Hey! Welcome to my refurbished everything-goes world!
Before, I was just posting life updates and the like, but now, I'll also be posting fic-related stuff, in an effort to be more active on theO. Some will involve cross-posting from my ao3.
My tags, beginning August 2018:
Life update
Fic
Ramblebamble
Fics will also be tagged by title!
I've been having a rough time with part of my history midterm, and she emailed me back last night with even more encouraging words and kindness than the first part of the midterm, and I just started bawling like a baby. Just bawling.
Admittedly, she told me the exact same things my dad did about not being so hard on myself, and that I'm doing very well with the assignment. But in my mental illness-twisted brain, I always take it as being too biased when it comes from my parents.
Speaking of, seriously consider going to a school counselor (if you're that age) or a therapist if you can afford it. I know not everyone can, but if you can find a place with a sliding scale, pay-what-you-can type of deal, and you're struggling with anxiety, depression, or anything, get help. It'll be the best decision you could've made. I know it was for me.
My therapist recommended this app called Stop, Breathe, and Think. It's a meditation app for Android and iPhone, and the basic stuff is free. You can choose later on to purchase some additional guided meditations, which totals about three USD, like I did, or you can lengthen your meditations, also about three USD. I've been using it when I feel stressed out or depressed (when I can remember to, that is), and it does make a difference for me.
Not that a certain someone isn't rendering everything I do completely ineffective because of some terrible crap they're pulling, but that's not the app's fault.
Hi everybody. I know it's been forever since I was actually active on theO other than stalking my backroom, but I just wanted to drop in and give a quick update.
I finally scheduled an appointment at my campus therapist's office, and one of the things I mentioned on the paperwork is that I'm genderqueer and not-straight. I made the decision to fill the forms out that way, because I want to get counseling on how to come out to my parents. I decided that it's time to do so, not just because I can't stand living a lie all the time, but because I want them to understand why I've been almost constantly defending LGBT rights at the dinner table for the past two years.
I also found out that my anxiety issues are, for lack of a better term, passed down genetically through the women in my family. My mother told me that her mom, and her mom's mom, had generalized anxiety disorder, depression, OCD, or a combo of the three, and that it basically got passed down to me. Which would have been nice to know when I was a child, but hey, you live with what you get.
So yeah, I'm finally working to overcome the crap that I've dealt with for the past decade, which is good for me. It took a lot of courage, but less than I thought I would need, to not only admit to there being a problem, but to want--and actually follow through--with overcoming it.
Sage advice from my mother: "Don't wait to get help. It's something you'll wish you did sooner."
-Elricz
And a lot of other things.
First off, I'd like to start by saying I finally convinced my grandma to help me find a therapist or something of that nature, because my mental health is just... in the toilet right now, my anxiety is through the roof, and I'm pretty sure I have some form of depression. But yay for getting help! after, yanno, 5 years
Exams are almost over for me, and I'm proud to say I somehow got a 102 on my sociology final. I also aced the paper I was crying over, to the point where my professor told me I should consider it as a major.
That prompted a nice little existential crisis in which I became acutely aware that art degrees don't really result in being able to put bread on the table, so I considered changing majors so I can actually care for myself and my parents in the long run.
THAT prompted my grandma to tell me I don't need to take care of my parents, because they're going to be just fine, but -- and I don't remember, I probably didn't post about this -- with her being bedridden with arthritic knees for a month to the point where she bought a wheelchair, my future felt very grim.
One of my friends from theatre reminded me that it's important to major in something I can see myself doing for the rest of my life, and she really helped me out by giving me an opportunity to emotion-dump everything that's been going on. Not to mention she brought me surprise Dunkin' Donuts chicken-bacon ciabatta, which just about made me cry.
Oh, God. I'm so tired, and I have a nasty headache. I wanted to draw or paint something after drooling over punipawsart on tumblr, but I'm wiped out. I had my math final at 8pm tonight after having sociology at 11am.
Goodnight, ya'll. I've got two more days and two more exams.
Dear Santa,
Thank you in advance for your gift! I'm so excited to see what you'll pick from my list :) I tried to give some varied options, and maybe there will be something you like too!
Anime/TV/Etc:
Yuri On Ice - Viktor, Yuuri, Maccachin
Voltron - Keith, Lance, Pidge, Shiro (Klance is my favorite pairing, but Shiro's my favorite character)
Xiaolin Showdown - Clay
My Life As A Teenage Robot - Jenny, Sheldon, Vega, Vexus (I was so sad when I found out Eartha Kitt died, she voiced Vega in MLAATR and Yzma in The Emperor's New Groove)
Darker Than Black - Hei, Yin, Suo, Mao (I mildly ship both HeixYin and HeixMisaki)
Steven Universe - Steven, Connie, Stevonnie, Sheena, Sardonyx
Alice in Wonderland - Alice, Hatter, Time (Time is from Through the Looking Glass, and I like the 2010/2016 movies best)
The Seven Deadly Sins - Meliodas, Elizabeth, Hawk, Ban
Soul Eater - Maka, Soul, Crona (I love MakaSoul, both as friends and as a ship)
Dimension W - Mira, Kyouma
Corpse Princess - Makina
Death Parade - Decim, Chiyuki, Nona, Ginti (Decim is my favorite arbiter, but I have a weird, irrational love of Ginti. hotheaded mess)
C Control - Souichiro, Kimimaro, Msyu
I'd request some art of my OCs, but I'm about to go through my OC list and dump the ones I've abandoned for years.
Thanks again, Secret Santa!
-Elricz
