The Silent (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 12/01/11 | Reply
Take heart, I've been there.
To echo the words of many of the previous commenters, I will say...
There is definitely a period after you quit a job (or are fired) where you may feel quite aimless, listless, panic-y, etc. Just persevere, the waters will become less choppy. And it doesn't actually matter if you hated your job and really wanted to leave, or the reason you got fired was totally bogus, or you just left of your own accord, or wanted to focus on something else, etc! Either way, you may feel pretty weird, and it definitely gets better.
And this is definitely quite normal, as an artist, to feel totally, soul-crushingly inadequate at times. What are you supposed to do? Keep drawing. Keep doing what you love. That sounds cheesy and dumb. But I'm 90% sure that if you just stopped drawing altogether you'd sink even further, and feel even more off. And why is that? Because drawing is obviously a part of who you are. In any event, that's what I feel like if I somehow go an entire week without drawing. I feel totally off-center. Even if I wanted to stop, I couldn't.
One of my art teachers would constantly recite, as a mantra - "If you're not feeling uncomfortable, then be afraid - you should be feeling uncomfortable, embrace it. It means that you're in the right place, and bound to grow." Becoming complacent is exactly the thing you don't want. Breakthroughs happen in your work at an uneven and irregular pace.
It's difficult for me to come up with any more specific advice than just that little pep talk. But I can certainly try!
If you feel stuck where you are in your work, sometimes it helps to try some new media. Force yourself to work with some stuff you've never tried before. Sometimes something as simple as even using a different color to start with can thrust you into a new zone, new territory to explore. I'm really not just making this up - something crazy happened to my art when I picked up an orange pen, rather than a black one, and started scribbling my drawings, and then a purple one instead of a black one. Literally. (I was drawing musicians in the dark, ok!) But it truly can shake things up. And even if you put those new tools down, you may bring new discoveries back to your old methods.
Also... I don't like playing this card, but you're 20 (which is young - and that's also a difficult age, when it comes to emotions, and responsibility). And an art school is a world with a totally different structure than the many other worlds outside it. You will continue to grow, the others who have commented before me trust in that, and so do I! Make contacts within the school to cherish - and find ways of making contacts with people outside the school. Seek out galleries. I've gotten lots of commissions just by knowing the right people and knowing the right things, or being willing to meet some crazy deadlines. There will always be people with different styles, and different niches.
There is a place for you and your art in this world. Keep drawing, try not to fear that discomfort! You'll pull through.
Hey man, art is too subjective to be saying things like that. You may think that you're not succeeding and can't hold up, but that doesn't mean that you're doing poorly. You have talent all your own and a ton of it to boot. The way I see it, you're doing beautifully and all you need is a break. There's been a lot of shit you've dealt with in the past few months and it would do you good to just chillax and restore your creative well. It takes a lot of hard work and stamina to do what you're doing, so don't sell yourself short.
If there is anyone who needs to feel down on herself it's me. The photography program really did a number on me. It's gotten to the point where I loathed it so much...I couldn't even pick up my Nikon without expressing a scowl. I ended up dropping out of the program entirely.
Now that I finished my AA and got out of the college atmosphere I feel better about myself and even found a new passion: Cosplay photography. However I still have this singe of guilt and depression about how I am not a good photographer because I dropped out/got bad grades.
Anyways, remember that you are an AMAZING artist. I don't know anyone who is as skilled at photoshop as YOU. You have the creativity and imagination to make it in this world as an artist. One thing to keep in mind: Professors will always have some sort of bias. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't. Just because it is their opinions and their bias doesn't mean you are any less of an artist. Look at Dr Seuss as an example. He got ridiculed a lot in art school but he is known as one of the biggest geniuses of all time in literature. Keep your chin up and keep working hard. I've known you as someone who's stubborn, strong, and mature. Don't let this knock you down. Just remember you are a great artist and work hard and I'm sure you will be fine.
Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat.
I constantly feel the same way about my job. Worrying if I'm doing good enough and so forth. So I can relate to that feeling. However:
I'm almost done with this year, and I will be so happy when I get to be home for five weeks and not have to worry so much. Maybe I can get back on track.
^This. Seriously. You sound like you need a break and a chance to breathe after working so hard. Just hang in there cause like you said, you're almost done. :)
Vagrant AI (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 11/30/11 | Reply
If it helps, I constantly feel this way about people in my Japanese class or even just random people who I perceive as being better at the language than me. I end up doing that comparison thing and yeah. But like you said, you just can't do that sort of thing to yourself. It's not that easy to stop doing, I know, but... yeah, about now is when I give you an internet hug. *hugs*
You are very talented and don't let anyone or yourself think otherwise. :|
I don't know how comforting this will actually be, but Kat: this post tells me that you are an artist. Not someone who dabbles in, vaguely enjoys, or pursues art on the side. You are an artist. Because every artist is concerned by this. Every artist I have ever known feels inadequate. My sense is that most artists feel it more often than they don't. I feel this constantly as a writer.
But try to take heart, because ultimately it stems from a desire to improve. If you didn't truly want to improve you wouldn't give a crap. And where there is desire and effort, there will be improvement.
I think you are fantastic, and I genuinely enjoy your art. If you keep at it, you will improve -- perhaps never to your satisfaction, but if you did you wouldn't be an artist. My old adviser told me once, "Your ambition will forever outstrip your ability to reach it." And that's actually good.
snow fox
The Silent (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 12/01/11 | Reply
Take heart, I've been there.
To echo the words of many of the previous commenters, I will say...
There is definitely a period after you quit a job (or are fired) where you may feel quite aimless, listless, panic-y, etc. Just persevere, the waters will become less choppy. And it doesn't actually matter if you hated your job and really wanted to leave, or the reason you got fired was totally bogus, or you just left of your own accord, or wanted to focus on something else, etc! Either way, you may feel pretty weird, and it definitely gets better.
And this is definitely quite normal, as an artist, to feel totally, soul-crushingly inadequate at times. What are you supposed to do? Keep drawing. Keep doing what you love. That sounds cheesy and dumb. But I'm 90% sure that if you just stopped drawing altogether you'd sink even further, and feel even more off. And why is that? Because drawing is obviously a part of who you are. In any event, that's what I feel like if I somehow go an entire week without drawing. I feel totally off-center. Even if I wanted to stop, I couldn't.
One of my art teachers would constantly recite, as a mantra - "If you're not feeling uncomfortable, then be afraid - you should be feeling uncomfortable, embrace it. It means that you're in the right place, and bound to grow." Becoming complacent is exactly the thing you don't want. Breakthroughs happen in your work at an uneven and irregular pace.
It's difficult for me to come up with any more specific advice than just that little pep talk. But I can certainly try!
If you feel stuck where you are in your work, sometimes it helps to try some new media. Force yourself to work with some stuff you've never tried before. Sometimes something as simple as even using a different color to start with can thrust you into a new zone, new territory to explore. I'm really not just making this up - something crazy happened to my art when I picked up an orange pen, rather than a black one, and started scribbling my drawings, and then a purple one instead of a black one. Literally. (I was drawing musicians in the dark, ok!) But it truly can shake things up. And even if you put those new tools down, you may bring new discoveries back to your old methods.
Also... I don't like playing this card, but you're 20 (which is young - and that's also a difficult age, when it comes to emotions, and responsibility). And an art school is a world with a totally different structure than the many other worlds outside it. You will continue to grow, the others who have commented before me trust in that, and so do I! Make contacts within the school to cherish - and find ways of making contacts with people outside the school. Seek out galleries. I've gotten lots of commissions just by knowing the right people and knowing the right things, or being willing to meet some crazy deadlines. There will always be people with different styles, and different niches.
There is a place for you and your art in this world. Keep drawing, try not to fear that discomfort! You'll pull through.
Nehszriah
Hits Self With Axe (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 12/01/11 | Reply
Hey man, art is too subjective to be saying things like that. You may think that you're not succeeding and can't hold up, but that doesn't mean that you're doing poorly. You have talent all your own and a ton of it to boot. The way I see it, you're doing beautifully and all you need is a break. There's been a lot of shit you've dealt with in the past few months and it would do you good to just chillax and restore your creative well. It takes a lot of hard work and stamina to do what you're doing, so don't sell yourself short.
Be true, be you and of course, be otaku.
bellpickle
Pickle of the Year (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 12/01/11 | Reply
Regardless of your grades, a talent is a talent. As long as you're using your powers for Good, I see no reason for you to beat yourself up. :)
Japan
Bagel Gurl | Posted 11/30/11 | Reply
If there is anyone who needs to feel down on herself it's me. The photography program really did a number on me. It's gotten to the point where I loathed it so much...I couldn't even pick up my Nikon without expressing a scowl. I ended up dropping out of the program entirely.
Now that I finished my AA and got out of the college atmosphere I feel better about myself and even found a new passion: Cosplay photography. However I still have this singe of guilt and depression about how I am not a good photographer because I dropped out/got bad grades.
Anyways, remember that you are an AMAZING artist. I don't know anyone who is as skilled at photoshop as YOU. You have the creativity and imagination to make it in this world as an artist. One thing to keep in mind: Professors will always have some sort of bias. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't. Just because it is their opinions and their bias doesn't mean you are any less of an artist. Look at Dr Seuss as an example. He got ridiculed a lot in art school but he is known as one of the biggest geniuses of all time in literature. Keep your chin up and keep working hard. I've known you as someone who's stubborn, strong, and mature. Don't let this knock you down. Just remember you are a great artist and work hard and I'm sure you will be fine.
Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat.
SunfallE
Nyaa~ (ZE MEANIE) | Posted 11/30/11 | Reply
I constantly feel the same way about my job. Worrying if I'm doing good enough and so forth. So I can relate to that feeling. However:
I'm almost done with this year, and I will be so happy when I get to be home for five weeks and not have to worry so much. Maybe I can get back on track.
^This. Seriously. You sound like you need a break and a chance to breathe after working so hard. Just hang in there cause like you said, you're almost done. :)
In the name of the tune I will punish you!
Miss Anonymous
Vagrant AI (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 11/30/11 | Reply
If it helps, I constantly feel this way about people in my Japanese class or even just random people who I perceive as being better at the language than me. I end up doing that comparison thing and yeah. But like you said, you just can't do that sort of thing to yourself. It's not that easy to stop doing, I know, but... yeah, about now is when I give you an internet hug. *hugs*
You are very talented and don't let anyone or yourself think otherwise. :|
Ducky
Imaginary Duck (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 11/30/11 | Reply
I don't know how comforting this will actually be, but Kat: this post tells me that you are an artist. Not someone who dabbles in, vaguely enjoys, or pursues art on the side. You are an artist. Because every artist is concerned by this. Every artist I have ever known feels inadequate. My sense is that most artists feel it more often than they don't. I feel this constantly as a writer.
But try to take heart, because ultimately it stems from a desire to improve. If you didn't truly want to improve you wouldn't give a crap. And where there is desire and effort, there will be improvement.
I think you are fantastic, and I genuinely enjoy your art. If you keep at it, you will improve -- perhaps never to your satisfaction, but if you did you wouldn't be an artist. My old adviser told me once, "Your ambition will forever outstrip your ability to reach it." And that's actually good.