@red kie:

I'm not entirely sure

@XCandyLuverX:

hu? what to what XD

@red kie:

whaaaaaaaaaaaaat???

nah! i enjoy your storys realy XD
like i said try to find something to pull your insparation from
and if you want to improve aske for help and aske ppl to read your story and give youfeed back on stuff that will happen
: like like their at their house------they go to eat------they go to the store and blah gets lost -----so blah goes home alone ----so blah gets blahed:
but instead you can cut out the whole intro thing and start it at the store so you can get more in depth on ppl instead of worying about sean transishans
and remeber the hardest judge is yourself