Yeah, I've thought about adopting too because it means that rather than contributing to overpopulation I can help someone who already exists and needs resources. Also, my genetics overall aren't the best, and I'm not sure I want to pass them on. I wouldn't want to make my children suffer.
Last edited by Sarasface at 4:54:00 PM CDT on October 26, 2014.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
True. My point is that while I try my hardest to be kind to every person I meet, I still don't know if I'm inadvertently doing something that could really upset someone. I probably have, without meaning to. I would never want to cause anyone pain. It also scares me to know that if I did inadvertently upset the wrong person, it could push them past the tipping point and cause them to decide that I (or just the world in general) deserved that kind of punishment for their unhappiness. For example, the guy that's been stalking me really scares me. He won't take no for an answer. He won't accept that he's making me uncomfortable and scaring me. He keeps saying that he's 'okay with hanging out platonically' but I know that he's not, because last time I tried to talk to him he wouldn't keep his hands off me and I had to just leave. And yes, he did know that I have a boyfriend. He still wouldn't keep his hands off me. So what if my constant refusal to get into bed with him--and my refusal to allow him to pull me into a manipulative, controlling, and frightening relationship--makes him angry? Actually I guess my stalker isn't the best example in this case because I don't think he has that kind of mindset, I think he's just gotten girls into bed by use of manipulation before and he's hoping to do it again.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
This is true. We need to be more accepting of others, since being rejected and mistreated can have different bad effects on different people. Some people do become angrier and thus more prone to violent paths of thought. However, we also can't be mind readers, and sometimes we inadvertently hurt people without realizing that we have. It's just their own reaction to a seemingly innocuous situation, based on their own thought process or events from their past. That's why I said that the victims of such shootings are often shocked. They don't know what they have done 'wrong'. For example, the boy who started shooting at that college was in large part angry because of the constant rejections of women, but from what I heard, that was only how he perceived it, since he rarely actually talked to women. Apparently one time he actually did talk to a girl, and she didn't say anything bad, but apparently he perceived what she said as a rejection and physically attacked her in a rage, and she was taken entirely by surprise. Much of the time it's miscommunication that causes these things, or because society pressures people to keep their problems hidden so they can't get help. Also, I know that there probably were mean people in that man's life to twist his thoughts so much, but innocent people who never meant him any harm got caught in the crossfire.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
It is indeed a very uncomfortable situation, actually even more so than to describe it in that way...
Just remember one thing. Always stay yourself. He can't manipulate you if you are more collected, calculated and smarter than him. Also hold your stance and raise your voice with opinion if you have to. You need to show that you have a strong matter and decision, hopefully it will help in keeping him away.
Fair point there, I often felt left out in high school because my best friend was really popular and people always wanted to talk to her, and whenever I was with her I felt invisible. Although it is not physically possible for me to talk to everyone around me, I try not to actively ignore people either. The gunning people down thing is more an example of problems in the mind and in the thought processes, I think, since people often don't know what they did "wrong" to make that person angry. It takes them completely by surprise. And lots of people ignored me in high school while talking to my friend instead, and that felt pretty freaking awkward. I still never would have shot them though.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I don't value people any less because of the amount of them, although if there were only a few left then that would endanger the species, so regardless of their character, their protection would be a matter of survival. But you're right, there are certain people whose character is such that they will continue to do such things anyway. However, if society focused on teaching us what was wrong with it, I believe two things would happen. First, there would still be less of the aggressors, because some people (there are people I know who are like this) are deeply conflicted and have both good and bad impulses, and they just need to learn that it's only acceptable to work on the good ones. Second, the potential victims would be better educated about these situations, so aggressors would have a smaller target range and more people would put them in their place about their behavior. Oh, and whoever tells you to kill yourself is NOT a good friend. That response reflects on them, not you.
Last edited by Sarasface at 10:54:28 AM CDT on October 22, 2014.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Right. When you tell a girl to 'be careful' what you're really saying is, "Someone's gonna get raped. Make sure it's someone else." Instead we need to basically just teach society that using force, blackmail, or manipulation IS NOT OKAY.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Kinda like how we shouldn't be teaching girls to dress conservatively otherwise they might get raped and rather focus on the problem and be boys should never pressure someone into sex. No one owes you anything else.
The manipulation is a big factor to leading to those kind of behaviors, I feel. And you're right. It needs to stop.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/26/14 | Reply
@:
Yeah, I've thought about adopting too because it means that rather than contributing to overpopulation I can help someone who already exists and needs resources. Also, my genetics overall aren't the best, and I'm not sure I want to pass them on. I wouldn't want to make my children suffer.
Last edited by Sarasface at 4:54:00 PM CDT on October 26, 2014.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/26/14 | Reply
@:
True. My point is that while I try my hardest to be kind to every person I meet, I still don't know if I'm inadvertently doing something that could really upset someone. I probably have, without meaning to. I would never want to cause anyone pain. It also scares me to know that if I did inadvertently upset the wrong person, it could push them past the tipping point and cause them to decide that I (or just the world in general) deserved that kind of punishment for their unhappiness. For example, the guy that's been stalking me really scares me. He won't take no for an answer. He won't accept that he's making me uncomfortable and scaring me. He keeps saying that he's 'okay with hanging out platonically' but I know that he's not, because last time I tried to talk to him he wouldn't keep his hands off me and I had to just leave. And yes, he did know that I have a boyfriend. He still wouldn't keep his hands off me. So what if my constant refusal to get into bed with him--and my refusal to allow him to pull me into a manipulative, controlling, and frightening relationship--makes him angry? Actually I guess my stalker isn't the best example in this case because I don't think he has that kind of mindset, I think he's just gotten girls into bed by use of manipulation before and he's hoping to do it again.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/25/14 | Reply
@:
This is true. We need to be more accepting of others, since being rejected and mistreated can have different bad effects on different people. Some people do become angrier and thus more prone to violent paths of thought. However, we also can't be mind readers, and sometimes we inadvertently hurt people without realizing that we have. It's just their own reaction to a seemingly innocuous situation, based on their own thought process or events from their past. That's why I said that the victims of such shootings are often shocked. They don't know what they have done 'wrong'. For example, the boy who started shooting at that college was in large part angry because of the constant rejections of women, but from what I heard, that was only how he perceived it, since he rarely actually talked to women. Apparently one time he actually did talk to a girl, and she didn't say anything bad, but apparently he perceived what she said as a rejection and physically attacked her in a rage, and she was taken entirely by surprise. Much of the time it's miscommunication that causes these things, or because society pressures people to keep their problems hidden so they can't get help. Also, I know that there probably were mean people in that man's life to twist his thoughts so much, but innocent people who never meant him any harm got caught in the crossfire.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/25/14 | Reply
@LightFykki:
Yeah, I have been trying to do that and also keep my friends around me and informed of his behavior so that they are aware there could be danger.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
LightFykki
Drachen Herz (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/24/14 | Reply
It is indeed a very uncomfortable situation, actually even more so than to describe it in that way...
Just remember one thing. Always stay yourself. He can't manipulate you if you are more collected, calculated and smarter than him. Also hold your stance and raise your voice with opinion if you have to. You need to show that you have a strong matter and decision, hopefully it will help in keeping him away.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/23/14 | Reply
@:
Fair point there, I often felt left out in high school because my best friend was really popular and people always wanted to talk to her, and whenever I was with her I felt invisible. Although it is not physically possible for me to talk to everyone around me, I try not to actively ignore people either. The gunning people down thing is more an example of problems in the mind and in the thought processes, I think, since people often don't know what they did "wrong" to make that person angry. It takes them completely by surprise. And lots of people ignored me in high school while talking to my friend instead, and that felt pretty freaking awkward. I still never would have shot them though.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/22/14 | Reply
@:
I don't value people any less because of the amount of them, although if there were only a few left then that would endanger the species, so regardless of their character, their protection would be a matter of survival. But you're right, there are certain people whose character is such that they will continue to do such things anyway. However, if society focused on teaching us what was wrong with it, I believe two things would happen. First, there would still be less of the aggressors, because some people (there are people I know who are like this) are deeply conflicted and have both good and bad impulses, and they just need to learn that it's only acceptable to work on the good ones. Second, the potential victims would be better educated about these situations, so aggressors would have a smaller target range and more people would put them in their place about their behavior. Oh, and whoever tells you to kill yourself is NOT a good friend. That response reflects on them, not you.
Last edited by Sarasface at 10:54:28 AM CDT on October 22, 2014.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/21/14 | Reply
@DemonsandAngels:
Right. When you tell a girl to 'be careful' what you're really saying is, "Someone's gonna get raped. Make sure it's someone else." Instead we need to basically just teach society that using force, blackmail, or manipulation IS NOT OKAY.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/21/14 | Reply
Kinda like how we shouldn't be teaching girls to dress conservatively otherwise they might get raped and rather focus on the problem and be boys should never pressure someone into sex. No one owes you anything else.
The manipulation is a big factor to leading to those kind of behaviors, I feel. And you're right. It needs to stop.