Writing Critique Example

"The Noblest King"

A troubled smile lingers
as eyes watch the war below.
Battles rage; a new age
will come with the final blow.

Bloody, beaten, he rises:
A king noble as can be.
Head held high, kingdoms cry
as he dives into the sea.

Swirling depths, the undertow
threatens to flood his lungs.
A deep breath to ensure death—
mournful whispers, praying tongues.

Weapons dropped, and armies fell,
united, down on their knees.
The war was done; no one won
and no one could hear their pleas.

‘Bring back our king!’ they shouted
to the stoic sky above.
No answer came. The end game
was to prove that he was loved.