@SunfallE:

It's the same in Idaho. And sadly, for the same reason. I personally find it narrow minded and incredibly stupid. And yes you are correct about what religion said persons belong too.

Oh the joy of living in Utah where the dominant religion preaches that the ultimate goal for a woman is to stay at home and raise babies! *is shot*

Makes me wonder if said friends are LDS. Anyway, I agree with you on this, there is absoutely nothing wrong with planning things and doing them in that manner.

I honestly think a lot of problems in marriage wouldn't happen if people were more conscious of how they want things to go and tried to prepare and plan.

Agree with you totally.

There are a couple of points here (that I've picked up on anyway). First, nobody really has the right to make comments about when you'll be pregnant or whatever - that's entirely your business.

And secondly, I could be missing something here... but since when is it the rule that a couple must fall pregnant right after the wedding?!

Whatever happened to focusing on career for a few years and then settling into family life later on? Or, god forbid, actually developing a relationship further before taking that big step. I don't understand what the rush is all about.

If you have children it should be in your own time, when you are both comfortable. Simple as that.

Continuing your study isn't at all selfish - it's responsible. You'll be better able to provide for your child if you finish that hard work. It's good for you and therefore good for your family.

I just don't get this idea that as soon as the wedding is over, the baby has to appear. Why? That's not at all how normal life works. And you can't just have a baby because you feel pressured or you are working to a certain schedule - it all has to happen in a way that you're both comfortable and happy with.

I get annoyed when people stick their noses in with stuff like this. Good on you for standing up for what you want to do!

Mmmm, the ever dreaded "Pregnant pot". I really don't think it's funny that people bet on your love life and when someone is going to be pregnant or not. It's rude and it really is none of anyone's buisness when you decide to have children or not. Personally, I believe that when a woman is ready, then that's the time to have children. Doesn't always go that way, but hey. *shrugs*

As far as kissing your Ph.D. goodbye, that's a crock of feces, because I know people that are still getting their graduate degrees while they have children(often more than one)and they manage to make it just fine.

*sigh* People will be people, I guess.

Is it sad that I can probably guess which friends are being difficult? I will never understand the mentality that for a woman, marriage means no life outside of the home. It's just stupid. Of course kids are going to come first if you have them, but that doesn't mean she has to stay home all the time.

Well, congrats on passing the test! And I agree that it's good for teachers to keep their class somewhat in control. I know my Philosophy teacher was young and allowed people to go on rants...but luckily, it still kept within the subject and philosophy is basically just making your opinion appear as fact. lol!

Hmph, I'm never thought that about people who get married...that their lives will basically end after marriage. It's smart to finish your degree but then again, I wouldn't have expected you to drop out anyway.

Obviously, having a kid is a different story since if you somehow get pregnant while trying to finish up your degree, that could pose a problem. Reminds me of in 'Sex and the City' when the lawyer, Miranda got pregnant she didn't want to tell anyone in her firm about it because she knew that they'd all say the same thing, "well, there goes your law degree!" But obviously, she showed them and got right back into her job once her maternity leave was over.

Nothing wrong with rants, we all need to get stuff off our chest.

~*Elves and Jenks

As an afterthought... I wonder if these are the sort of people who've been led to believe that birth control is ineffective. You'd know that better than I would.

Yeah, they have no idea what they're talking about. My sister got married in 2000, and since then she has achieved her Doctorate. They've been married almost 9 years now and they haven't had any kids yet. So you are free to use my sister as an example if your friends continue to be idiots.

Go Indi go! When you first get married it is not a good idea to get pregnant right off the bat. You two will be married. I am sure there will be things to get used to before you think about adding a kid. (Like changing your last name, bank accounts, cooking, cleaning...just getting used to eachother as husband and wife.) Prove them wrong, Indi!