullshit subculture. Yeah, I used to contribute my share of the "scene" hype when I was younger and I may still listen to "emo bands" today, but 90% of that shit is assholes just trying to get attention as they go through their "teenage angst", finding any fucking excuse to get their emotional nut off.
Second off, you do not know me. I appreciate the fact that you're trying to show me the way to having a happier life, but stop. Please stop that. My depression is far more than a fucking cry session a day, a slit of the wrist. I've had suicidal tendencies, I've been on prescribed medication, I've been to therapy, I've had people tell me there's always a better way, I've had fucking teachers tell me there's no hope for me growing up, there's no way I'd be stable, the reason of my existence is for naught, I have been racially abused growing up at different periods of my life. There's a fucking lot I can say about myself that you wouldn't understand and even if you did you should know better than to judge someone. It's not that fucking easy to just get over something you cherish and love. Yeah, I sucked at showing it, I wasn't exactly the nicest fucking person, but I was at least willing to change in the end just to have that back.
So don't act like everything is hunky-dory in my future. It'll be that when it becomes that! When I can fucking make it bearable. Until then, I'll wear my fucking broken mask, I'll be verbally malicious or stay in my unobtrusive state.
There's nothing wrong with feeling like that. I didn't take you as an "emo" kind of person. Sometimes you just need to part your hair to the side and see through the darkness that life isn't so bad and is full of light.
xXShayde WolfXx
Otakuite++ | Posted 11/03/16 | Reply
@DarlingV:
I'm sorry if my intentions upset you and I really appreciate your concerns, but if it comes to that, then it comes to that. At this point I don't care what happens to me. I know the general logical thing to do is continue in life, but I'm not within that normality anymore... my mentality, my sanity has dropped to a lower definition. My insecurity is peaking higher than it normally has. Honestly, the only thing that's keeping me around is the fact that I can't let go... once that happens I truly don't know what's going to happen.
DarlingV
Otakuite++ | Posted 11/02/16 | Reply
Please don't do anything too risky. Don't end your life, is what I mean. Please?
xXShayde WolfXx
Otakuite++ | Posted 11/02/16 | Reply
@CupcakeCupid:
Ok. first off, I actually find that a little offensive and not because it's fucking "#2016". I don't compare myself to a god damn stereotypical bullshit subculture. Yeah, I used to contribute my share of the "scene" hype when I was younger and I may still listen to "emo bands" today, but 90% of that shit is assholes just trying to get attention as they go through their "teenage angst", finding any fucking excuse to get their emotional nut off.
Second off, you do not know me. I appreciate the fact that you're trying to show me the way to having a happier life, but stop. Please stop that. My depression is far more than a fucking cry session a day, a slit of the wrist. I've had suicidal tendencies, I've been on prescribed medication, I've been to therapy, I've had people tell me there's always a better way, I've had fucking teachers tell me there's no hope for me growing up, there's no way I'd be stable, the reason of my existence is for naught, I have been racially abused growing up at different periods of my life. There's a fucking lot I can say about myself that you wouldn't understand and even if you did you should know better than to judge someone. It's not that fucking easy to just get over something you cherish and love. Yeah, I sucked at showing it, I wasn't exactly the nicest fucking person, but I was at least willing to change in the end just to have that back.
So don't act like everything is hunky-dory in my future. It'll be that when it becomes that! When I can fucking make it bearable. Until then, I'll wear my fucking broken mask, I'll be verbally malicious or stay in my unobtrusive state.
CupcakeCupid
Otakuite | Posted 11/02/16 | Reply
@xXShayde WolfXx:
There's nothing wrong with feeling like that. I didn't take you as an "emo" kind of person. Sometimes you just need to part your hair to the side and see through the darkness that life isn't so bad and is full of light.
xXShayde WolfXx
Otakuite++ | Posted 11/02/16 | Reply
@CupcakeCupid:
I don't care about this world... you honestly don't know what my mind is like... how defeated I feel... I don't want to live right now.
CupcakeCupid
Otakuite | Posted 11/02/16 | Reply
Try to cheer up. This world isn't all bad. There's a lot you can do here! =3