Hello everyone. Call me Kurt Alert even though thats not my real name, but whatever who really cares. Umm I'm bored of life. Just here to hang around and do nothing I guess. Idk. I have crap else to do. I use to be on Myotaku. That was the shit of course. This place sucks. So yeah. I'll be throwing stuff on here every now and then. I love to write and draw. Woundn't say im good at either but i try, so whatever.

No One

A passionate kiss to make you see
That you were the only one made for me
I blindly stare at you as time pass by
Because when you’re not around I want to die
If only I could embrace and see cry
I would love that more than any night
To show me you at your weakest state
I’ll stay by you until we wake
You held me close through out the night
I whispered continually that eternity is not enough time
To show exactly how I truly fee
And when you’re not around I’ll be the only one waiting for your return
And I’ll cry to my hearts at ease that you have returned because of me

A girl I Once Knew

Inside of my head she’ll never understand
This thought of her is a cycle that never ends
My mind is set on one thing and I love it more every time
I silently wait for the moment to be just right
Because in time I promise you will be mine
I’m not sure how but you will understand my entire mind
Inside of my head there’s something to be said
And in the end I promise you will comprehend
What you see may make you want to cry
It may make you sad or even make you want to die
But when you open your eyes I will be here waiting
Now feel my pain and understand the threads of my mind that never cease to end

I will make you love me if it’s the last thing I do
I will make you suffer just as I have to
I will tear you apart and in time you will heal
Just wait that is the time I shall end this deal

I won’t be the one crying in pain tonight
In bed she lies, now her heart beats in sync with mine
She crawls back begging for forgiveness
I’m weak so I open my hand, soon I promised
This will end
And I vow to never hurt you again
We embrace a clarification that all has ended
No more pain to be endured
I close my eyes, it’s all over
I open my eyes, there’s something brand new

I will make you love me if it’s the last thing I do
I will make you suffer just as I have to
I will tear you apart and in time you will heal
Just wait that is the time I shall end this deal

Kiss her a voice murmurs
Kiss her again and never let her go
Hold her tighter make sure she truly knows
That maybe it’s time I should let her go
Don’t be afraid her love was trivial
What she’s missed out on is irreplaceable
Make sure she knows their will never be anyone like you
Drop your arms, back away, you’re through

I won’t try any longer to prove my love to you
Because you already know this deep desire I have for you
I’m torn in the heart and this wound will never heal
But regardless to the fact I knew the cost of this deal

But my throat burns
My entire body is smoldering
With all my strength I try to hold them back
My tears
They have betrayed me once again
The world before me is blurred
The beautiful girl who stood silently left without a word
I stumble away; fall to my knees, my heart beating faster, its killing me
Let her go, just let her go the indistinctive voice speaks softly
My intentions were never meant to hurt you I swear
But only to please you in any way I can
Maybe even make you fall for me, but was a fool?
In the end it seems I have accomplished nothing
But then again I did gain the story of a girl I once knew

Selfish

My tears flowed so naturally
I had no intent of hiding them
My body was numb
I felt cold and alone even as you held me
You knew you couldn’t repair this
I wanted to ask you to give it back
I wanted you to make me hate you
I knew even my lover couldn’t do that
He was selfish and just as hurt as I was
He wanted to keep my love to himself
But how badly I needed it back
He hadn’t even left me and I was already falling apart
My throat burned as I tried to hold everything back
The mental break down that wanted to show
But I stood there
I let him go
And I let him take me with him
He would never admit it
But I kept him selfishly as well

Everlasting

I hate it when you smile at me
The final thought that could never be
Your voice is a sacred melody that sings out to me
I whisper “I love you” just like this
And embrace your entire being for a passionate kiss
To touch your body as if it’s mine
To bring you close and hold you tight
I tell you that I’m here to stay
And when life gets tough I’ll take you away
I tell you not to push me away
You stare at me and then you say
“You have never caused me pain
I care for you love is not the same”
I shield my face I want to die
My heart only aches for you inside
I wish for you to only say that here I am and here I’ll stay
I try my best to not look down
But your face is the distance made me scream aloud
I beg you to love me just once again
But you tell me we were only just friends
Am I weak to go this low or am I just afraid to be alone?
But I’ve told you before in a note that I wrote
That your smile to me is this world alone
Your reasons for taking my hand
And holding me close until the end
I’ll protect you from this world in mind
And stay right here next to your side
You don’t know how much I want to stay here next to you
How I hate not to be beside you
You don’t know this but I’ve almost broke into tears
Because it wasn’t me, so close to you
I will always be happy if you’re happy but…
I think you know this, that it pisses me off
How I have almost lost it at one time
How I wanted to destroy this person
The moments where I wanted to kiss you
Right in front of everyone
I wouldn’t have cared what they thought
Because at that second the world I would’ve been in
So far away
But I have a fear of hurting you
It’s the last thing I would ever want to do
To make you feel uncomfortable around me
To make you hate me
I know you never could but it still scares me to death
I could stare at you forever
If only…
I could stare at you day and night
I’d hold you close with all my might
I’d stroke your face left to right
To hear your voice so full of joy
To see you laugh
I may not be the one specifically making you in such high spirits
But I’m grateful that you are
Because I know I can’t do much
But if I every made you smile or laugh
You just don’t know how happy that would make me
To know that I have made the one I care for the most smile
I don’t know what you think of me now
It scared me to death at first
Cause I thought everything would change
Between us
In my head for some reason I thought you would hate me
I’m sorry for the way I am
I don’t know why but I just am
I’ll shield you from this place called life
The things that hurt the most
Well if I can
I doubt I can though
I doubt I can do anything for you
I don’t love you
It’s more than that
There is something about you
That I find interesting
Love is something that can only go both ways
I can never truly love you if the feeling is not returned

Lord Dante of Eternal Death

Have you ever had a dream
That you thought was real
And it wasn’t
And what you thought wasn’t
Real was
What would you do if something
Wasn’t true and it wasn’t
And what you thought was true was
But then…
I woke up one morning found out I was me
Fell asleep and life was just another dream
In that dream I saw you but were you really there
I tried to touch your face but you just disappeared
Trying to embrace the fact that you are really gone
But only wanting to embrace the body of the one I love
When I look beside me there’s no one to see
Being nowhere confused only about me
But realizing you were the one to set my life
When you were here I understood the reason why
I woke up every morning to realize you were my life
You took away my life when you tried to break my soul
Only pleased with the thoughts that you were by my side
Happy and excited what being with you would bring
But I woke up and life was just another dream
Looking at your photo really mad me see
That it was all my fault and it was only me
Blaming myself for all that I had done
Only to realize it was life itself
Urging for something more to touch and see
Wanting the kiss I never actually received
Back to the beginning to only see
That life is no life when it’s only me
I’m happy that there’s someone who will cry for me
Just a glare means the world
The slightest touch gives me chills
The sight of your face sets my life
Passionate, sensitive, smart describes you
Not understandable is in side you
But why are you not
Can anyone understand us
I don’t understand you
I feel I do a little
But
I want to understand you
Completely
What’s in this mind you have
Why can’t you cry, feel pain
Tell me
How do you feel about this world
Or the world which it could be just you me
He’s gone now
You so seem happy
I like you even more, I think
Cause now you laugh
You seem to smile a lot more too
When we talk it use to be so dead
But now you have so much to say
Tell me
How come after this tragedy
You can be so happy
Filled with so much joy
But are humans just selfish
For there desires
To want and only think of there selves as they are born
To want food, shelter and a warm body to hold them close
But what does any one know about life
Are we all not suffering at time
Are we all not in pain
You must remember all that you can
Embrace this happiness with all you strength
For this memory will keep you going
It will keep you alive
And happy about tomorrow
So don’t ever give forget
Or you will lose you strength and spirit
Hang on a little longer
Stay strong a little longer
For when it’s over you won’t have to try
You won’t have to worry anymore
And you can fall right into that person’s arms
Then you can rejuvenate
No more not being for sure
No more not knowing what to do
Or what will happen next
Love is a curse yet a wonderful gift
The time you spent
The memories that kept you excited about tomorrow
It’s gone but…
You say you wish he was never there
That you hadn’t met him that day
That when he spoke or sang you didn’t fall in love with his voice
But thus when you frustrated you did want to run into his arms
When he made you made you couldn’t help but to forgive him
That when you made him smile or laugh
You felt as though this feeling could never stop
That it would always last forever
But was I a fool, an idiot
To think life could just turn bright all of a sudden
To think of him ever day wishing if only I could…
Knowing of course it will one day all end
Hiding it because only knowing that he was there made me smile
That he was by my side and I was by his
He was different from other boys never bragging of money or girls
Bad intentions never crossed his mind for it was anime and manga that was his life
He would make up stories that would make me cry
Of romantic teens just like our life
We talked of nothing here and there
Then tragedy hit and his dad disappeared
Traveling to another world in just mid air
Hearing this news I could only stare and wonder what was really there
You are my sanctuary the person I go to for refuge and shelter
The heart cannot truly express it’s love for a person
Are words not enough
Giving a person a gift is this really love
Can only a ring represent your love for a person
Why is it that many humans fall in love with an item and not this person
Will money always be there to catch you when you fall
Will it comfort you on nights when you are afraid
Why can you not love a person for being there
For making you laugh when you down
But what do humans know
We only know what we hear
What we’ve learned
And understand
But as complicated as life is we understand that we must live
Being happy but not knowing why
Smiling but having no reason
Thinking but having no thought
Crying but having no pain
Anger but toward who and what
Wanting to live but for what reason
Wanting to die but the cause
To love but to not be loved
To talk but to not be heard
Knowing but understanding you have yet to learn
Feeling but body and mind are numb
Suffering as others are happy
But realizing there others like you
Realizing it's not your fault
That you can just blame it on others
That when the time comes you can run away
Being looked at different but not knowing why
Now understanding this pain deep inside
Now having the courage to say it aloud
But still frightened you shield yourself away from the crowd
This corner all alone in the shadows of many
But still urging for people to know the real you
But afraid there stupidity will turn into anger and fear
You go far away and just disappear
I only cry tears of happiness
Pain is the only way I keep moving
It keeps me breathing and alive
I refuse to hate because love will do a better job