If you haven't already noticed (which, if I've been chattin with you, you already have XD), comments are back! Yaaaay~ *attempts to flail, but is too tired* ... =~v~;=

Anywho, yay~ And I'm feeling better from before. One of my guy friends IM'd me to see what was wrong and he wound up getting an earful of emo chatter =>v<;;= Lololol But I felt better, also, I found a hack for WMP 12 so I could use the mini player feature again. God bless the hackers XD I kinda wish I was a hacker myself so I could help someone, but I'd need to be SUPER smart for that, and frankly, I don't want to deal with all the math and algorithms involved to hack something XD;; Though if I get reincarnated, I hope I'm a smexy hacker =eue= Lol XD

Also, trying to catch up on homework and whatnot =~u~= My guy friend admitted something I was pretty much aware of. He said "I had a thing for you a few months back..." although at that time, I was hesitating because I'd been holding out for another guy, plus a friend of mine was saying he's just a player and had flirted with her. I think she was half joking. I've known him since high school (then again, there was another guy I knew since high school and things turned out somewhat unfavorably then... urgh, don't want to think about it too much...), so he seems harmless enough to a degree... Although I don't hang with him much so *shrugs* I hate thinking about things too much. I said we would hang out and whatnot, since we'd been out of touch for a bit. It's weird to think about it, since I did have a small crush on him back in high school, but he didn't really seem interested... now it's feels like the situation's flipped... I feel like a jerk, but I can't liike every guy that likes me... well that also sounded really jerkish... Why can't you please everyone? ;orz

... I lost my train of thought... I hate it, but I feel somewhat romantically numb atm... Or perhaps that's just feeling relaxed from last night's bath? I would like to take things as they come, but I want to punch myself for the way my mind works... I seem to like guys that don't like me, or in some way it wouldn't work out, and I can't usually seem to like guys that like me... or... I don't know... ;orz I forgot how I phrased it, but someone's always getting hurt, isn't it? ;;OTZ I hope I figure out some kind of solution soon... Or at least feel secure with the way things are... Or rather... I dunno... One of the main reasons I'm even going through all this is because I keep thinking about one guy in particular, but I don't think he sees me in the same way, or even if he does, it would probably be better if we stayed friends because he's a good guy I'd like to keep around for a while and I feel that it'd be almost certain our friendship would be ruined if we went out or something...

I... lack confidence in myself... I can't seem to think of why people like me... I'm not trying to put myself down when I say this, but... I'm honestly confused... Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was rejected from a circle of girls in kindergarten because I thought they were forming a circle of girl's wearing "Barney" shoes when they actually said "Barbie" shoes and the main girl told me to get out of the circle... *sigh* Perhaps I feel and enhanced sense of rejection or something. Perhaps I feel as though I never belonged in the first place... *rubs chin* Hm... It's my last year of college, so perhaps I should join a club... Although I'm a bit lazy, but if I want something, I have to make the effort if I feel it's worth it...

Lol XD And all that after saying I as feeling better XD;; This is what happens when I type my train of thought... XD;;; Oh well *shrugs* I'll just see how things go. =P Ja mata, minna-san =^_^=