I didn’t mind dying. I had wanted to; without Riku, there was no purpose to my life. But knowing that I had sent him to his death…The sound of the explosion had ripped through my heart as watching him die would have. Would he have seen it coming, or would it have caught him unawares? Was he in pain as it happened, or had it been quick and clean? All I had left to cling on to was the idea that it may have come as a shock, it won’t have hurt him, he might not have even known it was coming…
For one light moment, I felt…connected. I was allowed to float in the skies, weightless, careless, painless…feeling tied to Riku’s heart. It was one glorious moment of sunlight in an otherwise dark hole. I felt as though I had been allowed a present, a consolation for death…and then the overwhelming rush extinguished my hope. I wasn’t with Riku, I was alone. And I was going to die alone.
I thought back to the last time something similar happened…Riku and I had been on the top deck of an airship, the wind tugging past us as we shared what we thought was to be our final embrace…But this time, loneliness was pressing down on me all around, and I was scared that would crush me before the sanctuary of death arrived. For the first time, I wasn’t ashamed to admit it…I was scared that I would be alone forever, and that didn’t seem so silly anymore.
“How does it feel, Haru? How does it feel to have your heart ripped apart, to be crushed from every possible angle? How does it feel to be shut off from everything that ever mattered, having your soul slashed into shreds?” Haru didn’t answer; she just stared at the earth, thousands of feet below. “It hurts, doesn’t it? There’s a short feeling of intense pain, a glimpse of freedom, and then it hits home. You’ll never hear his voice again, never feel his touch, never again will you look into the perfect eyes of the one you love. It hurts, doesn’t it?”
Haru still remained silent and motionless. I laughed maniacally. “Oh, your face! Your posture! Your inner pain! How wonderful it will be to see when I really do kill Riku!” Haru lifted her face, a look of confused rage on her face. “That’s right. I destroyed an island, yes, but not Destiny Islands. I wanted to gauge your reaction; and how priceless it was!” Haru stood up, walking towards me with her fist in position. I adopted a stern look and stepped forwards, clicking my fingers. Haru flew back to the edge of the sphere, and struggled to get free. “Tut tut, Haru. Don’t be such a fool. Attempting an attack on myself will only enrage me further. You’re already on Santa’s Naughty List; do you want a whole new list to yourself?” Haru hung her head in shame, sighing heavily.
I’d had enough. I walked forwards briskly, and she noticed my approach, lifting her head. I reached a reasonably close distance and slapped her, hard across her left cheek. She smiled. “Enough games.” I clicked my fingers, and her head was thrown back, her arms and legs pinned to her sides. “Until I decide the time is right for Riku to die, I’ll simply torture you. I’m thinking about bringing you within an inch of death and then healing you completely, and starting all over again? Sound good?” I received no answer, so I considered the possibilities. I threw a hand out, another bubble flying off in the direction of Destiny Islands, and threw out my other hand, a jolt of electricity flying from it, dancing around Haru’s body. As it touched, spiked, she writhed in pain. This would be fun.
Zexion’s slap was hard and firm, and yet the pain felt good. I felt the electricity sear through me and tried to twist away purely on impulse. The pain burnt through my body, spreading along with a warm, calm feeling. The fact that Riku was still alive had instilled a new sense of self in me. I knew I needed to survive, to warn him, to tell him that Zexion was after him. After that, I could do no more, and I would be free to leave this world forever. Another bolt of electricity flew through me, and I laughed to try and enrage Zexion. He stepped close to me, so I could see the hate clearly in his eyes. “You can take my teeth, or my bones. They don’t matter to me anymore,” I quoted in a mocking voice, and I saw a flash of light flicker over Zexion’s face.
Zexion kept throwing thunder through me, until it was practically constantly flowing. But far from killing me, it was jolting me back to life. That didn’t stop it from hurting, but it made the excruciating pain bearable. I would show Zexion how strong I could be. I would resist anything he threw at me, and come out of the other end laughing. I smiled widely at him to make my point, egging
on his next move.
Haru remained incessantly pain-free, the damage not mentally scarring her at all. I decided to aim for a different tactic. Lightning had failed, and so I’d go for the unexpected. A flash of dark light, the lightning disappeared, and for a few, short moments Haru was free of the torturous effects I had been attempting. Then, before Haru could register the lack of voltage, I began to freeze her in dark ice, starting underneath her fingernails and working my way up, placing small shards of the black ice within her bloodstream. She would scream before I was done.
Her eyes widened in shock and her mouth jutted open, but no sound escaped her lips. I froze the moisture in her hair, the pores of her skin, and the insides of her lungs. She had not made a sound yet, but she would. She’d have to. I’d make her. That’s the beauty of Ice… if it doesn’t cause the perfect pain, the combination of Ice and Fire will send the system into shock.
The ice was an interesting change from the thunder, and yet it still didn’t hurt. But I knew that next would be fire, which would send my body into melt-down. So I let my jaw fall open and carefully widened my eyes, hoping that he would think he was winning and let his guard drop. And yet still I refused to make any sound. I began to focus all my energy – which must have given my eyes a glazed look, but I hoped Zexion would put it down to the ice – and it wasn’t long before Zexion began to smirk. Eventually he let up completely to laugh openly, and I knew I had to take my chance. “Firaja!” I screamed silently, letting the blazing stream of fire engulf Zexion. I knew it wouldn’t hold him for long, though, so the next thought was, “Teleport!”
Everything went black, and then pictures began spinning into blurred vision. Before anything could focus, exhaustion overwhelmed me, and I fell forwards. But the dull clunk I was expecting didn’t come; instead, the warm darkness wrapped me up comfortably, and I didn’t have to think anymore. It was blissfully peaceful, finally being out of my mind. I didn’t have to be this way anymore…
