- Created By tburdboy
WHY
Why... why is it that I can spend hours, and hours, trying to log in on Adventure Quest, which always has a bloody limit on how many players can get on at once, yet on Dragon Fable, the same kind of game, made by the SAME site, with the SAME owners, always averaging MORE players online than Adventure Quest... It never takes me more than one attempt to log in. Never any "Sevrer Full, Buy Membership and get online whenever you want" crap.
...
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Urg
Blue Dragon: Disc 3: My 4 Hours of Hell
Hour 1: Phantom Dragon
Absorbs most every non-elemental attack, and faster than Speedy Gonzalaz on meth.
It was quite fond out 3-hit combos and gale force winds.
So not in Kansas anymore.
Hour 2: Blizzard Dragon
I thought I could beat him. I mean, fire > ice, right?
But then he started reflecting my fire attacks back at me.
And sending out blizzards.
And breathing beams of ice.
And smacking me around with his tail.
My arse STILL hasn't thawed out.
Hour 3: Amethyst Dragon
Purple. Hard to respect a dragon that's such a girly color.
I quickly learned respect when he started calling down lightning bolts and breathing said stuff.
He was also fond of a claws-tail combo.
I can hold 5 lightbulbs and they'll all start glowing.
Hour 4: King Poo
I kid you not. It was a poo. A poo with skin like metal, and the size of a small house, but still, a poo.
I thought, how hard can this posibly be? I laughed at all guides for it. I mean, a guide for a poo? They are the weakest of all monsters.
Apparently, he isn't King for nothing.
Also as fast as Speedy on meth, can take one chomp and send one of my characters down its gullet, and turn them to stone with a single roar.
Trying to set it on fire just made it mad.
I can udnerstand the dragons, but getting beaten by a POO!?!?!
Three Strikes
I have a computer class. Within this computer class, lies Nine hells of Boredom.
I spent the better part of the school year learning how to use Microsoft programs. I passed.
I have to spend the final stretch of the year learning how to use them again.
Learning the 15 different ways to use each function of the program.
The first embers began to glow.
A little over a month ago, my Xbox 360 caught the Red Ring of Death.
The embers burst into flame.
Fortunately, they fixed it, and gave me a free month of Xbox Live, so I was happy.
The flame died down.
Now... Now...
The weekend before last, I managed to set up an Xbox Live account.
Using this, I played Halo 3 on Live. It was a joyous time.
Due to circumstances and the placement of the 360, I had not been able to play again until today.
I had left the Halo 3 disc in once I last finished playing.
The 360 has been off since then.
It has been unplugged since then.
I came to play Halo 3 on Live, to slaughter countless hordes of enemies or die trying.
It would not read the disc.
Puzzled, I ejected the disc, and turned if over to find the source of the problem.
There is a GameCube disc sized circle inscribed into my Halo 3 disc. A perfect circle.
My reason, my one and only reason, my thrice damned reason for ever wanting an Xbox 360, had been rendered useless.
My vision went red. My eyes crossed. The fire within burt into a raging inferno.
I will buy a Mac.
Once I have this Mac, I will use Mac programs.
My internet browser will become Mozilla Firefox.
Once this transformation is complete, I will set every fiber of my being into annihilating everything that was, is, and will be, Microsoft.
There will be no hiding from my wrath.
There will be no reprieve from the storm.
There will be no mercy.
Wii Rant
I just felt the need for a good ole fashioned rant. Todays topic: The Wii.
A Sin against nature.
There are just so many problems with the Wii. I mean, the only problem with the Xbox 360 is it's tendency to get the Red Ring of Death. The only problem with the PS3 is its price. The Wii? I would say don't get me started, but I'm starting.
1) The Controller
I cannot begin to describe my absolute loathing for the Wii remote. It completely flies in the face of the controller design that has been set in stone since Third Generation gaming.
We did not invent video games to exercise. They invented them so you could do something fun while exerting as little energy as possible. And more than a few people have had to spend a couple grand when they forget to use the strap and fling the wiimote at their $3000 Plasma Screen.
There is also fact that there are about a dozen different accessories for Wiimotes. Some of them are absolutely necessary in order to play one game or another.
When I play a game, I do not want it to bloody cost anything beyond the electric bill for using the console, and the price for the game.
And the games. Oh, THE GAMES!
2) The Games
I cannot begin to describe my horror upon seeing such games as Dancing with the Stars, Viva la Pinata, and Dogz.
Absolute atrocities to the gaming world.
There are good titles, I'll admit- Smash Bros Brawl, Twilight Princess- but they number about as many as my fingers and toes.
As Christopher Hartmann puts it, they're beacons of quality in a sea of shit.
Some of the games completely mortify the gamer in me. It is outright wrong to play a game about cooking! (See: Cooking Mama)
This is what they build those bloody educationl Leap Frog things for!
Excuse me a moment, I'm so blind with rage and contempt I've forgotten my third point... Ah.
3) DVD
I utterly shocked me when I discovered the Wii doesn't play DVDs.
The 360 Plays DVDs. Every Sony product but the PSP and PSX plays DVDs.
What in the Nine Hells possessed them to leave the Wii without such a quality?
What makes the Wii so damned special it doesn't need to be DVD compatible to help boost revenue!?
Admittedly, I am not so embittered by this point as the others, but it nettles me still.
Well, I have said all I wish to say about the Wii. I have relieved myself of the rant, and will no more look upon or speak of the Sin Against Nature until such a time as I actually possess the few good titles- beacons and life rafts in this sea of despair, comfort for my sorrow over Nintendo selling out mind, body, and soul, just to make a damnable profit.
