Hopefully he gets what you mean and won't be clueless! and I hope you two work things out!
lol I'm just getting all worried again over nothing again, but you have a point! XD
Well, I hinted that I had had something I wanted to tell him, but I'd wanted to do it in person... And he said "Ohhhh... gotcha gotcha. Well then you should tell me the next time we hang out =D"
You're not being nosy XD; I'm the one who told you, silly =P
maybe it depends on how sick he was? but still he could of at least send one quick message letting you know instead of having you sent that one message to get his attention in the first place.
Oh he didn't even know, maybe you two can work things out now that you got his attention again?
ah man now I'm feel like I'm being nosy...O_o'
Well, I'd sent him a message saying I wasn't going to send him any more messages and he replied. Appreantly, he says he's been sick and under a Nyquil-induced coma =P Still, I mean, I still reply to texts and stuff when I'm sick, unless I get a color-flash migraine, in which case, I can't even look at a screen without feeling ill =>.<=
Hm, it's possible... If this continues, I might have to do that. But he doesn't know that I'd been into him, which is why I wanted to get in contact with him in the first place =>_<;=
lol no it's okay, I'm just assuming that guy is an idiot who can't make up his mind and he should be grateful that you even bothered with him in the first place.
Yeah he's reminding me of the guy my friend put up with, I think she ended up dropping him cause she wasn't going to wait for him to some around.
I don't think I did... if I did, I can't find out if he doesn't talk to me. I feel like maybe I weirded him out or something, but I can't know why for certain. Even if he didn't pay his cell bill, he's still posting on fb and not returning my messages. So I assume he doesn't want to hang out with me =/ I'm sick of this kind of crap from guys and I won't put up with it anymore =>_<;= I went out of my way just to visit him when he was recovering in the hospital and almost got lost and that's how he's gonna repay me? Screw that, let him come crawling back for forgiveness >XT
*shrugs* All I know is, I'm fed up with being ignored, so I left him a message saying I'm not sending him any more messages or texts, because he's not replying. =/ Honestly, I don't think I did anything wrong...
I guess I do, but I'm not and I never put effort into it. I'll have to talk to her someday soon if I want to do as I would like.
At least you talk about stuff, I'm just to closed.
You're reminding me of my friend, She was having a similar problem with a guy. I'm not sure what happen though.
I always try to be polite with her, but it's just hard talking with her since she talks a lot and I'm a quiet person? XD
I was referring to just opening up to others, I'm never good at talking about stuff.
Ah Guy stuff? I don't really know what to say about that. He'll have to some around some time.
Actually she does most of the talking, I normally just listen. I don't know I guess I'm just a chicken, and I'm afraid of getting into bad argument with her. I guess I just don't know how to approach her?
I get nervous, or worried so sorry again! I just have a hard time talking about stuff like that.
Anyways it looks like our minds were in different places!I was thinking money wise not really relationship wise. I'm not really into that at the moment?!! XD
lol I don't like waiting cause I'm usually stuck with little kids that scream and it drives me nuts!XD
Well, you've known her since you were born, right? You must have some idea of what she listens to and what she doesn't? At the very least, make sure she's in a fair mood when you approach her and try not to be too agitated when you bring it up. Staying calm helps the message get through better, more often than not. But I can only say that from one pov, as I don't know your mother all that well.
Pffft, calm down XD; *pats your head* You're going to have a heart attack X3
Ah, ok. Sorry, I'm having guy troubles, so relationship stuff is kinda at the forefront of my brain, right now... XD;
I usually bring something to do while I wait. That's the ont thing I actually like about going to the doctor X3 It's a nice quiet place to do some reading or drawing XD (if there are no kids or people in extreme pain there XD;)
hm you have a point, but I've never really been good at talking to my mother. It's just really uncomfortable and I really wish she would listen to me. It feels like it goes in one ear out the other.
I really don't want to burden you with it, I just started yapping!!! Sorry!!!@_@
Well by settling down I just meant have a steady income, that's all. I don't want to sound annoying or anything.
It is best to get check ups, I would like to, but at the same time no, mainly cause I hate going to the doctor. I hate waiting?!! XD
Of course it's going to be hard, it's a heavy subject =/ That doesn't mean you should avoid it =o~o= But in the end, it's really up to you. I think it's best to at least bring up these thoughts now so that she has time to think about it for a bit.
Ah, well *shrugs*
There's no guarantee I'll ever "settle down" I don't want to use that as a defining point =o-o;= *is a sore subject* I haven't had a dog in 11 years and we haven't been able to get another one because of so many stupid circumstances it makes me wanna throw something through a window! DX<
Yup. Although they say you need to go in for check-ups... I'm covered under my parents insurance until I'm 26 and then I've got nothing =/ So perhaps I might need to go in maybe once or twice between now and then...
It would be nice to sit down with her and talk about what I want to do with myself, but our points of view are so different that there are somethings I just rather not talk about with her and it just makes things hard for me.
oh goodness, I was thinking cleaning products, not that! XD My bad, when I was working as a cleaner, I never really got the restrooms, so I don't know how bad that was, I mainly did trash duty, dusting,vacuuming,etc and it was tough. The only smelly thing would be in the trash, but depending what is in there? XD
I've thought about that too, and I think I would be fine living by myself for a while. I think pet food would be able to fit in the budget, but it would be better to get one when you are settle down?
I guess you're right, it better to go see a doctor if things get really serious. Anyways you could go and they might find anything wrong and then they'll just charge and then there's that fact that it takes forever to be seen? XD
Well you need to have a serious talk with her about something like that =/ Perhaps you two could come to a compromise if you're honest and serious about doing something.
I wasn't really thinking about the cleaning products... I was thinking about toilets and vomit XD; Usually I think about refrigerators and food that's been in there too long, but maybe that sort of thing wouldn't occur in the workplace as often...
Yep. I think it might be nice to live on my own... but then I'd be terrbly lonely... =( And then I think, if I had a pet, maybe I'd be alright for a bit, but pets can be expensive. But if I'm able to afford living on my own, I'd probably be able to afford pet food and stuff, right? =oxo= *scratches head*
I'll go to a doctor when I need a broken bone mended or an organ ruptures or I have some irreversible pain that pain relievers just won't work on... Emergency room and urgent care stuff... =T
I say "Stab in the back" making it sound like I'm going to do something suspicious when all I want is just to do some soul searching? It's hard to for me to even know what I want, but whatever it is, I know my mother won't approve of me just getting up and leaving.
I'm just throwing ideas out? Sorry! Cleaning is not to bad at first and you don't really have to use that many cleaning products and as for mold, I think that would depend what building you're working at.
It would be nice for you to just leave the house and come home, to have your "Me Time"
yeah, you're right about the doctors, they won't do much but give you pills. Anyways I think that's all they do! XD
He used an example of playing with his children. He would feel hesitant to do so because he wanted to do work, or when he would he wouldn't feel particularly joyful, but he said that was because he didn't accept feeling the happiness of playing with his children.
Hopefully the books will get you into the spirit of inspiration~! >:D
He doesn't accept feeling happy with his accomplishments? =o.o;= How odd... but I can't say I don't understand...
I had one a couple months ago... was torturous XD Then I sorta got used to it, but still a bit irked when there was something I wanted to look up, but couldn't go online... I'm going to be getting some books in the mail, soon, so I'll have a nice distraction X3
I'm not sure if anything I could do would stab my mother in the back... except maybe ouright disrespecting her or doing something... unsavory =T
I don't mind cleaning. I think I'm pretty good at it. But I reeeally hate mold and I have a sensitive nose =>.<;= I'm sure there are plenty of ways I could make money where I am, but I suppose what I want is to work outside the house so my time spent at home I can use to do "me" things, y'know? =T But you should take a break for two days =o.o= It's might be a bit hard, but it'll do you some good in the long run =3
Beh, doctors can't do anything for me =/ Everytime I go, they either find nothing or throw some pills at me XD;
Hah! No! XD You just said you didn't feel like your dreams were realistic. If they're not then try to make them realistic.
Well, that's good! Hrmm...well, I heard this one psychologist guy or something say he did't feel like he was being productive or didn't feel happy doing different things because he didn't accept those feelings...Dunno what that means exactly, but maybe that's the problem...O.o; I don't really know....>3> I do that stuff a lot, too...not accepting things. It seems like you're in a very long rut...and I hope you can get out of it...;m;
Maybe you just need a good internet break...but you sound like you get out a lot...Hrmm...(I'm trying to play doctor here, but I'm not very good at it...XD)
All I can say is just keep trying to do something different.
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
wow I just read this and it seems like you're really depressed right now and I know how you feel. I've been in the dumps too, the only thing is I won't talk about it and I'm just forcing myself into doing other stuff to keep my mind occupied while killing my arm.
I've actually been thinking about stuff like this too. I've been feeling like I'm doing a lot of stuff, but I don't see myself going anywhere with it and then I've been regretting a lot of stupid things I did to end up where I am now.
I've been locked up in my house to, for way to long and now there are a lot of things I want to do and I actually want to leave my house to go do them, but I feel like if I do that, then I would be stabbing my mother in the back. Sometimes I feel like I never really grew up, I'm just a child doing as they are told or I'm just being a selfish.
Looking for a job ight now is pretty hard, and I hate to even recommend it but maybe you could try applying for a cleaning job? I had to start with that since no other place would hire me since I didn't have any job experience or references. I hated the job, but at least it provided some money.
If you don't want to that, then maybe you could apply for a government job? I think you just need a HS diploma to get it, and since you graduated college, you should get even better changes of getting hired? you could visit UsaJobs and just fill out the resume. I haven't tried the site yet, but I heard there are a lot of good jobs there, then again I'm not even sure if you would be interested in working for the government? I just see it as a big pay check? XD
As for drawing, I'm not really sure what to say about that. It's really up to you. I know that no matter how bad things get, I really can't let drawing go because it has always gotten my through some really bad things. I also release my stress that way even though my hand is killing me really bad.
If you are feeling physically weak, maybe you should see a Doctor, it's not good if you are loosing weight and losing you're apatite.
I don't fully understand, but I feel a bit like you just insulted my dream XD; lol
I have been doing some artwork and stuff for my friend's MLP rview, so I'm part of that, I guess. I debated whether or not to just do rambling on youtube for entertainment, but like I said, not motivated for much of anything nowadays. I dunno what can change that, if anything, or if I'm just having some sort of chemical imbalance. Perhaps if I have a fruit I'll feel better *shrugs*
The thing that takes up most of my time is keepin an eye on dad. And the internet... I do way too much useless browsing.
I also feel I more often than not update about how down I am and then the next day, things are usually ok again =/ We'll see what happens this time =__=;
Some dreams seem unrealistic because they don't exist or exist in the way you dream it to be...so go make it that way. Go make something up. You have the internet at your disposal. It may not be a job, but it'll keep you going.
I'm talking about web shows, etc.. Keep other people entertained if that's what you're good at. Or do some sort of writing. Produce something.
I don't have very good advice because I'm not in the situation that you are in at all...but all I can really say is go for it! Do something! Make yourself do a project.
Actually, this might help, figure out what's taking up most of the time (recreational) and do something else in that time.
And of course you can start small. Everyone should start small, in my opinion. I feel like the people who start out big have some egos...or they don't understand those who started small....
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/13/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Nope, just somethin going around, I guess =/ It is that time of year X3
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/13/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
I thought you got his cold or something! I myself haven't been feeling to well either, but mine is just annoying allergies. XD
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/13/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Lolz, no no X3 We haven't seen each other since last week =P Thankees =3
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/13/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
oh dear did he pass you his cold now? XD I do hope things work out, I dno't think he'd be to clueless.
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/11/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Well, I plan to say things as straight to the point as possible XD I'm sure he won't be X3 Now we're both sick, tho =/
Lol *pats* Have a nice cuppa tea =P
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/11/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
Hopefully he gets what you mean and won't be clueless! and I hope you two work things out!
lol I'm just getting all worried again over nothing again, but you have a point! XD
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
I agree... =/
Well, I hinted that I had had something I wanted to tell him, but I'd wanted to do it in person... And he said "Ohhhh... gotcha gotcha. Well then you should tell me the next time we hang out =D"
You're not being nosy XD; I'm the one who told you, silly =P
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/10/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
maybe it depends on how sick he was? but still he could of at least send one quick message letting you know instead of having you sent that one message to get his attention in the first place.
Oh he didn't even know, maybe you two can work things out now that you got his attention again?
ah man now I'm feel like I'm being nosy...O_o'
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/09/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Well, I'd sent him a message saying I wasn't going to send him any more messages and he replied. Appreantly, he says he's been sick and under a Nyquil-induced coma =P Still, I mean, I still reply to texts and stuff when I'm sick, unless I get a color-flash migraine, in which case, I can't even look at a screen without feeling ill =>.<=
Hm, it's possible... If this continues, I might have to do that. But he doesn't know that I'd been into him, which is why I wanted to get in contact with him in the first place =>_<;=
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/09/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
lol no it's okay, I'm just assuming that guy is an idiot who can't make up his mind and he should be grateful that you even bothered with him in the first place.
Yeah he's reminding me of the guy my friend put up with, I think she ended up dropping him cause she wasn't going to wait for him to some around.
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/08/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
I don't think I did... if I did, I can't find out if he doesn't talk to me. I feel like maybe I weirded him out or something, but I can't know why for certain. Even if he didn't pay his cell bill, he's still posting on fb and not returning my messages. So I assume he doesn't want to hang out with me =/ I'm sick of this kind of crap from guys and I won't put up with it anymore =>_<;= I went out of my way just to visit him when he was recovering in the hospital and almost got lost and that's how he's gonna repay me? Screw that, let him come crawling back for forgiveness >XT
... sorry, I ranted XD;
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/08/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
Did you do something to offend him or something? Or did he forget to pay his bill? That not nice to just ignore someone.
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/08/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Good luck =3
Bah... I guess =P
*shrugs* All I know is, I'm fed up with being ignored, so I left him a message saying I'm not sending him any more messages or texts, because he's not replying. =/ Honestly, I don't think I did anything wrong...
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/08/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
I guess I do, but I'm not and I never put effort into it. I'll have to talk to her someday soon if I want to do as I would like.
At least you talk about stuff, I'm just to closed.
You're reminding me of my friend, She was having a similar problem with a guy. I'm not sure what happen though.
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/07/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Well, be more vocal, just be polite about it XD
Well, I guess I just spew stuff out on the internet, cuz I keep it more bottled irl X3;
I can't do anything about it if he doesn't get back in contact with me =>_<;= I hate being ignored...
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/07/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
I always try to be polite with her, but it's just hard talking with her since she talks a lot and I'm a quiet person? XD
I was referring to just opening up to others, I'm never good at talking about stuff.
Ah Guy stuff? I don't really know what to say about that. He'll have to some around some time.
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/07/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Well, best to put it out there, at least. You'll have to be firm, but polite, then =T
XD; Stuff like what? I've lost track of what you were referring to XD;
While I could use the money, I've been tormented by thoughts of whether or not some guy is ignoring me =I
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/06/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
Actually she does most of the talking, I normally just listen. I don't know I guess I'm just a chicken, and I'm afraid of getting into bad argument with her. I guess I just don't know how to approach her?
I get nervous, or worried so sorry again! I just have a hard time talking about stuff like that.
Anyways it looks like our minds were in different places!I was thinking money wise not really relationship wise. I'm not really into that at the moment?!! XD
lol I don't like waiting cause I'm usually stuck with little kids that scream and it drives me nuts!XD
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/06/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Well, you've known her since you were born, right? You must have some idea of what she listens to and what she doesn't? At the very least, make sure she's in a fair mood when you approach her and try not to be too agitated when you bring it up. Staying calm helps the message get through better, more often than not. But I can only say that from one pov, as I don't know your mother all that well.
Pffft, calm down XD; *pats your head* You're going to have a heart attack X3
Ah, ok. Sorry, I'm having guy troubles, so relationship stuff is kinda at the forefront of my brain, right now... XD;
I usually bring something to do while I wait. That's the ont thing I actually like about going to the doctor X3 It's a nice quiet place to do some reading or drawing XD (if there are no kids or people in extreme pain there XD;)
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/06/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
hm you have a point, but I've never really been good at talking to my mother. It's just really uncomfortable and I really wish she would listen to me. It feels like it goes in one ear out the other.
I really don't want to burden you with it, I just started yapping!!! Sorry!!!@_@
Well by settling down I just meant have a steady income, that's all. I don't want to sound annoying or anything.
It is best to get check ups, I would like to, but at the same time no, mainly cause I hate going to the doctor. I hate waiting?!! XD
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/06/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Of course it's going to be hard, it's a heavy subject =/ That doesn't mean you should avoid it =o~o= But in the end, it's really up to you. I think it's best to at least bring up these thoughts now so that she has time to think about it for a bit.
Ah, well *shrugs*
There's no guarantee I'll ever "settle down" I don't want to use that as a defining point =o-o;= *is a sore subject* I haven't had a dog in 11 years and we haven't been able to get another one because of so many stupid circumstances it makes me wanna throw something through a window! DX<
Yup. Although they say you need to go in for check-ups... I'm covered under my parents insurance until I'm 26 and then I've got nothing =/ So perhaps I might need to go in maybe once or twice between now and then...
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/06/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
It would be nice to sit down with her and talk about what I want to do with myself, but our points of view are so different that there are somethings I just rather not talk about with her and it just makes things hard for me.
oh goodness, I was thinking cleaning products, not that! XD My bad, when I was working as a cleaner, I never really got the restrooms, so I don't know how bad that was, I mainly did trash duty, dusting,vacuuming,etc and it was tough. The only smelly thing would be in the trash, but depending what is in there? XD
I've thought about that too, and I think I would be fine living by myself for a while. I think pet food would be able to fit in the budget, but it would be better to get one when you are settle down?
I guess you're right, it better to go see a doctor if things get really serious. Anyways you could go and they might find anything wrong and then they'll just charge and then there's that fact that it takes forever to be seen? XD
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/05/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
Well you need to have a serious talk with her about something like that =/ Perhaps you two could come to a compromise if you're honest and serious about doing something.
I wasn't really thinking about the cleaning products... I was thinking about toilets and vomit XD; Usually I think about refrigerators and food that's been in there too long, but maybe that sort of thing wouldn't occur in the workplace as often...
Yep. I think it might be nice to live on my own... but then I'd be terrbly lonely... =( And then I think, if I had a pet, maybe I'd be alright for a bit, but pets can be expensive. But if I'm able to afford living on my own, I'd probably be able to afford pet food and stuff, right? =oxo= *scratches head*
I'll go to a doctor when I need a broken bone mended or an organ ruptures or I have some irreversible pain that pain relievers just won't work on... Emergency room and urgent care stuff... =T
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/05/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
I say "Stab in the back" making it sound like I'm going to do something suspicious when all I want is just to do some soul searching? It's hard to for me to even know what I want, but whatever it is, I know my mother won't approve of me just getting up and leaving.
I'm just throwing ideas out? Sorry! Cleaning is not to bad at first and you don't really have to use that many cleaning products and as for mold, I think that would depend what building you're working at.
It would be nice for you to just leave the house and come home, to have your "Me Time"
yeah, you're right about the doctors, they won't do much but give you pills. Anyways I think that's all they do! XD
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
@Wakusei Aoshi:
I only say this because I've felt that way, before XD;
Wakusei Aoshi
Otaku Eternal | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
Interesting take on that...I never thought of it from that perspective.
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
@Wakusei Aoshi:
Weird... he must feel guilty about something he's done and feels he doesn't deserve to feel happy...
Lol, well, I dunno about feeling inspired to draw from those books, but I'll enjoy my time reading them XD
Wakusei Aoshi
Otaku Eternal | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
He used an example of playing with his children. He would feel hesitant to do so because he wanted to do work, or when he would he wouldn't feel particularly joyful, but he said that was because he didn't accept feeling the happiness of playing with his children.
Hopefully the books will get you into the spirit of inspiration~! >:D
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
@Wakusei Aoshi:
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
He doesn't accept feeling happy with his accomplishments? =o.o;= How odd... but I can't say I don't understand...
I had one a couple months ago... was torturous XD Then I sorta got used to it, but still a bit irked when there was something I wanted to look up, but couldn't go online... I'm going to be getting some books in the mail, soon, so I'll have a nice distraction X3
Yeah, I guess I'll figure something out =o3o=
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
@toyotami kun:
I'm not sure if anything I could do would stab my mother in the back... except maybe ouright disrespecting her or doing something... unsavory =T
I don't mind cleaning. I think I'm pretty good at it. But I reeeally hate mold and I have a sensitive nose =>.<;= I'm sure there are plenty of ways I could make money where I am, but I suppose what I want is to work outside the house so my time spent at home I can use to do "me" things, y'know? =T But you should take a break for two days =o.o= It's might be a bit hard, but it'll do you some good in the long run =3
Beh, doctors can't do anything for me =/ Everytime I go, they either find nothing or throw some pills at me XD;
Wakusei Aoshi
Otaku Eternal | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
@Kitty K.O.:
Hah! No! XD You just said you didn't feel like your dreams were realistic. If they're not then try to make them realistic.
Well, that's good! Hrmm...well, I heard this one psychologist guy or something say he did't feel like he was being productive or didn't feel happy doing different things because he didn't accept those feelings...Dunno what that means exactly, but maybe that's the problem...O.o; I don't really know....>3> I do that stuff a lot, too...not accepting things. It seems like you're in a very long rut...and I hope you can get out of it...;m;
Maybe you just need a good internet break...but you sound like you get out a lot...Hrmm...(I'm trying to play doctor here, but I'm not very good at it...XD)
All I can say is just keep trying to do something different.
toyotami kun
The Marker Maniac. (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
wow I just read this and it seems like you're really depressed right now and I know how you feel. I've been in the dumps too, the only thing is I won't talk about it and I'm just forcing myself into doing other stuff to keep my mind occupied while killing my arm.
I've actually been thinking about stuff like this too. I've been feeling like I'm doing a lot of stuff, but I don't see myself going anywhere with it and then I've been regretting a lot of stupid things I did to end up where I am now.
I've been locked up in my house to, for way to long and now there are a lot of things I want to do and I actually want to leave my house to go do them, but I feel like if I do that, then I would be stabbing my mother in the back. Sometimes I feel like I never really grew up, I'm just a child doing as they are told or I'm just being a selfish.
Looking for a job ight now is pretty hard, and I hate to even recommend it but maybe you could try applying for a cleaning job? I had to start with that since no other place would hire me since I didn't have any job experience or references. I hated the job, but at least it provided some money.
If you don't want to that, then maybe you could apply for a government job? I think you just need a HS diploma to get it, and since you graduated college, you should get even better changes of getting hired? you could visit UsaJobs and just fill out the resume. I haven't tried the site yet, but I heard there are a lot of good jobs there, then again I'm not even sure if you would be interested in working for the government? I just see it as a big pay check? XD
As for drawing, I'm not really sure what to say about that. It's really up to you. I know that no matter how bad things get, I really can't let drawing go because it has always gotten my through some really bad things. I also release my stress that way even though my hand is killing me really bad.
If you are feeling physically weak, maybe you should see a Doctor, it's not good if you are loosing weight and losing you're apatite.
Kitty K.O.
Digital Neko (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
@Wakusei Aoshi:
I don't fully understand, but I feel a bit like you just insulted my dream XD; lol
I have been doing some artwork and stuff for my friend's MLP rview, so I'm part of that, I guess. I debated whether or not to just do rambling on youtube for entertainment, but like I said, not motivated for much of anything nowadays. I dunno what can change that, if anything, or if I'm just having some sort of chemical imbalance. Perhaps if I have a fruit I'll feel better *shrugs*
The thing that takes up most of my time is keepin an eye on dad. And the internet... I do way too much useless browsing.
I also feel I more often than not update about how down I am and then the next day, things are usually ok again =/ We'll see what happens this time =__=;
Wakusei Aoshi
Otaku Eternal | Posted 04/04/12 | Reply
Some dreams seem unrealistic because they don't exist or exist in the way you dream it to be...so go make it that way. Go make something up. You have the internet at your disposal. It may not be a job, but it'll keep you going.
I'm talking about web shows, etc.. Keep other people entertained if that's what you're good at. Or do some sort of writing. Produce something.
I don't have very good advice because I'm not in the situation that you are in at all...but all I can really say is go for it! Do something! Make yourself do a project.
Actually, this might help, figure out what's taking up most of the time (recreational) and do something else in that time.
And of course you can start small. Everyone should start small, in my opinion. I feel like the people who start out big have some egos...or they don't understand those who started small....