Hi everyone,
The Dark Realm is basically a realm of dark desires and dark...things. I really can't say much about the dark realm. I can only hope that it will be visited often by other members.
I created the dark realm because I like being alone and I like to sit by myself in the dark hours of the night.Hey, we can't all be perfect right?Any way the dark realm was made because of how I was feeling and how miserable I was becoming. I hope you enjoy your visit to the dark realm.

Autobiography???!

Okay it's bad enough that I have to keep my grades up in school.It's ten times worse if I have to write an autobiography.I mean come on,don't you think it's kind of stupid to have to write an autobiography in order to graduate from high school?I can't do it.I hardly even remember what I did as a little girl.I can hardly even remember what I did last year during my summer vacation.
In order for me to graduate with the rest of the Senior class,I have to do a portfolio presentation.And I can't even get out of it.It's a requirement in order for me to graduate at my school.Gawd!I like have a few months in order to do a portfolio too.Man what am I gonna do?As it is I'm kind of stuck on how I'm going to write my stupid autobiography any way.Ugh.I hate my Senior year.And it's my last year too.

I hate school!!!!!!!!!

Why????Why is it every time we have more work on top of the work we already have?I don't like doing school work and I'm not a big fan of having to do homework either.I especially hate having to turn in an assignment on a given date and recieving a new assignment on top of that.It sucks.And I mean would it hurt the teachers a little to give us students a little leeway or something.
This year is my last year in high school and all ever have to do is work,work, and more work on top of that.Ugh.Don't my teachers know that I need some time for myself,my family,my friends,and my boyfriend.Bleh.I hate it when I have to do homework.I want some time to sleep but it doens't look like I'll get that any time soon because I have to do a stupid Senior Portfolio.I don't know when I have to present it in front of people but it seems like a lot of hard work.Right now I'm trying to finish my autobiography which will be due tomorrow in my second period class.Gawd I hate Senior Portfolio's.
I'm so tired as it is and the only time I get to sleep is during my classes.Man I hate to have to do all that make-up work at the end of the year.Argh!I just wished my graduation could come a little sooner than May.

As I watch the falling leaves

As I watch the falling leaves
I wonder what it's like to be free
Free to forget about all your worries
Free to forget about going to school every day
Free to forget about going to work every day
Free to express yourself without any one saying anything to you
free to go anywhere you please
Free to do whatever you want
Free to be who you are without
Free to let go of all your pain
free to let go of all your loneliness
Free to be different
Free to feel what it is to have some fun

As I watch the falling leaves
I wonder what it's like to feel
Feel loved by family
Feel confused or out of place when something is wrong
Feel lonely when you have no one by your side to comfort you
Feel trust from those you know as your friends and family
Feel safe when you have a place to stay and a bed to sleep in at night
Feel pain when you've just lost one of your loved ones you really cared about
Feel betrayed when those you thought were your friends never had your back
Feel loved by that special someone
Feel how life goes on

As I watch the falling leaves
I wonder what it's like to be lonely
When there's no one by your side
When every one else has someone to trust
When every one has friends to hang out with
When you have no one to talk to
When your by yourself
When every one else has a special someone to love them
When you have no one special
When you have no one to greet in the morning when you wake up each morning
When you have no friends to visit with
When your family is mad at you
When life doesn't go on

As I watch the falling leaves
I wonder what it's like to miss someone you truly cared about
When they aren't alive anymore
When their six feet underground
When they died leaving you with memories of a time that has forever been lost to you
When you remember the good times you had with them
When you remember the embarassing times you had with them
When all you can think about is how much you truly miss that someone
When that someone was always there for you no matter what
When that someone would always cheer you up when you were feeling down
When that someone is never going to be by your side anymore

As I watch the falling leaves
I wonder what it's like to remember
Remember the good times
Remember the bad times
Remember the frst time you truly loved someone
Remember the person you held close to your heart when that person isn't here anymore
Remember the pain you felt when you lost a loved one
Remember the loneliness that you felt when you had no one to back you up
Remember the day you felt something being taken from your life
Remember the time you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend
Remember the time you had your first kiss
Remember the time you went out on your first date
Remember the happist times of your life

As I watch the falling leaves
I wonder what it's like to feel pain
Pain that was caused by the loss of a loved one
Pain caused by your loneliness
Pain caused by your so-called friends
Pain created when you had nobody to talk to
Pain that was caused by the fact that some things aren't meant to be
Pain caused by the fact that you've lost somenthing or someone close to you
Pain that was caused by people you thought loved you dearly
Pain caused by every day life
Pain caused by someone you thought loved you for who you were
Pain caused by the fact that life isn't perfect
Pain caused by the fact that life isn't always fair
Pain that won't seem to go away

As I watch the falling leaves
I wonder what it's like to hated
When every one tries to be your friend
When every one tries to be there for you
When every one tries to get to know you better
When every one says they know you
When every one is always dressing like you
When every one is always looking like you
When every one is always trying to be like you
When every one wants to be you
When every one loves you
When every one is your biggest fan
When every one loves something about you
When every one really hates you

As I watch the falling leaves
I wonder what it like to feel life pass you by

Do you...?

Do you think your perfect?
Do you think your better than everybody else?
Do you act like your all high and mighty?
Do you think about how you treat people?
Do you ever think about something before you act?
Do you ever care about anyone other than yourself?
Do even dare to think about other peoples' feelings?
Do you even CARE?
If you don't then you should think about this
Every time you say something to someone
They take it a little more seriously than you think
It doesn't matter if you were joking
It doesn't matter if you never even meant for it seem like a compliment
Those things you said to those people
Made them think that they were nothing in everybody esle's eyes
You never even thought that did you?
You only thought to look cool to your friends
You only thought to make yourself look better than those people you made fun of
Too bad
Because you can never take those words back
No matter what you tried to do
How pathetic
You thought you were better than them
But you got it all wrong
Because it seems that they were better than you
Yeah they took your insults
But that doesn't mean they didn't take it seriously
So the next time you want to make fun of every body else around you
It's best that you think before you act or say anything

My world

It was my loss
I let you slip from my grasp
I didn't even try to get you back
Not once
I just let them take you away from me
They promised they would do their best to keep you happy
With a promise like that I knew they would
So I just let you go without a protest
I let you go
And it was stupid of me to do that
But now I can't go back on my word
How stupid!?
I could have at least tried to take you away from them
But I didn't
It hurts to realize how much I loved you
It hurts even more to admit that I connected with you the moment you came into this world
My world
I was so stpuid to let you go with them
But I wanted the best for you
I wanted you with someone who would be able to love you and take good care of you
Not just...not just keep you
So I watched you go with them from my bedroom window
And as I watched you go,I cried
Now I regret letting you go
But what was I to do?
Was I just to run down the hallway,out the front door,and take you away from them?
If it was that easy I would have done
But it wasn't
So tell me what was I supposed to do?
Was I to leave my home and evertyhing I knew behind me?
Was I to take you someplace far away?
Was I to leave what I knew and loved behind to keep you in my grasp?
I'll admit it does hurt to see you gone
It hurst way more than I thought it would to be honest
I wake up every night crying for you
Because I miss you
I miss seeing you every time I wake up
I miss hearing you cry for me
I miss hearing you laugh
I miss holding you close to me in my arms
I miss seeing that little sparkle in your eyes when you wake up to see me holding you
I miss hearing your laughter when I blow on your little stomach
But most of all
I miss holding you in my arms