-WARNING-

The National Blather Service has issued a Severe CitrusStorm Warning for the following area(s):
The world.

Expect torrential downpours of tropical insanity, especially in the morning and evening hours.

THE DOORBELL RINGS

And I answer it to find a package the size of a drum stool.

Me: ?

Upon closer inspection, the package is adorned with doodles and markings.

Me: ?!

The address it's from matches my pen-pal.

Me: !!!!

The package is opened.

*CRITICAL MELTDOWN INITIATED*