Welcome to Failtastick Fandoms, where everything's made up and the points don't matter!
This world is dedicated to the ridiculous side of anime, where 15 year old girls are "burdened" with jello-textured double d's, villains sport black feathers, and hair defies all laws of physics. 
I hope that while reading you get a chuckle and stop to appreciate the things that make it all the more enjoyable to have fun otakuing.
This one is for you. Since I did a anime/manga dude stereotype list, I thought it would only be fair to focus on the ladies. "But I thought the stereotypes applied to all genders," you say, "besides attractive anime/manga guys are pretty much girls, right?". Wrong. You see, Japan knows that what's attractive to men:
Well developed characters who act maturely for completely legitimate reasons, of course.
Emphasis on "developed".
Let's face it, it's hard to find well done women characters in anime/manga. Shiny boobs are in abundance though, and to each glorious pair is attached a "personality", you know, so you can focus on the story. Here's a handy dandy guide, so you know your options.
Back row starting left going right:
1. "Stupid Hair"- There's always one of these and the way I see it, the creators of every slightly smutty anime/manga ever sat down at one point and said to each other, "You know, I don't think we have enough revenue-generating sluts! Now I know we've got like 10 already but just give this one the most moronic hair ever and THAT can be her unique personality!"
2. "Anime Velma"- Kind of like the girl version of the Underwear Nerd (see earlier post for def.) except she's a girl so of course SHE'LL NEVER SHUT UP. NEVER.
3. "SkankyJezebelSlutWhore"- Yeah there's pretty much one function this character type serves and it's not "to add further depth and insight to the well-developed plot". She's usually in a position of authority, like a teacher or a nurse, because lawsuits are sex-ay.
4. "I Might as Well Have a Penis"- The sporty tomboy who is highly competitive. She's usually uncomfortable with wearing feminine clothes and most always the, "I can't believe my boobs are so small, but yours are HUUUGGGE," conversation. Practically a man, so she's usually stupid and loud, like a man. Men are all like that, right?
5. "Silent but Deadly"- Gentle, reserved, the portrait of a lady. Until you piss her off. Then she's the f*cking Hulk. She'll lay the smackdown on yo' punk male ass without batting an eyelash. Then she'll return to sipping her Earl Grey through a smug grin that even Tom Hiddleston would be proud of.
6. "Not in Kansas Anymore"- The foreigner who usually comes from the boonies. It logically follows that she's dumb and has no idea how to behave in modern civilization, which usually means she refuses to wear underwear. Everyone knows hicks don't wear underwear. All of them are also porno versions of Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, legit. Take a drive in the country sometime, you'll see.
Front starting left going right and then ending at the pigtails.
7. "The Token Mary Sue"- She is PERFECT, every cutesy wide-eyed delicate sweet sickeningly NO ONE IS LIKE THIS charming inch of her. Every anime/manga is bound to have this type of character in some way shape or form because it's easy for you, the reader, to project yourself on her. It works because deep down we all have a little Kanye West in us and think we are perfect talented rock stars who can do no wrong.
8. "Rich Bitch"- Annoying, Ignorant, Snotty, Spoiled, Every Unlikable Trait Ever human being. Yet, because deep down she really cares or has a heart of gold or whatever, the rest of the group lets her stay. Usually that makes them worse off because this type of character is generally not great PR, useless in a fight, and has a knack for getting in trouble, but SOMEONE'S family has to own a beach house! How else could the swimsuit episodes happen?!
9. "My Voice is 5 Octaves Higher Than Theodore the Chipmunk"- She's the quiet shy bangs over the adorable eyes that would make Bambi jealous type. Kind of like Token Mary Sue, but not extroverted enough to express her generic opinions about love and friendship. Instead she just blushes. Close enough.
10. "Discover Your Inner Pedobear"- The 12 yr old who is always ALWAYS sexualized. It's never blatant like SkankyJezebelSlutWhore but rather in the more subtle, "Oniii-chaan! My shirt can't fit over my astoundingly well developed breasts! Help me put it on!" or for the flat chested variety ,"Onnii-chaaan! Why are you not attracted to MY body?! Am I too kid-like? Is that why you don't love me?". Now granted, there are some sweet, innocent ones but I group those in the Theodore the Chipmunk Girl category. When handling this "Sexy Elementary School" category (oh I just cringed a little typing that) it's important to remember: keep this up and one day you will look and act like The Kid Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. You don't want that. Trust me, google it and then have fun not sleeping ever again.
And that concludes my list! If you think I missed something or have anything to add at all, feel free to comment! And as always
have fun otaku-ing!
PS: On a pretty related note, 2 glasses of mountain dew and several "anime girls in swimsuit" image searches online make for a very interesting friday night.
LLLLLLLllllllladies.
"Chicks like dudes who look like chicks."
Words of wisdom from a director I once had. I think this is especially true in anime, where rose-fondling bishies prance around pastel colored landscapes as sakura blossoms blow in the breeze. And the girls go wild. I could spend this post theorizing over why this is, but I'm honestly completely at a loss. Maybe we are all secretly lesbians, who knows? In any case, She-males are here to stay, so I thought it would be helpful to give you guys a list of typical bishies in anime/manga, so you knew your options. I'll be using the picture above for reference. You lucky ducks.
TYPICAL BISHIE TYPES IN ANIME/MANGA
1. The Surprise (Above Pic: Front and Center with the L'oreal hair)
You can watch an entire anime series/read the whole manga thinking this character is a female, only to later be shocked and amazed when you research the series on wikipedia and discover the opposite. These types are defined by feminine clothing and hairstyle and tend to "tee hee" a lot when they laugh. Sometimes even the other characters don't know the real gender. Sometimes the surprises themselves don't know. Super Surprise! Tee hee!
2. The I'm Trying so Hard Not to be Gay Right Now (Pic: Front and Second from the right with the half-ponytail)
The unfortunate one who everyone is secretly rooting for, but gets pushed aside for the obnoxiously cute schoolgirl. They may even give him a female love interest to throw you off, but in the end you know the bromance was always meant to be.
3. The "Nerd" (Front and far right with glasses)
Or rather, Calvin Klein's underwear model brand of nerd. The smart and usually sensitive one, although this type can also take the "evil genius" twist. He's whatever you want him to be, because he's an underwear nerd.
4. The I Would Be a Girl but I Have a Penis( Front, second from the left and blonde)
He's the damsel in distress of the series. The sweet little innocent "save me" girl but without the boobs. Usually gets allotted into the main character slot because D'AWWWWWWWW! he's just too cute. Put him on Animal Planet already! ]
5. The Rival (Front , far left and blue/white hair)
This guy says "Oh yeah, I'm gonna whoop your ass, Potter!", but we know that deep down he's a good person who will inevitably join forces with the hero to fight for the greater good, which can be anything from beating the demon king to getting laid. Depends on your priorities. Or at least, that's what we wish would happen. A lot of times this type continues to be the eternal prick. Smexy.
6. The Pirate (Back, far left and pirate hair)
The reckless endangerment advocate of our little bishie boy band. Usually fills the comic relief/womanizer/alcoholic role and never fails to get the hero into terrible trouble. Adventure is always calling his name. AARRRRRR!
7. The Bestie (Back, center and blonde)
Older, usually the mentor. Mature and most often the Mr. Bingly to the Mr.Darcy, the Ron to the Harry, the Sam to the Frodo etc of the series. He is almost good enough to be the hero, and may even get his own story line here and there, but never quite makes the cut. He lacks a certain something, which brings us to. . .
8. The "Heathcliffe" (back right and brunette)
The whole plot focuses on him, and he spends a good amount of time brooding about it. Why? Because in addition to liking guys who look like girls, females tend to like a project. Something we can fix. And what better than a world weary hero who has a dark side, but a good heart underneath it all? It's all worth it for that one smile. Unlike real life, this can work in the world of anime, which is why I think we have so many she-male heroes with whiny dispositions. This is prime boyfriend material, ladies. Get in line.
And there you have it: your basic dating options in the world of effeminate bishounen. I could have gone into more specifics, but then we would have to cover the extensive world of "The One With the Most Stupid Hairstyle", "The One Who Isn't Much Good at Anything But Still Smoking Hot", "The One With a Thing for His Sister" etc. I don't have all night. Perhaps some other time. Until then, I hope you enjoyed the article and feel a bit more prepared to
have fun otaku-ing! :)
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