Significant Other: Retro Game
Because nothing says “I love you” like an original, mint-condition, Japanese cartridge of their favorite SNES game.
Note: obviously this will only apply to females giving their gamer boyfriend/husband gifts, or male-male relationships, as we all know, no female anywhere has played a video game ever.
So you want to celebrate with that special someone? You want the perfect gift to bribe convince them into staying with you for the rest of your pathetic life?
Well the only option then is a classic game. An unopened package version of their favourite old game will have them head-over heels in love with you. Why? Because it shows that you have enough money to spend some on useless junk!
And as we all know, people love those that have lots of money. If you want to be in a successful long-term relationship, you must have money. Money makes you attractive. Money makes you relationship material.
So next time you want to ensnare someone into liking you, be sure to get them a mint condition copy of their favourite old game (which you obviously know, due to all that time you have stalked them).
Follow this tip, and you’ll be raking in the relationships faster than you can say, “I am well-endowed!”
(Which, for the record, does not work very well. I have tried.)
