"Hm. Such...insight. I can't help but wonder...could you be KIRA yourself?"
How rude! I absolutely will not stand for this. With an intense push of will, I shove Diana away and return to myself. "Gomen nassai, forgive me, please," I gasp. "I--did not mean for her to say that. I had no control, please forgive her rudeness." I wait for the lady to speak.
16 January 2023
She seems bewildered as she answers, "That--that's okay. I mean, you didn't mean any harm, right?" She looks nervously to the side.
I sigh. "I'm sorry. I...have multiple personalities. Sometimes they get away from me. My name is Michiko, but you can call me Koko," I explain.
The lady looks relieved. "Oh! I get it," she says. "My name's Kaori."
I glance over Kaori's shoulder and suddenly notice Nicola watching us both. "Oh, and this is my friend, Nicola," I say.
Kaori turns around to say hello, and he blushes furiously. He's a little bit shy when it comes to meeting new people. "B-b-b-buon p-p-pomeriggio, s-s-signorina," he says softly.
The lady--I mean, Kaori--turns back to me. "So was it just your personality that was interested in..." She doesn't finish her sentence, but I know what she means.
"No," I answer, "I support KIRA in whatever he or she does. My dream is to one day meet KIRA and be able to serve them to the best of my ability. I...couldn't help but overhear your conversation with the man earlier."
"Oh," says Kaori.
"And what you said...about KIRA, your beliefs," I continue excitedly, "I feel the exact same way! If KIRA could do his or her work without falling victim to a god complex, this world would be perfect! I was hoping...maybe we could work together to find KIRA. I'm not always able to be out, you know."
"Um..." Kaori looks unsure, and I don't blame her. I fish around in my purse for a card, and hand it to her.
"Here, this is the number for the asylum where I live. When you want to get in touch, just call and ask for Koko, alright?" Kaori nods and takes the card, tucking it into her own purse.
I go back to my table, where the waitress has already brought our food. "B-b-bella," Nicola begins in warning.
"Don't worry about me, tenshi," I say. "I want to help KIRA, and I know I'm smart enough to do it. This lady feels the same as I do. This is my big chance!"
"I know," he says, "b-but she-she's s-still a s-stranger, and y-you know I d-d-don't t-trust strangers." Even though he's two years older than me, Nicola could act very childish at times.
"Nicola, tell me why I'm in the mental hospital in the first place," I say gently.
He huffs and looks out the window. We've had this discussion before. "B-because one of your p-p-personalities k-killed a g-girl to p-protect y-y-you," he says in reply.
I nod. "Exactly. And what makes you think she wouldn't do it again? If anything happens, you know I'm not going down without a fight." He nods sullenly, and I continue. "Nicola, I know we've never talked about it, but...do you hate KIRA for the possibility that he might have killed your father?"
He stares out the window as he replies slowly, "N-no. I th-th-think my f-father d-d-deserved what he g-got. H-he had it c-c-coming anyway."
"That's good," I say, the small guilt I felt now lifting. We finish up our lunch, and then head back to the asylum where they are waiting for us.
16 January 2023
We head out a little later than planned, but still have enough time to take a walk around the park. I'm wearing one of my Lolita-style dresses, black and white, with neon pink and green striped leggings and my favorite charm collar. We feed the birds, sit and chat for a while, and hold the ropes for a pair of little girls to play double-dutch. Finally, we decide to head to a cafe for lunch.
I sigh a little as we enter the shop. I had kept a sharp ear out as we walked around, to hear if anyone was talking about KIRA or anything related, but all I managed to grab was bits of objective opinions.
"Did you hear about that criminal's death? And right after he got off, too! If you ask me, sounds like another KIRA..."
"No way, I don't believe in that KIRA stuff. The guy probably had one of those freak things--what do you call them? I can't..."
"What if it is KIRA? Maybe this one will be better, who knows? If this one could really take care of the criminals out there..."
I need something more concrete, something like a surefire sign that KIRA was indeed back, and responsible for that cruel man's death.
"-h-h-hey, Michiko, w-w-what will y-you h-h-have?" Nicola nudges my arm as a waitress arrives at our table.
"Yakitori to ocha o kudasai," I say, ordering my favorite dish and some tea.
The waitress collects our menus and leaves. Nicola and I sit in silence, but I'm kept busy by the conversation in my head.
Nothing, I pout. Nothing at all.
Maybe you are just looking in the wrong place, says Charlotte bouncily. They say she has bipolar disorder. Try looking in a different place!
How far can she go, Charri? It's not like she can travel where ever she likes, says Morti.
It's not a matter of distance, says Diana. She scares me a little. She's the second most powerful of my personalities, next to Dolce. Diana's a very controlling person. You simply need to look at the things around you in a different way. Look.
As if pulled by some unknown force, I glance over Nicola's shoulder to the young man and woman sitting in the booth next to ours. I focus in on what the man is saying.
"...because I can tell that, while you may not feel as strongly about Lord KIRA as I do, you don't hate KIRA either...is this making any sense?”
My eyes widen in shock. KIRA? That man...believes as I do...and the woman as well? Nicola says something to me, but I don't hear him. I suddenly feel a pull on my mind.
Let me go speak to her, says Diana. I have the expertise to decide whether she truly is for KIRA.
I don't doubt her words; after all, her schizoid personality disorder makes her perfect for interrogation. But I'm worried about allowing her control...
The young man pulls a pen out of his pocket, scribbles something on a napkin, and hands it to the woman. "Toss that somewhere on your way home," he says, "don't ask me why, please.” He stands to leave, and then shouts, “By the way! I'll see you later, to make plans! Ciao!”
Just as I'm mulling this over, I feel a massive shove in my mind, and suddenly, I've lost control.
I see myself stand up, and am slightly grateful that Diana at least is allowing me to observe. Sometimes, I black out completely, and have to be told what happened when I wake up. She walks over to the table and sits across from the lady, glaring at her.
"Are you a KIRA supporter?" she asks bluntly.
The woman's eyes widen. "Pardon me?"
"I'm not here to play with you," says Diana. I cringe at her cold tone. "Either you are, or you aren't. Which is it?"
The woman looks frightened for a moment, and then says, "I don't even know you, and I--that's a pretty controversial topic...you're just a young girl, shouldn't you be busy with other things...like..." She trails off, trying to find more excuses.
Diana stays silent, calculating, and I know her thoughts before she even does, but I'm hoping she won't... "You were just speaking with that young man about KIRA. He seemed rather eager to help serve KIRA," says Diana. "Do you believe that KIRA has returned?"
"I--I--" The lady is at a loss for words. I feel terrible. Diana feels nothing.
She leans in closer to the woman. "Did you see what happened to that criminal on the news? How blood hemorrhaged from his eyes, his mouth, his nose, until he bled to death? Quite unnatural, don't you think?"
"Yes," says the lady, "but he deserved it. He was a criminal who shouldn't have gone free. I'm glad he died."
Diana smiles. "Oh, so you do agree with KIRA?"
"Yes...and no," the woman finally admits. "I think...I think that KIRA was what this world needed...but KIRA became cocky. If the world had a KIRA without a god-complex, this world...would be perfect."
I am shocked to hear another person voice the thoughts that I harbored in my own heart. Someone else who thinks that KIRA was exactly what the world needed...maybe together we could find a way to help KIRA's mission. And then Diana speaks.
"Hm. Such...insight. I can't help but wonder...could you be KIRA yourself?"
How rude! I absolutely will not stand for this. With an intense push of will, I shove Diana away and return to myself. "Gomen nassai, forgive me, please," I gasp. "I--did not mean for her to say that. I had no control, please forgive her rudeness." I wait for the lady to speak.
