Time passed slowly, and I passed time with memories of my life before I got shipped off. My friends and I hanging out at the mall, hanging at houses, sleep overs when we stayed up all night and watched stupid horror movies and talked about how amazing our boyfriends were, talking about all the stuff we did. Insert pervy eyebrow wiggling.

Again, I was pulled out of my room and sent to group. I was disoriented. My room had no windows so I couldn't tell what time it was. I had thought it wasn't even dinner time yet, and yet it was morning. There was no introductions, so group started right away. Still in my hospital clothes, again I felt stupid. Today, the Doctor was having us share whenever we felt like, no particular order. His topic was people who made us hurt inside. After Amanda telling us about how hurt she was by people who sinned, I spoke up. I don't know why. It was probably because I was vulnerable from lack of sleep and food.
“Derek was my boyfriend. He was amazing, with soft, brown hair and deep green eyes. Laughing eyes. He and I could sit for hours doing absolutely nothing, him holding me in his arms. It was pure happiness. And then I screwed it up. I thought that he and I were meant to be, that I could tell him anything. I told him about my diagnoses. And he stood up and walked out of my life.” Tears were streaking my face. I angrily wiped them away, hating that I was getting upset over a guy that liked me for my body. Not for me.
“Are you saying you shouldn't have chosen Derek?” Doctor said. God, what an asshole.
“No. When I was with him he made me happy. All my problems went away. He was my medication. So I stopped taking the real pills. And when he left me, everything came back with a vengeance. And I snapped.” I left out the fact that I was to sick from my own blood I couldn't continue to my vein, because there was just so much blood. I puked and fainted before I got deep enough for me not to wake up.
The Doc looked at me for a very long time, and I clamped my mouth shut. Why did I say so much of myself? Why, why why? “See me after group ends, please.” Why, why, why?

After everyone wandered off for lunch, I walked over to the doctor.
“Sophie, I want to thank you for being honest with me and yourself. It probably took a lot of courage to admit how much he hurt you and how much you hurt yourself with your boyfriend. I want to tell you that I'm moving you up a level for sharing like that.”
I already knew how much he hurt me, I wouldn't have shared if I didn't, but I kept my mouth shut. I wouldn't want Doc to think I wasn't healing.
“Do I get a roommate and the rights to eat with everyone and stuff?” I asked eagerly.
“Yes. You also have to go to the exercise hall. That isn't so much a right as a rule.”
“Thank you.” I said. He wrote down my new room number and handed the paper to me. I trotted off, smiling. I won.

* * *

Room 4 was inhabited by an angry, volatile monster. Adara. I had been warned by the Dorm Manager that she went through roommates like razors. Undaunted, I slid my key in the lock. Thinking better of it, I pulled the key out and knocked.
“What?” She snapped from the inside.
“Your new roommate!” I sang, waiting for her to open the door and give me some fresh cookies and ice cold milk. More like jerk open the door and devour me, spitting my bones out and using my tendons as dental floss. I waited five minutes and knocked again.
“I'm not opening the door. I don't want a roommate.”
I unlocked the door and pushed it open dramatically. “Well that's just too bad for you, because I have a key, too.”