Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.
I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.
Nothing to report, really. 11 hour day today, 4 hours tomorrow and then friday off. Blair wants to go to dinner. I told her she'd have to wake me. :P
I realized the other day, and was complaining to myself how ridiculous the amount of OT I signed up for is. It's seeming that I'm waking up an hour before going to work and then going to bed 2 hours after. I'm not actually DOING anything but working. They sent out new OT availability all the way to sept 20. I was working out signing up when I decided I didn't want to schedule it 20 days in advance. fuck.
So, I'm poor, but Jordan's even worse poor. Ignore the grammar of that sentence. He sold his car, and a big reason he sold the car was to pay for the divorce. I'm not feeling bad about this at all.
After snuggling with the poor kitten the other night, I want a cat. Tiny Dog would eat it though.
How's that for nonlinear thoughts?
It's Monday, which means I'm halfway through my work week. I'm pretty tired, but I'm determined to work this overtime. I'm signed up for at least 2 hours a day everyday but Fridays until the 11th. I'm pretty effin' sleepy after not being able to sleep on Friday night. Making up sleep is never the same. I want to nap!
My energy level has been zero recently, and I wonder if I should start taking an iron supplement again. It's hard on my stomach though. Recently my stomach already feels like a cement mixer that is broken. It tries to turn this stuff about, but it jams and everything just solidifies. An iron pill would just make that worse. Aaaaannnnnnndddd on a parting note, I have been craving McDonalds the last few days. >:(
The home appraiser guy just left, and it's time to shower and get ready for the workings.
I went to my parent's house for dinner tonight. My older siblings and their families were there. It was a good time, but too short. Stupid work and stuffs making me need to go home. My nephews asked why I didn't bring the dogs. :D My mother was watching a Say Yes to the Dress marathon...
I've been working a lot of OT lately, and not complaining about it. This is a strange phenomenon. I think I like my new supervisor. I have yet to actually find out. I like her as a person, and was a little shocked to find out she is almost 2 years younger than me.
It's really freaking me out that the dogs are barking at something outside.
It's been a minute since I posted anything of merit. I haven't really been doing a lot. I've been working, I played some Final Fantasy and my sister saved my life, that's really about it.
I'm really giving some serious thought into going back to school. I love school, even when I hated it. I hate busy work, but I love to learn and have a wide range of interests. James' post today kind of greased those wheels a bit. It's something I need to do, and it would be an incredible help to me in many, many ways. Before I can do that though, I need to get my finances back in order.
I kind of want to get a second job that is a nothing job like overnight shelf stocking. Not dealing with any people, just mindlessly putting things on shelves, making sure the labels face outward. Sometimes some mindnumbing activity is good for the soul and the pocketbook.
So, if my mood could turn around any faster, I thing that my head might get ripped from my body. I'm in a ridiculously good mood today. It's amazing what a rant and some sisterly love can conquer!
Alright, so, on to the actual post on actual things that are going on in the epic, awesome life of THE MOLLY. Makes it sound really important, no? It's really not.
Last Thursday I went to Hutch to sign a bunch of paper work and get my loan process started on my house. I'm locked in at 4.5% which is amazing. I'm really rather indifferent to this entire house buying thing, but it needs to get done and my payment will drop by $50 a month.
August, as I previously stated, has flown by. I meant to work every scheduled day in the month of August, but them I got a sucker punch to my soul. So, in my infinite wisdom of bowing to emotion instead of reason, I didn't get off my couch for a week and I stayed home from work and used up the rest of my medical leave., which is fine, and won't be getting paid, which isn't fine.
What's worse is I'm smilin' through the whole fucking thing. I am so tired of being sad or angry or indifferent. I just want to finally be alright. Just when I'm starting to get there, something else kicks me. I can't talk to Blair about it, all she will do is find someway to turn it into talking about herself. I don't want to talk about it with Lacy because I just want to have fun with Lacy. I'm sure she wouldn't care if I'm not fun, but she inspires me to have fun and I don't want to be a downer around her. Liz actually asked me about it, but it was at her birthday party, so I refused to talk about it as I would not ruin the mood on her birthday.
I called my sister tonight, and just kind of unloaded. I don't have money for rent or bills. The credit company is calling, I stopped eating and Esther is going to be out of food in two days. If Jordan had a penny to his name, at this point I'd take it from him. Just conversationally speaking, like checking off the laundry list. My mom still hasn't found a job, so I can't ask my parents for money and if I don't pay my rent my brother can't feed his kids. Add to my emotional issues and my money stress the 12 different people who know I'm an awesome listener and give amazing advice laying their shit on me. I'm kind of grateful for that as it keep my mind off of my stuff, but good fucking gods, can a girl get a breather?
Anyway, I was whining at my sister, and I just 10 minutes ago got a text from her that put me into tears. She and her husband are going to loan me some money, which I didn't ask for, and she's going to bring it tomorrow. I am so grateful for my family. I don't know what life would be without amazing people like them. I sitting here, still crying a little. Both out of stress and gratitude and slight relief.
I'm going to be working A LOT of overtime while they offer it though. I'm not getting to this point again. I want to rebuild my savings and have the cushion back I used to. I really gave some very powerful thought to cashing in my 401k. I'm not going to live long enough to retire anyway. I'm a fat kid with a family history of diabetes, heart disease and mental illness. I'm sure something will get me before I can retire.
Oh, and GIRL STUFF.
That is all from this ray of sunshine.
