The only other thing I see is to get rid of the jumping down the hole for sally, and the part about torturing the girl who was already killed by Nathan. Then everything will be matching up,
I think you thought that the chasm I mentioned in my previous post was to the sewers. It was suppose to be a hallucination so Glory didn't go running off without her. But I see how it could be taken either way. Which way do you want to go with it?
Eiri Yuki s Lover
YukiFangirlSupreme (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
@Shom:
Lol just got ur last comment ^^; so now I'm commeting late haha I think I'm fairly out of it...and will go to bed soon
Shom
Grand Otaku | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
@Eiri Yuki s Lover:
Yeah, the story is consistent enough.
Eiri Yuki s Lover
YukiFangirlSupreme (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
@Shom:
I think...I got it. And since we switched posts around should I still cut the torture part? Cause I figured he would eat her after?
Shom
Grand Otaku | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
@Eiri Yuki s Lover:
Actually, never mind. These match up. Everything's good.
Shom
Grand Otaku | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
@Eiri Yuki s Lover:
The only other thing I see is to get rid of the jumping down the hole for sally, and the part about torturing the girl who was already killed by Nathan. Then everything will be matching up,
Eiri Yuki s Lover
YukiFangirlSupreme (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
@Shom:
ok I'll do that then ^^
Shom
Grand Otaku | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
If you just took out the part about busting into the sewer, then the Rei part will match up with my post.
Shom
Grand Otaku | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
I think you thought that the chasm I mentioned in my previous post was to the sewers. It was suppose to be a hallucination so Glory didn't go running off without her. But I see how it could be taken either way. Which way do you want to go with it?