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- Created By Gildas Magnus
Zexion: The Golden Madness
Zexion: The Golden Madness Zexion returned to his bedchambers. Memories of Gildas always flooded through his brain, but tonight, they drenched him in sorrow. The court musicians had been making new songs, so it seemed, and one in particular...Golden Chamber: Twilight Reaver
Gildas Magnus: Here we are. This is the final piece in the story of the Golden Chamber. As of the last story, Haru and Riku left Lindblum. Due to predetermined events, I will now be taking the role of *Zexion*. As always, my parts will be written ...Pulling Back
Another Zexion-fic. Like the past two, this Zexy-fic is based (however loosely) on true events (that have happened to me). This one is set just after Golden Chamber 2, slightly before Golden Chamber 3.
Pulling Back
Gildas pulled back. Zexion opened his eyes, his lips still locked in that position, his shirt and Gildas’ discarded on the floor. “I’m… I’m sorry. I can’t. I have to go to bed.” Gildas picked up his shirt, draping it over his shoulders, and left the room quickly. Zexion stood there, his eyes focused on that one point, just thinking. What? What? What?
Zexion picked up his shirt and slid it back on. With every button he put back into place, his mind was reeling. Why had Gildas suddenly… stopped? Button. What was wrong? Button. Gildas did take naps, but… Button. Something was wrong… Button. Now what? He stood still in the large living room, the fireplace still crackling to his side. Gildas… what was wrong with him?
Ever since becoming Regent, Gildas was acting differently. Of course, this was to be expected: he had a public to be perfect for, and guards to impress. But… Gildas had never pulled out of a kiss before. Zexions mind swam with thoughts. Did he not love me anymore? Was he just genuinely tired, and not awake enough for…more? He didn’t understand. Why?
Zexion sat down on the expensive sofa and lay his head on the side. The look in Gildas’ eyes… Sorrow? Was he cheating on him? No. Gildas would never do that. There was Demyx, but Gildas was being controlled. Of course he was. The radio by the fireplace swapped songs, skipping to their old favourite, “Lilium”. As the Latin broke into his thoughts he calmed down. Gildas was just…tired. And that was to be expected, he’d had no less that seven meetings today, and another four scheduled for tomorrow. He had to be on top form, and…
Zexion sat watching the fire crackling quietly in the grate, and a single, solitary tear ran down his cheek. Gildas was the only one who could ever make him cry… and it was a skill being put into practise more and more recently. Gildas never meant to, of course, but Zexion needed comfort, the strong boy that Gildas had been, rather than the cold, patriotic… heterosexual leader that he had to become. That was what hurt Zexion the most. Gildas would, eventually, to calm the public, have to marry. And he would have to have a wife, and have children to continue his rule. Zexion’s eyes flooded with tears. Children… that would mean he would be second-best, not important anymore… Gildas never wanted children, nor did he ever want a ‘wife’, but Zexion couldn’t help but feel he would be forced into it.
Zexion stepped forwards. He wasn’t important. Not anymore. He was second-best, silver-medallist, not good enough. He stepped forwards once more. The fire became louder as he leant forward, feeling the heat lick against his skin. One swift leap into this warmth and it would be over. No more pain, no more unhappiness, no more suffering. A few moments of physical scarring and then it would all change.
He leant further forward. Gildas didn’t need him anymore.
His left foot eased closer. Gildas would find a wife and be happy.
He reached his hand out. Gildas…
Gildas…
No. Gildas wouldn’t want this.
He stepped back, towards the sofa, feeling ashen. Gildas may have been cold recently… but a smile from him was always enough to warm his heart. Zexion thought back. If Gildas hadn’t stopped, Zexion wouldn’t have faced this decision. Wouldn’t have realised… just how special Gildas really was to him.
So sometimes, on nights when Zexion needed comforting… He always thought… Maybe it’s not so bad, pulling back…
Conversation Closed
Another Zexion-based fan-fic, this one shows the night before Gildas' death. Based on the Golden Chamber fan-fic series by Haru 93 and myself.
Gildas looked up at his lover. Zexion lay there, lying with him, the bedcovers pulled up to his neck. Zexion smiled. “What is it?” Gildas just looked back to his love. “Zexion… you know what’s going to happen… right? With me, I mean? And you know it’s… tomorrow, right?” Zexion looked sadly at his boyfriend. “Yes. I know.” Gildas looked away, blinking back the tears appearing quickly in his eyes.
“Well, Zexion, my love… Tomorrow, when I do… die… I want you to find someone new.” Zexion shook his head. “No. Never. I never want anyone but you. You’re so perfect… no-one could even compare to you.” Gildas shuffled beneath the bedcovers, turning away from the man he loved. “You don’t… understand. I’ll be gone. Forever. You’ll never see me again. And… you can’t just shut yourself away because I’m gone. You mean so much to me, I can’t just trap you like this. You need to find someone else who will love you.”
Zexion shook his head violently. “I can’t. I can go without… without physical touch. I don’t care. I just want you. No-one but you, and I couldn’t forgive myself if I ever did anything against you… I love you.” Zexion’s arms wrapped around his lovers’ waist, holding him tightly. Gildas squeezed his hands. “I know you do. And I love you… which is why I have to set you free. You can’t stay shackled to me after I die, you have to move on, find someone else who makes you feel this way…”
Zexion’s voice was quivering. “I can’t… I can’t. I love you too much, I could never let you go…” Gildas turned and looked back at him, “You have to.” Zexion shook his head again. “I just can’t, Gildas! Don’t you see? You’re the only one who can make me feel like this, I’ve never cried for a guy before, never! Then you came into my life and… I can’t live without you…”
Gildas threw the bedcovers aside and got out of the bed they shared. “What… Where are you going?” Gildas walked silently to the wardrobe, pulled out a pair of semi-formal jeans and a white shirt and pulled them quickly on. “Gildas? What are you doing?” Gildas walked to the mirror, mad a vague attempt to comb his hair, and walked to the door, opening it into the darkness. “Gildas, talk to me!” Gildas turned his head slightly, and looked at the floor by his feet. “No more. Conversation closed.” Silently, Gildas left the room, without a backwards glance to Zexion, who was now crying quietly into the extravagant pillows.
Gildas walked to the roof top, and sat watching the moonlit sky. The stars shone brighter than ever, and he knew what was to come. “Tomorrow I die… tomorrow I leave you, my love… I just hope, in breaking my heart and breaking yours, I’ve made thing easier for you…”
Awake
Beautiful song I've heard recently, "Awake" by Secondhand Serenade inspired this songfic. It's based on Zexion (as seen from the Golden Chamber series).
Awake
Zexion rose from his bedside. Turning on the radio next to his bed, he contemplated another long day of Lindblum ministration. He hated this job… Ever since Gildas died, he… that had done it. He blinked back the tears, and before he knew it, the radio had changed songs… “Awake” began to play.
As soon as the intro came on, Zexion dashed for the radio. This was their song, and he couldn’t manage it without-
“With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes… I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do, you’re an angel disguised… And you’re lying real still, but your heartbeat is fast just like mine…”
No. No. Not now. Zexion fumbled with the buttons, trying to turn it off. Please.
“I will share the air I breathe, I’ll give you my heart on a string, I just don’t wanna miss anything…”
He blinked back the tears. His vision was blurred. Come one, please, please… which was the off button? On the left…
“You’re my Key to Survival and if it’s a Hero you want, I can save you just stay here… Your whispers are priceless, your breath it is dear just please stay near…”
Too late. Zexion dissolved into sobs on his bed, wanting everything to end. Please. He couldn’t take this any longer. He missed him too much…
“Say my name, so I know it’s true, you’re changing me, you’re changing me… You’ve shown me how to live…”
Zexion threw himself into his pillow, pounding it with his fist. It wasn’t fair. Why did Gildas die? Why? Gildas was the only one… the only one in his life who meant anything anymore, and now he was gone… why did he bother to wake up in the mornings? What drove Zexion to live anymore?
“Will you stay awake for me? I don’t wanna miss anything, I don’t wanna miss anything…”
Miss anything? Gildas wasn’t missing anything at all, just the cries and tears of his love as he faced another day of anguish and pain. This was more than he could bear, he hadn’t heard this song since he and Gildas had spent their last, duty-free night under the stars, his hands in Zexion’s hair, not thinking about the future but gazing into each others eyes…
“I’ll share the air I breathe, I’ll give you my heart on a string, I just don’t wanna miss anything…”
It was over. Zexion composed himself, readjusting his robes that he forgot to take off the night before. He walked over to the mirror, and began to improve his appearance, getting rid of the tear stains in his cheeks and putting wax in his hair to regain his previous looks. Gildas always did like his hair like this… With a heavy heart, Zexion opened the door and stepped out, walking briskly along the corridor. The King and Queen had a meeting in thirty minutes.
End
