How to Make Good Food (With Kyra!!)

PPAAAAAASSSSTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How to make pasta (according to Zoe and Kyra)

1. Get noodles.
2. Boil water.
3. Throw noodles in water and hope it doesn't burn.
4. When it does burn, grab the fire extinguisher.
5. Follow the instructions of fire extinguisher (or just stand there and scratch your head, depending on your ability to read fire extinguisher instructions)
6. Sigh in relief.

SSSSSAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How to make the sauce (to go with your pasta)

1. Get tomatoes and hope they're not rotten.
2. Mash them with your bare hands (if you do it with a fork or any utensil, it will not taste as good)
3. Put it in a pan and turn on stove (make sure your fire extinguisher is still handy)
4. Put random spices in the tomato stuff and hope you get the mixture right (no, mayonnaise is NOT a spice)
5. After it boils, taste it carefully using a metal spoon.
6. Drink ice-water to heal burn on tongue.
7. Pour sauce over noodles.

PPPPPAAAAAAARRRRRMMMEEESSSSAAANNNN CCHHHEEEEESSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How to make Parmesan cheese.

1. Go outside and find your friendly neighborhood cow (make sure you don't get caught trespassing)
2. Attempt to sooth your cow while yanking on its utter (aim for the bucket, you can have sawdust in your milk, but it's not recommended)
3. Bring your milk home and let it sit in the hot sun for 10-12 years (your noodles may be rotten by then, but, eh, who cares?)
4. Magically change the milk into cheese.
5. Cut it with a knife into little bits (make sure you don't cut your fingers in the process; blood does not taste good in this recipe)
6. Put cheese on top of noodles and sauce.

ENJOY!!

Make sure you follow these instructions exactly. If you do not, we will send the Doctor to hunt you down (and possibly Death the Kid, depending on our mood)

We claim no liability for illnesses gained through our recipe.