There must be another part to this dream that I can't let go of
But somehow it keeps getting interrupted.....
"Even with this vague helping hand,
In a split second the cocoon's threads are torn apart and turn to ash"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poems that lurk in the darkness of my mind will find their peace on this digital paper.....
~Aizome~
A flower blooms into the shadows
of a far forgotten cry
leans a memory on my shoulder
".....please don't die....."
All so frail my conciousness,
i gaze into the crimson sky
and wish
".....none was a lie....."
A group of walls keeps me from leaving
my past, my life, my joy and sorrows
all will break, a fall will follow.....
Come and take my hand,
as cold as it is and promise me
promise me you won't leave
and i will believe.....
as i always did.....
~Awake me from a silent nightmare
if i sink more within it
with a whisper of assurance.....
i am weak to stand alone
even if i face the storms.....
the soul dries worse day after day
and no healing came into it's way~
i fell and i have gone too far
~in the unknown~
Was once in your arms
but i have fallen
and nobody can help me up.....
i gasp for one last breath of your perfume
that lingers around my lips
and to sip your sweetness
before you leave.....
no scream can break the silence
and no hint of light can tare the dark.....
i am here....yet....where are
you[?]
[You forgot me in a corner of your soul
like a little girl forgetting a marble in a drawer
or the writer its old pen under the papers
but i never forgot you.....midnight star.....]
Underneath all the pain inside,
the phoenix wished to rise again.....
emptiness and silence crushed its wings
and made its flight impossible.....
A cold blow of the nothern winds
lifted its remaining feathers in the midnight skies
and hope came back like rain upon the torn ego's wounds.....
[a wish of healing]
The fantasy bird can spread its dreams
and fly away in the mists.....
A crippled soul has just reborn
[from its own ashes and with them it rises, forever free.....]
*Notes outside the poem: (symbolism)
the phoenix/fantasy bird_the soul
the cold blow of the northern skies_conciousness
the feathers_faith
the midnight skies_memories
rain_the revelation
the dreams_the new wings
the mists_the unknown that the ego will face
A shade of grey covers my eyes
and I start screaming.....
[Terrified of what will happen.....]
Invisible fiends strangle me
And the red marks on my neck
[Cannot be noticed by the rest.....]
I am dying in front of you.....
just because.....
Your carefree grin
and a steel knife.....
[did what words didn't.....]
I love you.....
Yet, see you in hell.....
Is it me, or I sometimes try to hard?
Is it me, or someone tries too hard to stay by me?
Why do I feel this strange fear
that takes my voice away?
How do I have to react
so I can be liked
without people trying to hard
and this to show?
it's.....
frightening to know
someone reaches out for you so hard
and you can't say a thing?
What is this fear?
An invisible threat sits in the obscure
calling my name.....
I must be out of my mind.....
No longer I have to be silent......
I scream: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
And the mystery would be all.....over.....
Hopefully I was all wrong
and this imagined mess of mine turn into light.....
