Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.
I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.
Today is an amazing day though. So it's okay.
A couple of things happened to me this week and it makes me think I need to prioritize some of my time. I'm probably gonna be around not much at all for a few days a little less in the long run. I'm not disappearing I just need to clean up some stuff and stop being lazy.
Much love. See you soon.
*sigh*
I am in a mood. I depend too much on other people to cheer me up, cheer me on or motivate me. The fact that I am this greatly effected by the unthinking actions of a single person means a few things. 1) I'm much more open to people than I ever wanted to be. 2) I have no self esteem. All my esteem come from others and I need to grow the fuck up and stop being whiny.
I think that today I can out EMO any EMO kid.
I think I'm really just put out because while I rarely have something of import to say, when there is something I want to share, there's really a minimal amount of people I will turn to share it with. In trying to broaden that circle a bit, I was inadvertently shut down. There was no malice and nothing wrong. but it just kind of hurt my feelings. It was a Blair moment, but not with Blair. I had not been prepared for it.
I'm just back from the notary and seeing Jordan. It was a surprisingly delightful visit. We had to wait for like half an hour to be seen by the notary and we just kind of chatted and caught up, and he's doing so well, except financially. I'm kind of happy for him and as much I has a distaste for Maryam in general, she seems to be awesome for him. I suddenly feel like a grown up. Seeing him do so much better makes kind of.... pacified, if not happy. I have work today and tomorrow, then my weekend and I'm pretty goddamn excited to get this fucking week over with.
I'm so tired. It's been an eventful couple of days. Wrote a song 'bout it. Wanna hear it? Here it goes: If you don't get the joke, you're too young. Look it up.
So, thank goodness that Way has an open ear, otherwise yesterday might have killed me. It was just one thing after another. My day started with Lucy excitedly waking me up, as usual. I let the dogs out and turn on the laptop. it's not even on two minutes when an IM pops up. Yes, I'm that popular. 
This particular IM was unexpected and shocked me. I seem to have inadvertently angered this person and was not expecting them to give me the time of day, let alone open conversation. It was not conversation they wanted to have. It was a soapbox to once again tell me how wrong I was. They were not out of hand or even angry sounding. I just sat there, read their concerns and basically asked why they were still talking to me. A difference of opinion can alter things when "morality" gets involved.
After that barrage, during which I mostly listened as I knew defending my position would only work me into a frenzy and not do anything to clear up the situation, I was rather annoyed, then Lucy got out of the yard. For the first time ever she didn't' come back when I called. She was 2 blocks away by the time I caught up to and found her. She came right to me at that point but grrr.
I paid bills, and I over paid one since I wasn't paying attention online and just as I was looking at that, my older brother called to see how things are going with the house. I fucking lost it. This house shit is robbing me of what little soul I have left. I hadn't paid the Oct Rent because it was supposed to be done, and that left him in dire straits. At that point, I hopped up and ran to the bank to deposit some cash for him.
Then came the tedious drive to work, then work itself. Fuck having a job, especially mine.
This morning Lucy woke me up around 8:30. I let them out and had plans to chat with someone this morning, but that didn't work out. So, just as I was going back to bed, there's a knock on my door. It's my older brother, here to help me get this shit about the house worked out. Nice to see you, bro. can I get a phone call next time. So, I spend 3 fucking hours with him doing house shit and it should be done this week. how often do we hear that?
So, I've been up since 8:30, I'm tired and I work til midnight. AWESOME. LET'S DO IT.
